An Exchange Student, An Arm, and a New Adventure
by Sakura23
Summary: Two girls on a study abroad program in Japan never expected to meet a dying man with a strange bird-like arm while wandering around town. When Shingo dies, Ankh must train Eiji's successor as he takes on a new body and leads a new life outside Japan. AU
1. The Beginning of a New Adventure

_Kamen Rider OOO_

_Episode Zero: An Exchange Student, An Arm, and a New Adventure_

_*If Kristy is talking to me, imagine the speech is in English. Otherwise, it is all in Japanese. Ankh speaks Japanese nearly all the time, and any English words he says (mostly to Kristy and any other college students) will be italicized. The Greeeds will also be speaking Japanese, no matter what form they take. _

"Professor Yamamoto did it again!" My friend Kristy moaned as we were heading down the street to the Yum-Yum Bakery to buy our weekly treat of meat buns. "He assigned our entire class a ten page essay on anything related to Edo Japan! And we have to write it all in Japanese! Have you any idea how hard that will be for someone who isn't a native speaker, or writer in this instance?"

"Sounds like you're regretting your decision to not only study abroad in Tokyo as a international studies major, but one with a Japanese minor as well." I answered. "Don't worry, I feel your pain."

Kristy rolled her eyes when she heard that, but didn't say anything back as we approached a busy intersection on our thoroughbred horses, which were being rented from the local Mounted Police department. A friend of mine from a Japanese culture club I was a member of, Hina Izumi, had used her connections with the police to get us permission to exercise the horses in the absence of her brother Shingo, who had owned the horses until he mysteriously disappeared following an investigation of a burning building.

The horses were restless as they clopped down the street, since they had been confined to the stable after their assigned rider disappeared. They were extremely high spirited, which was why no other officer had dared to approach them or assign them to another officer in need of a mount. Shingo and Hina had been the only ones who could approach the animals without getting kicked or bitten, until Kristy and I had come along to assist the officers unwilling to handle such animals. Kristy was the daughter of a horse whisperer, so she knew how to calm these animals down. I too had some experience working with horses, and since Kristy was not just a fellow study-abroad student and my roommate, but a close friend, I couldn't turn down her offer of a city-wide riding excursion.

"Good thing we're going back to New Jersey tomorrow." She said while maneuvering her high-strung stallion through the human traffic jam that blocked our access to the crosswalk. I followed as closely as possible, while also making sure my horse didn't accidentally tread on people's feet. Luckily people were eager to get out of the way upon seeing the local police department's logo engraved on the bridles. Not surprisingly, many children shouted 'uma!' at the top of their little lungs as they pointed out the horses to their parents as we rode by them. "You have no idea how nerve-wrecking it is to type up your assignments when a Japanese roommate is looking over your shoulder to make sure you don't make silly mistakes."

"It's certainly hard to learn Japanese if you're not proficient in Chinese." I pointed out. "Then again, hey, you did say you wanted a little challenge. Just don't confuse hiragana with katakana and katakana with kanji and you'll do just fine."

At this point we turned into a little alley across the street from the bakery so I could snap a few quick photos of the area for my school newspaper back in the US. The editor of that newspaper had assigned me to do a story on the slums of Tokyo, and though I wasn't too happy about having to spend so much time interviewing the poor in such unsanitary places, I had been offered a good sum of money if the article turned out to be good. That was a prize I couldn't refuse. As an aspiring journalist, I wanted to do well enough to be noticed by others.

The horses' hooves made loud clopping noises on the broken concrete as the two of us proceeded through the neighborhood. Slums are a rare sight in modern cities, but a careful observer can find them if he or she looks hard enough. It looked like the poor parts of Brooklyn—which I had been to in order to report on a similar story back in the States. Dirty children with mud on their shoes, or feet if they happened to be barefoot, darted in and out of open doors and smelly piles of trash as they played a little game of chase, laughing all the way. Some stopped to pet the horses, while others asked Kristy if she had any treats on her. Smiling, both Kristy and I did our best to oblige them by stopping to say hello and hand out pieces of fruit we had gotten from the dining hall at the University of Tokyo. Not wanting my banana to ripen too much from the heat produced by the horse as it walked, I dug that out of the saddlebag and gave it to a boy who didn't look like he had washed his hair for weeks, because he was giving me such a pitiful look that I couldn't resist not giving him anything out of sympathy.

On our way out from the slums after spending nearly an entire day interviewing the residents and playing with the children, Kristy suddenly gave a shout of alarm when she noticed a mostly red arm tipped with sharp black claws hanging limply over a metal bar on the ground behind some trash bags. Upon closer inspection, we realized the arm was firmly attached to a young blond haired Japanese man lying unconscious on the concrete. He seemed badly injured, and I noticed that a trickle of blood was oozing down one side of his mouth. This indicated that he had been beaten up quite violently, and the lack of any reaction when we moved the horses in for a closer look showed how badly his wounds, seen and unseen, probably were.

"We need to get an ambulance here." Kristy told me while dismounting to take a better look at the unconscious man. "He's badly hurt."

"I'm not sure if the best course of action is to do that." I said while getting off my horse as well. Then, while Kristy held the reins of both our mounts, I gingerly picked up the red arm. Gold rings with bird motifs adorned two of its fingers, and a small white hole was visible in the center of its palm. Red scales made up the arm's skin until it transitioned abruptly into normal human skin. Black strips of cloth made up the armor beneath the scales, and two strips of said cloth fluttered in the breeze as I held the man's hand up closer to my face for a better look. A bird shaped object appeared to be perched on the arm's right side, and since it was melded right onto the arm, I figured it was part of this guy's anatomy. "The paramedics might freak out when they see this. But other than that, this man looks pretty normal to me. Maybe he's a cosplayer?"

"Or a were-hawk or something." As I carefully turned the man over to check his vital signs, she turned towards me. "I don't suppose you want to take him home?"

"It's probably best to take him to a hospital, but like I said, I don't want to attract too much attention." I told her. "So I suppose we could take him back to our apartment. I can't feel any broken bones, and it doesn't look like he's bleeding internally somewhere. A good rest and some food might be enough to make him well again."

"You sure? Since you're not a nursing student, you can't exactly tell if he _is_ injured internally." Kristy answered. She then winced upon seeing me roughly jerk the body up into a sitting position. "Careful! You could make his injuries worse."

"Hand me the water bottle." I reached my hand out to her, prompting Kristy to untie my saddlebag and pull out an unopened bottle of spring water. After telling the horses to stay, she dropped the reins and positioned the man so that he was sitting nearly upright and cradled his head in her arms as I began tipping the bottle and pouring a little bit of the water into the cap. We then dribbled the water into his mouth in an attempt to revive the unconscious man, and before long he started to stir. "Thank goodness. He's alive!"

"Ow." Said the stranger. He brought his strange arm up to his face and winced upon seeing his own blood on his clawed fingers. "Damn. This body might be done for."

"You okay?" Kristy wanted to know. She then held up the bottle of water, in case he wanted to drink more.

The man looked at her as she spoke, and his eyes narrowed when he saw that we weren't people he knew. "You saw me, didn't you. With this arm."

"Oh, uh, yeah." I said. "Why, does it bother you that we saw it?"

"Yes, because now you two will no doubt want to know who I am, and I—OW!" he tried to rise at this time and had to sink back down to the ground, groaning in agony. "This human won't last long at this rate. I must find Eiji. I don't have enough Cell Medals to keep this body much longer, and he might be able to get some from old man Kougami."

Hearing this, Kristy turned to face me and rolled her eyes. "Oh, look what you've gotten us into. I can't believe we're going to be stuck helping some guy from Mars."

"Just because he refers to himself in the third person doesn't mean he's an alien. And there's no way we're leaving him here. C'mon, help me get him on the horse."

"Oh no you don't. We're leaving the country tomorrow. We don't have time to play nurse."

"Yes, we do. I mean, we can't just leave him here."

With a sigh, Kristy got back on the horse, ran a hand through her straight but slightly ruffled brown hair—it was rather windy at the moment—and shook her head in disbelief as I began half shoving, half pulling the man with the strange red arm over my own horse's withers. I then swung myself up into the saddle behind him and used my arms to keep him in a sitting position. If I simply draped him like a rag doll over the saddle, the two of us would attract a lot more attention than we thought we would. "Don't worry, I have a feeling we'll pull through together. Let's go home for now."

Immediately after getting back from the police station to drop off our horses, Kristy hailed a taxi to take us back to the apartment we were renting from the local landlord, and after getting back into our room we promptly pushed the man, who had introduced himself as Ankh during our ride back, onto the lower bunk bed. I then got out a rolled up sleeping bag to use later that night since my bed was now occupied by a complete stranger, and together my roommate and I began stuffing the last of our clothes into the two suitcases we would be checking in at the airport after breakfast the next morning. However, our preparations to return to the States was interrupted when someone yelled "Open up!" and started banging on our door.

A concerned woman in a medical technician's uniform stood in the hallway when I opened the door. "A couple of residents here told me the two of you dragged in someone who looked half dead. Is he okay? Can we see him?"

"Um…sure." I said after a long pause, and motioned to Kristy to put our suitcases elsewhere so the medical team could come in with their medical kits and stretcher. The woman introduced herself as Amane Fujita, and the first thing she did was shine a light in Ankh's eyes to see if he responded. He did, albeit with a yelp, and lifted his now human arms—the scales and claws were now gone for some reason—up to his face to shield himself from the bright glare of the pen light. "Well, at least he's responding."

"Can you tell me your name?" Amane asked Ankh. "Know what day it is today?"

"Why do you need to know that?" Ankh snapped back as the technicians began poking and prodding him to further test his reflexes.

"Because you were found unconscious and could have a concussion. We can't have that. Do you remember knocking your head against anything?"

"Actually, Uva punched me half to death before walking off with my stuff. You could say I was mugged." He then reached into his pocket and smiled when he pulled out a iPhone4 from his pocket. "Good, this survived intact. I'm surprised Bug Brain didn't nab this as well."

"Like, wow, I wish I had that." Kristy's brown eyes grew wide when she saw he had the latest version of the iPhone. "They're supposed to be really expensive!

"Um, you still haven't answered Amane-kun's questions."

"The name's Ankh, and today's the fifteenth of April." Ankh answered haughtily as the medical students continued to fuss over him and chatter among themselves about his condition.

"That's good, Ankh-san. But..what's this?" The technician now pointed to a dark patch of skin on Ankh's belly. "Is that blood? Kami, could it be that you're internally bleeding and not aware of it?"

Ankh looked down at the patch, then gave us a blank look before speaking. "Oh."

"'Oh?'" I raised my eyebrow as the EMS students immediately panicked and readied the stretcher to transport Ankh to the nearest hospital immediately. "Could it be that you're not feeling any pain?"

"Now that you mention it—OW!" Ankh yelled even louder upon feeling a hand touch his abdomen. "That really hurts!"

"Definitely internal bleeding, by the looks of it." Amane then moved the stretcher closer to the bed, and she helped her male colleagues lift the man off the bed and onto the gurney. The three medical personnel then strapped him down and Amane told me she would keep us updated on his condition. "Thank you for cooperating with us. Feel free to stop by the hospital later and check in with a doctor if you want a status update on his condition."

"Er, thanks." I told her, and the two of us bowed to each other before the mysterious stranger was wheeled out of the room.

We coincidentally happened to meet Hina Izumi at a bus stop later that night, and she gasped in horror when we told her we had picked up a blonde stranger with a red arm with bird-like features in one of the slums of Tokyo. Her shriek of dismay following our announcement startled a few people around us, causing them to give us alarmed looks. To avoid attracting further attention, the two of us left the area and went into a small secluded spot behind some trees by the sidewalk to talk about the situation further without fear of being overheard.

"He's in the hospital?" she cried out after listening to us recount the events of the day. "Oh Shingo! How could this have happened?"

"Um, he's not exactly your brother anymore."

"I know. He's some arm monster now. But the monster has my brother, and if he's in the hospital—"

"Okay, here's the situation." I said. "The doctors said he's bleeding internally and it's possible he won't live long, even on life support. Ankh is even thinking of ditching him because of this. However, I've told him not to leave Shingo's body until you get the chance to say goodbye to your brother." After saying all this in one breath I stopped myself and took another big one before continuing. "I'm sorry, but according to the doctors, your brother is practically brain dead. He was badly injured during the mugging, and though Ankh could have saved him by attaching himself to Shingo within 10 minutes of separation, he ran away to avoid this guy named Uva and came back too late to save your brother."

"But you said that Ankh still managed to talk through Shingo after you got to him."

"Yeah, but he also told us in the hospital earlier that he can't sense Shingo anymore. It is too late, Hina, trust me on this. If your love for your brother could bring him back from the dead, I would tell you to go for it, but as the situation stands, there's nothing any of us can do. For that, I'm very sorry."

Hina looked downcast when she heard this, and for a long time we stared down at the ground to observe a little butterfly fluttering around our ankles. After what seemed like ages the girl looked back up into my sympathetic eyes, and nodded. "I understand. Take me to him. I will take the time to say goodbye to my brother, and send him off to the next world with my blessing."

Ankh was sitting up in his hospital bed with a murderous expression on his face when we arrived in his room with Hina in tow. A tube had been inserted into his windpipe to help him breathe, since Shingo, being dead already, could no longer breathe on his own, and even a monster cannot breathe if its host isn't able to do so. The strain of keeping a body this way was too much for the arm monster, and he immediately catapulted himself across the room the moment Hina approached the bed, causing Shingo to fall back onto the pillows that the nurses had placed behind him.

"Good bye, dear brother." She said sadly, and held up her brother's right hand so she could stroke it for the last time. "I was, no, I am, so proud of you for willing to put yourself in the line of duty. I'm sorry things had to end like this. Please watch over me, dear brother, and please remember that I love you. I always will."

"He was a police officer, and from what I heard, a very good one at that." I commented. "I am sorry for your loss."

"Thank you. Um…Ankh, was it? You and Eiji can keep my brother's phone. That way you and I can keep in touch if you want to. And Eiji can keep getting updates on how things are going as well."

"…"

"Ankh?"

"I suppose. I've got an attachment to it now."

"Come here, we need to see if you're okay." I said, and snatched the floating arm out of the air to give it a good inspection. "Hmm. You'll live."

"Of course I'll live. Let me contact Eiji." And with that he shook his arm, revealing the iPhone4, and started tapping the onscreen keypad. It was kind of strange to see a floating arm making a phone call, but I got used to it pretty quickly, because I had a feeling we would be stuck with this strange guy for a while. "Eiji, this is Ankh. Yes, I'm okay. Yes, we lost some Core Medals. One Kamikiri, one Tora, and one Batta medal. By the way, I found you a permanent home."

"Er wait, what?"

"Long story short, the policeman is dead and I need a new body. Thankfully I've met some girls who might be able to lead me to another body I can use, so we'll be flying with them tomorrow to in the United States. Have you heard of that country? Oh, you have? You once spent a weekend sightseeing in New York City? Where's New York City? Anyway, I figure it'll be nice to be away from the other Greeed, so I'm going to cross an ocean and stay in another country for a while. I need time to recover from Uva's attack. Yes, I'm okay. And yes, I'm not lying when I said that the policeman has passed away. I ditched—okay, I let him go. Geez, don't yell at me, Hina is okay with it, so don't _you_ complain! And I did it because I think that's the best course of action given how bad of a beating Uva gave me."

"We don't have extra plane tickets, folks—"

"Okay, take that back. I'm going to the States to get a new body, and you can stay here to continue collecting paychecks by working at that Cous Couisser restaurant we used to stay at. Before I go though, could you stop by the local hospital? I'll need the belt and any Core Medals you have on your back. Someone else will have to be OOO. And Eiji—thanks for everything. I'm sorry I borrowed your money to pay for all these popsicles. I'll admit I was—pardon the pun—too greedy. Fine, I'll go find myself a job to pay you back for eating all the ice cream in the restaurant. I'm _sorry_ you got a bill for it on my behalf. Now come over here so I can get my things and we can finally say goodbye to each other for real."

Ankh now put away the phone, and turned his dismembered floating limb toward me. "Now, I believe there's work to be done. You girls still haven't finished packing yet, right?"

I nodded. "That's right. And by the way, you're seriously not thinking of coming along, are you? Because I have no idea how we'll get past airport security with you in tow. Not with the new regulations they've so recently put up."

"Would you rather have me wandering around Tokyo as a dismembered arm? You have no idea how uncomfortable and unnatural I feel right now without a body."

"Yeah, it's about as unnatural as an invisible Apple fan."

"Why you-!" At this point Ankh tackled me from behind, and Kristy gave a little shriek as the arm and I began fighting and yelling all over the floor. It was only after the hospital director called for security that we finally stopped trying to kill each other. Not surprisingly, as soon as security personnel were dispatched we were subsequently booted out the door for being unruly.

We moped around at the entrance to the hospital for about ten minutes until the young man Ankh had called on the phone earlier came to give the floating hand a couple of colorful coins and a strange rectangular shaped object with slots in the front that appeared to be able to hold these coins. After exchanging a few words with the arm, the man introduced himself to us as Hino Eiji and offered us his phone number, promising us that he would keep in touch because he would want to know how Ankh was doing every now and then.

"Ankh might not want to keep in touch with me, so I figure it would be best if you two—what do you Americans call it, I heard someone say it to me when I went sight-seeing once in New York—"kept me in the loop" instead." He said as Kristy began copying his cell phone number into her own phone. She then proceeded to text herself a note to remember to sign up for an international texting plan so that we wouldn't be charged exorbitant fees for sending messages across an entire ocean. "By the way, try to stay away from the Greeed and you'll do fine…unless, of course, Ankh makes one of you the next OOO. In that case, fighting may be the only option you have."

"Huh?" I had no idea what he was talking about and so gave Eiji a confused look.

"Oh, Ankh didn't say anything about the Medals or anything along those lines yet? Don't worry though, I'm sure he'll tell you soon enough. By the way, good luck, you two. Take care, okay?"

"President Kougami doesn't know what happened to me, does he?" Ankh asked as Eiji was putting on his helmet so he could get back on the motorcycle he had used to get here.

"Ah, about that. He knows. I met Gotou on the way here and he said that he saw everything because he used a Batta Candroid to spy on the three of you. According to Gotou—he works for the Kougami Foundation by the way—the President's shipping quite a few of those Ride Vendors to New Jersey, where I believe you're going." He paused, then realization hit him and gasped in amazement. "Phew, that's far! You're in for one long ride, Ankh. You're heading to America's East Coast! As for the President, I hope he doesn't break his bank transporting all those vending machines. Then again, he's rich, so you won't ever be in any financial trouble in your battle against the Greeed."

Hearing this, Ankh typed a few words into his iPhone and a map of the United States opened in a new window on his screen. The screen then zoomed in to show the state that Eiji had mentioned. "New Jersey? Are you serious?"

"Yea, that's like, right next door to New York. Heh, don't forget to study your geography, Ankh. I suggest you buy a map when you get off the plane so you don't get lost in a strange new country." Eiji then smiled at us before lowering his motorcycle visor and revving up the engine of his vehicle. "I'll tell Chiyoko-san you've found a new home so that she doesn't worry too much about what's happened to you. And thanks for letting Hina-chan know about the fate of her brother. I was expecting you to get beat up by her again for letting her brother die, but I'm glad you were honest to her about what happened. He does mean a lot to her, after all."

Hearing this, I smiled back and gave the man a slight bow. "Thank you for stopping by, Eiji."

"Huh? Oh, please don't thank me. It's all for the sake of saving the world, so I was more than happy to help. Like I told Ankh when I was OOO, if I don't reach out my hand when I can, the regret of not doing so could make me wish I was dead." After saying this deeply meaningful phrase, he finally tilted the handlebars toward the direction of the street and merged with oncoming traffic to leave us mulling over what he had just said.

It was finally decided the next morning that Ankh would pose as a souvenir so we could get him on the plane without much fuss. This way, I figured the airport security guards wouldn't think twice about letting him pass through the metal detectors. But he inevitably set off the alarms because his arm was made up of real metal coins. However, because he did a good job of posing as a inanimate object, no-one asked us many questions, and before long we were sneakily shoving fries and bits of chicken nuggets through his palm at the airport McDonald's to keep him happy and quiet.

"I'm beginning to think I'll like this food." He mumbled as another big chunk of Big Mac went into his palm with loud slurping noises. Thankfully the man sitting behind us was eating just as loudly, so Ankh's unusual way of consuming food, as well as the fact that it was simply an arm with the ability to talk, went unnoticed. The fact that Ankh's hand was partly hidden by my large red backpack further helped him blend in with his surroundings. "I hope we'll get to eat this often."

"No." Kristy and I both answered at once. I then told him to be prepared for a lot of home cooking because at school we hated the cafeteria food at college and liked to make meals ourselves using a small kitchen in our off-campus dorm apartment.

"Humph. Well, I suppose I have no choice. Eiji did make me swear not to be too greedy, so I guess I'll have to make do with whatever you two have to offer."

"And we're already being really generous by giving you a place to stay and food whenever you need it." Kristy answered. "By the way," here she turned to face me. "It's really fortunate we're not living next to a RA or anything. They would, like, totally freak if they found out a guy was living in our quarters. Our campus policy is not exactly pro co-ed in that we can share rooms with the opposite sex."

"Speaking of living with Ankh from now on, you'll have to stop buying too many clothes." I said. "We'll need to give at least one drawer worth of space for him to store his stuff. Just for the record, we have _way_ too many frilly dresses in the closet. Good grief, Kristy, there's no need to have a gazillion of those things in the bedroom. Think about donating them when the next clothing drive is held at our school."

"No! I love my dresses! Don't you dare donate them to charity, or else!"

"Okay, forget I asked." This time I was the one who rolled my eyes as Kristy started ranting about a girl's need to look stupendous when going out. The rant then moved onto the topic of lipstick and makeup, and here was where I drew the line.

"Whoa, Kristy! Back up. You're starting to go on a tangent. Girly-girl thought alert!"

"And so, I say, why can't I wear lipstick around this roommate? Why is lipstick so—"

"Ahem!" I cleared my throat this time, and Kristy finally got the message. She promptly made a zipping motion with her hand and pretended to throw away the imaginary zipper that had now sealed her lips shut. "Thank you. People are starting to stare."

"Continental Airlines Flight 108 to Newark is now boarding. Repeat, Continental Airlines Flight 108 to Newark is now boarding." A PA announcement now crackled over the intercom, prompting Kristy and I to stand up hastily and toss unfinished burgers and wrapping paper into the nearest trash can. After a brief squabble over who would get to carry the arm, I ended up walking out with Ankh, who had to endure being stuffed into my carry-on bag because people were likely to stare if he was in plain sight of everyone. Before entering McDonald's we had already been mobbed by a group of Japanese third graders eager to poke him with their glow sticks and didn't want to attract more attention.

A fourteen hour flight from Narita International Airport to Newark Liberty International later, Kristy and I finally managed to touch down on American soil after spending four months in Japan. As required, we had to go through the line reserved for United States citizens returning from overseas, but before we could go through airport security the two of us had to fill out declaration forms that would tell immigration officers what we were bringing back into the country.

"Let's see, we each have backpacks filled with books and our respective laptops." Kristy said as I began scribbling on the form. At this time Ankh slowly unzipped my bag from the inside so he could gawk—if arms can gawk—at foreigners for the first time in his life. He had been living among Japanese people for a few months and was thus surprised to see a diverse crowd lining up behind us to get through customs, judging by the sounds he made as I was cursing a pen that had abruptly run out of ink. "One suitcase contains some toys you brought at some mall in Akihabara, and our clothing. The other is just filled with more textbooks. Hey, do you think we should declare Ankh on this thing?"

"Er, I dunno." I replied, and put away the now useless pen. "Let's just say he's a toy for the lack of a better term."

"He-ey…" Ankh did not sound pleased when he heard this. "I am a living, breathing thing. How dare you call me a-!" But he didn't get to finish his sentence, because I zipped up the backpack once again, leaving him with nary a peephole to see out of.

"Madam!" a security guard now came over to investigate the strange limb he had seen hanging half out of my backpack just moments before. "Are you trafficking human bodies?"

"What human body?" I asked innocently. "Officer, we passed a security screening already. If I was walking around with real body parts, don't you think I would be already behind bars?"

"Well, let's see what you've got in that backpack before I decide whether or not to press charges." The guard answered, prompting me to unzip the carry-on bag once again. As I did so, Ankh let out an almost inaudible gasp as he sucked in much needed air. The guard, seeing my backpack was open, took it and began taking things out one by one. As bystanders watched, out came a couple of toy boxes. I had stacked them over Ankh to hide him from view, but now the policeman was exposing him little by little.

Out of the backpack came the boxes containing various Kamen Rider and Super Sentai toys. He finally got to Ankh and pulled the arm out of the bag to inspect it. Luckily our hitchhiking Greeed was smart enough to understand the consequences of being found out he was actually a living thing by not trying to breathe, much less move. After turning Ankh over multiple times and looking closely at it, the guard finally huffed his satisfaction.

"It's not doing anything, so I suppose you girls are off the hook." He said while handing Ankh and the backpack back to me. He then turned around to look in another direction. As Kristy helped me replace the boxes in my backpack, I placed Ankh beside us to let him breathe, since he had sneakily took the iPhone out of his palm and managed to type the word 'air' using a word processing app.

Kristy now looked at me and jerked a finger toward the line of people seeking readmission to the States. "You know, it's probably about time to leave. I say we get going or else we'll never get a taxi to take us out of here."

"Sure thing. Let's go." With that, we picked up the luggage and began hauling it toward the security checkpoints.

About two hours later, the taxi driver finally deposited us in front of our off-campus apartment at 23 Maple Avenue, which was situated merely a mile from our college campus. After paying him the fare for the ride, and thanking him for helping us bring the luggage up the short flight of stairs that led up to the front door, Kristy and I walked indoors to take an elevator up to the fifth floor. The whole time Ankh sat silently on my arm and did not move. It was only after we had gotten into an empty elevator that he finally spoke up.

"So you live here, huh?" he asked, and watched—if arms could watch—as I pushed the number 5 button on the panel beside the closing doors. "Doesn't look too different from what I've seen in Japan."

"Our apartment's modest at best, so don't expect too much." I warned the arm. "But we do have a spare bedroom, and you can take that before and after you find a suitable human."

"Yeah, we don't want you to come in and out of our room as you please." Kristy added. "No offense, but just remember to call out or knock before you come into our space, okay? And we'll do the same."

"Dinner is always at six. We often eat breakfast and lunch at school, so you'll have to make do with leftovers most of the time." I said. "And when you do get a body, I expect you to help out with the shopping. I _will not_ have you eating us out of hearth and home."

"That doesn't sound fair."

"You are getting food and a roof over your head—I mean arm. Like I said, that's a pretty generous offer. But you have to pitch in to do your part and help us with the rent. I'll tell the landlord you're living with us so he knows there's an extra occupant. And Ankh, _don't_ spend too much money on popsicles. It's summer now but winter will soon be here, and I don't want to have to take care of you if you get sick."

"You girls worry too much." At this point the doors opened, allowing us to finally get out of the small, cramped elevator. "And I won't splurge too much on popsicles, anyway!"

"Hmm." Here I reached into my wallet and pulled out a receipt I had saved. "Then why did we pay for 7 popsicles back the airport? Good god, I think we're going to have to prevent you from ever getting your hands on cash or credit until I'm sure you won't break our weekly budget."

"I was hungry."

"Ankh, you ate two McChickens, about half a package of medium fries, and a quarter of my Big Mac when we were still in Narita International Airport. How you managed to still have room for seven popsicles is beyond me."

"I was hungry!"

"Whatever. Ah, here we are." At this point I reached our apartment door and began fishing in my pocket for the key that would open it. "Home, sweet home, everyone! Dibs on the shower, by the way."

"Yay." Said Kristy in a voice that told me she wasn't looking forward to living with another roommate, especially one who was male. Still, she offered to take my suitcase into our bedroom and show Ankh around as I headed off toward the bathroom for a much needed bath.

That night, over a simple dinner of mashed potatoes, peas, and roasted turkey slices with homemade gravy, Ankh explained how he had awoken and freed the other Greeed, allowing them to prey on humankind's desires much like they had done 800 years ago. In addition, he told us about how, because each Greeed used to have 10 Medals, when one of each set of color corresponding Medals were destroyed, their kind evolved to become sentient beings filled with a desire to become complete. After I helped him wipe his hand clean of all food, as he had to consume food through his palm without a proper mouth, he then produced from his palm a red colored coin with a gold rim and a plain silver one. It was one of the many coin like objects Eiji had given him when we met him at the entrance to the hospital prior to our plane ride back to the United States.

"The red medal's my Core Medal." He explained. "To us Greeeds, the Core Medals are what keep us together. The silver Cell Medals make up the rest of our bodies. Imagine a popsicle, if you will. The Core Medals will be the stick, and the Cell Medals the popsicle that surrounds the stick. Without the stick, well, your popsicle wouldn't hold together very long, would it?"

"And this specific Core Medal's yours." I said slowly as my fingers picked up the Medal, which was surprisingly cold to the touch. A bird-like design had been etched onto the surface of one side of the coin. The other side had a single raised bar on it.

"That's obvious, isn't it? That's the Taka Medal. It's just one of the many Core Medals that used to make up my body. At the moment I'm more interested in finding Cells so I can reconstruct more limbs, but I would like to find out what happened to the rest of my Medals. 9 Medals make up a Greeed's full body, and each Greeed is made up three different types of animals. In my case I have two Taka Medals—one for use in the OOO driver and one to keep my body together, but I still need one more Taka to get my head back. I'm missing three Peacock and three Condor Medals for my chest and lower body, respectively. And I have no idea where they are, though I suspect the Kougami Foundation has them in its big Medal Vault somewhere."

"You mean you don't know exactly where the others are?" I asked, and flicked a pea into Ankh's bowl. "That's bad, isn't it?"

"Of course it's bad. How am I going to face my fellow Greeed if I can't even walk properly?" Ankh replied as the rest of his dinner went through his palm. "All right, I'm full. Now give me back my Medals. You two have had plenty of time to look at them."

His palm first turned to Kristy, and she didn't even blink as he plucked his Cell Medal out of her hands and "swallowed" it. I then tossed his Core Medal back, allowing him to float out of the room to tinker once again with his iPhone4.

Once I heard the door to his room close with a loud click, I nodded in my roommate's direction to attract her attention. "Hey, are you really comfortable with the idea of living with a floating hand for God knows how long?"

"Yes—I mean no. I mean, it's going to be so weird living with Ankh from now on." She answered. The fact that her mouth was still full of mashed potatoes made this reply sound a bit slurred. "But we'll get along okay. I just don't get this friendly vibe from him though. He appears so aloof and suspicious of us."

"It's his first time in a new country, so let's just let him settle in at his own pace, okay?" I told her, and shoved the last bite of rice into my mouth. "I'm going to the library later to work on those hieroglyph translations for Professor Kane. Could you drop me there on your way to work at Red Lobster?"

Kristy looked at the time when I asked her this, and after a moment's hesitation she nodded. "I can do that. Would you like me to pick you up too?"

"I'll take the bus home. Before we go though, remind me to tell Ankh to stay in the apartment. I don't want the local newspaper to print any 'arm sightings' if I can help it."

"Naturally. And since you're going to the library anyway, could you email Mr. Adams that we'll be taking her offer of a overnight riding excursion at Whitewater Lake after graduation?"

"Sure. I miss racing you on the lakeshore. Who wants to bet that my Thunder beats your Flora again?"

"In your dreams!" Kristy hollered loudly at this time, and flushed red when I laughed in response, since she knew her mare had never won a race against my gelding.

Despite having been told to stay in the apartment, Ankh decided that he wanted to go outside nonetheless. He had heard us talking from his room and was eager to prove that he didn't have to be stuck indoors all the time. _After all, _he thought, _they did say I could hunt for a body._ With that thought in mind, he quietly opened his bedroom door—taking care to close it firmly behind him after doing so—before reaching into a drawer in the kitchen and taking a spare set of keys from it so he could let himself back into the apartment later in his new human form. Then, after making sure that no-one was out taking a late night walk around the apartment complex, he opened the window and let himself fly off into the cold, moonless night.

Ankh spent a good hour or two wandering around town, until he happened to witness a gang of burly African American drug addicts beating up a much thinner, blonde American youth wearing a Phi Alpha Theta sweatshirt in a dimly lit alley. From his hiding place behind a dumpster, he witnessed the leader of the gang take a piece of rope and attempt to strangle the victim with it. He watched, somewhat disgusted, as a potential body was subject to much abuse by its tormentors.

At last he could take it no more and rushed over to the teen's rescue. With his claws he was able to inflict quite a few deep scratches on every gangster's face, and because he was merely an arm, was able to easily dodge the numerous bullets that were fired at him from the gangsters' guns. It wasn't until everyone had run out of bullets that he was able to scare them all off by hitting them repeatedly with any Cell Medals he could spare. Once they had all run off did he pick up said Medals and inspect the unconscious victim of gang violence for any injuries that might hinder his journey home.

"He will do." Ankh said to himself, and without further ado attached himself to the teen's right arm. There was no resistance from the youth as he did so, since Daniel Piers, as this man was apparently called, had been oxygen deprived for a little over a minute, and he was no longer breathing. Faint signs of life told Ankh that this man was hanging to life by a thread, but he decided against finding someone else because it was better to control a person who had no idea what was going on to his body than someone who might resist him. "Now, I believe I need to check up on something."

Ankh now walked his human body over to a streetlight in order to read the new messages he had received on his iPhone4. Since no-one else was around, he let his Greeed arm stay visible, but took care to duck back into the alley whenever he heard a car coming, or footsteps that sounded like they were coming toward him. "'Monsters are terrorizing parts of San Francisco—strange elephant creature mowed down cars and police officers in its quest for someone named 'ohs'.'" A text message on his phone read.

For a moment Ankh didn't understand the message, until he used his host's memories to make some sense of the English language. He then went online to Google Maps and made the correct conclusion that his fellow Greeeds were tracking him down. Though they had not yet reached the East Coast, where he was, they were likely to find him very soon. He also cursed Mezuru for being the voice of reason in the group, because only she would have the ability to think up this plan to hunt for him. That, and Uva, the bug Greeed, had never forgiven him for narrowly escaping from a trap set up by his fellow Greeed.

"Damn them." He said to himself. "Now one of the girls will have to be OOO, and take possession of three of the Core Medals I have. That, and she's likely to lose some of them too, if she's not careful. I'll be damned if, like Eiji, she messes up big time and doesn't know how to fight."

As he was muttering this, the ice cream truck suddenly stopped by him. The sight of popsicle ads glued to the side of the vehicle immediately attracted him, and he went up to the truck after plunging a hand into his human's wallet and finding more than enough 1 dollar bills to buy five or so of the cold, sweet treats. Knowing how much I would complain if I found out he was buying "ice candies" again though, Ankh only asked for one strawberry flavored ice pop and left the vicinity before a mob of children streamed out of a nearby apartment complex to make similar requests. He let out a disgusted snort as the youngsters began crying out for their treats, then climbed a tree to enjoy his dessert without being disturbed by the noisy humans in the area.

The popsicle-loving Greeed who was now a permanent guest in our apartment startled me the next morning when I was preparing some bacon for breakfast. The pan was sizzling and I was in the process of turning the fried meat over when Ankh breezed in with a comb in one hand and his iPhone4 in the other. Of course, when I first saw Ankh in Daniel's body, I didn't know it was him.

"Dan-Daniel Piers? How did _you_ get in here?" I wanted to know at first. "Since you're here, I might as well bid you welcome. Come and join us for breakfast—Holy cow!" At this point Ankh shot me a disgusted look and the lower part of his right arm became covered in Cell Medals, but only for a moment, because the Cell Medals helped Ankh's monster arm take shape. "Ankh?"

"_Is that how you say 'good morning' to people around here?_" Ankh wanted to know, and smirked when he saw my jaw drop in surprise after hearing him speak English. "_Well, as you can see, I've taken a human body as a host, and I quite like it._"

"Oh…my…god…"

A moment of silence ensued, broken only when the Greeed put down his comb to switch the iPhone4 with his iPad, which had an application that apparently allowed him to track down the other Greeeds. A map of the US popped up, and when I asked to see what he was doing, Ankh used his fingers to manipulate the map until it zoomed in on the state of Nebraska. 4 different colored dots were huddled together in a Elmer Glue factory in the city of Omaha. He spoke again, but this time he switched back to Japanese because it was the language he was most comfortable speaking in. It was weird listening to Daniel, who had never taken a single Japanese course in his entire life, speak like a pro, but I reminded myself that this was not really him who was speaking. "Those four dots represent my fellow comrades, who are apparently scouring the country for any signs of me. Just last night they were in San Francisco, and I'm sure that by tomorrow they'll be on the East Coast. If not here, then somewhere close to here."

"And that's bad. What happened with Daniel, anyway?"

After a moment's hesitation Ankh told me what had happened last night, causing me to exclaim loudly in response. "Good lord! What is with you and nearly dead people?"

"Hey, do I want to control a body that refuses to acknowledge my presence? Of course not. Besides, it's a _give and take_ situation. And you know I like to take. Anyway, I figure Uva's the worst Greeed you'll ever meet, and he thinks I have all the Core Medals and is only faking dismemberment to throw everyone else off track. So I bet we'll end up fighting him the most because of that. Mezuru is more reasonable, I'm sure we could work out a deal somehow with her. Gamel is the dumbest, so you shouldn't have any trouble with him or his Yummys. And Kazari…well, he's a cunning one. Like a cat, he's quiet, but at the same time, deadly. Tread carefully around him. "

"Speaking of cats, Kristy's going to fetch Bast from the animal shelter later today. Now that we're back from our four month long study abroad program in Japan, she's here to stay again." I said as the bacon continued to sizzle in the buttered pan. "Can I trust you to feed her and make sure she doesn't run outside or anything if we girls must go out? At least until you get a job?"

"_Hey!_ I'm not your servant, you know! I have rights!"

"Monsters have rights?" I asked, and burst out laughing, much to the Greeed's disgust. We then heard the sound of the doorknob turning, and Ankh then put away the iPad before Kristy, who was not as interested in Yummys and Greeeds as I was, came in with two bags full of cat food in her arms. "Hey, Kris! Back so soon?"

"Petsmart ran out of Friskies, so we're going to have to make do with Purina Cat Chow for now." She said. "I also have a few cans of 100% organic Fancy Feast."

"Do they list byproducts?"

"No."

"Corn meal?"

"No."

"Animal digest?"

"No!"

"Were they cheap?"

"No! Good god, Michelle, I know how to read labels. Geez." She then walked into the kitchen to put the cat food in the cabinet above the counter and smiled at Ankh as she began emptying the plastic bags she had brought from Petsmart. "Hi Dan! Here to enjoy Michelle's awesome bacon again?"

"Actually, that's Ankh." I said, and turned off the fire so I could start placing slices of bacon on three different plates. "Apparently he's gotten Daniel to be his vessel for the foreseeable future."

"Cool." Kristy answered. She then noticed Ankh's arm and turned to shoot me a look of disbelief. "Wait a minute. Fellow-roommate-slash-classmate-slash-animal-lover say what?"

"I said that's Ankh." I replied, even as my hands reached into the refrigerator to grab a carton of eggs sitting on the top shelf. I then straightened up when I realized something. "Wait a second…That's your boyfriend he just possessed, right?"

"Oh gods." Kristy went over to the kitchen table and sat down in front of her chosen plate of bacon before rubbing her temples, as if to ward off an impending headache. "This is _not_ good."

"So I guess you guys have to pretend you still have a relationship, eh?"

"It's not that simple! I mean, I can't go around dating Daniel if Ankh's possessing him." Here she turned to the Greeed, who was feigning interest in seeing me crack eggs into a porcelain bowl with flower designs around its circumference. "Now everyone will notice that he's not the real Daniel anymore. I mean, Dan was never a fan of Apple products, so for people to suddenly see him walking around with an iPhone…well, I can't help but say that a lot of people will be suspicious."

"Speaking of suspicious, could you please have the decency to disguise that arm of yours when we go out, Ankh?" I asked, then ducked as the eggs hit the oiled pan, causing them to sizzle and spew oil in every direction possible.

_"No duh." _

"Thank you. Now, I believe it's time you practiced helping out around the house. We're not going to be cooking breakfast a lot at home, so you might as well learn how to make breakfast for yourself." Here I held out a spatula and waved it in Ankh's face. "Here you go. Today's lesson: How to Make Scrambled Eggs."

"You're not serious."

"Oh, but I am. Now grab this spatula and let's get cooking. And don't you dare complain. We are not _your_ servants. Only the cat will always be waited on hand and foot, since it doesn't have the ability to prepare its own meals."

"Grr."

"Don't growl, it's unsightly. Hurry and start moving the eggs around before they get solid and burnt."

To my delight, and Kristy's surprise, Ankh's scrambled eggs came out pretty good. They ended up slightly on the singed side because he spent about a minute complaining that as a monster he didn't have to do the work of humans, but still tasted okay. The only thing I didn't like, however, was the addition of a little too much salt, but other than that, breakfast wasn't too bad, and so I rated his work a B and noted he had put quite a bit of effort into making the meal.

"Put scallions and tuna in next time." I told him. "Just for variety. Maybe a bit of meat. That way we have adequate protein in our diets."

"Whatever." Ankh answered nonchalantly as he lifted his cup of milk to his lips. As he proceeded to taste cow's milk for the first time, I asked Kristy to pass the ketchup so I could squeeze another quarter sized amount of the stuff onto my plate.

"Mm." Kristy smiled with a mouth full of eggs and then drained what was left of her own milk in one go. "Done! Time to get ready for school. You guys had better hurry up, or we'll be late. Ankh, you're in Daniel's body so I'll expect you to go to his classes for him after you've had a chance to check out your—I mean Daniel's—dorm."

"Man, I can't believe we still have school." I said. "What's left of it, anyway."

"Just two more weeks, and we'll be free." She replied, grinning. "I can't wait to show Professor Tomodai the essays I wrote while in Japan."

"And I have to go to school newspaper office today to submit my photos. I'll meet you in the Library around five. Come find me in one of the private study rooms on the second floor."

"Sure."

"Hey, how come I have to come too?" Ankh interrupted. "Just because I'm using this human's body—"

"—doesn't mean you can make him fail to graduate. And don't forget to call his Mom once a week. Kristy says Mrs. Piers likes to know how her son's doing from time to time."

"Like I care about his mother!"

"Ankh—" I threw him a warning glance, and he immediately shut up, knowing it was pointless to argue. "We are not going to come straight out with the truth. If you revealed your true identity now, a lot of people's heads will spin. It's best to play along, at least until graduation."

"Which, lucky you, is just around the corner." Kristy added. "After that, we'll let you do whatever you want—as long as you promise to find yourself a job and help us pay the rent."

"Exactly."

"_This is stupid_. I suppose I have, yet again, no choice in the matter, right?"

"Right. Now, if you'll follow me to the bathroom, I'll bring out a couple of toothbrushes and toothpaste for you to choose from. Daniel's memories will help you know what you have to do with them. Come along, Bird Boy."

"Hey, don't call me that! The name's Ankh, Ankh!"

Ankh met me in the library later that day as planned, since Daniel, before being possessed by the bird-type Greeed, had been working with me to translate portions of an inscription found on the walls of the temple at Karnak, Egypt. Before arriving, however, he sent out a Taka Candroid he had brought with him from Japan with a note saying that he would be a little late because a girl told him he owed her $2.30 for buying a Snapple with her money, and he needed to pay her back first before coming over.

"PS. This is embarrassing." The note, written in Japanese, read. "I am sending this Candroid from the bathroom to avoid getting suspicious looks. The girl is yelling her head off—are humans usually this annoying?"

The postscript sounded funny, and I chuckled in response. After thanking the hawk shaped creature and watching it return to its Can Mode, I then went back to work, taking care to turn the thing around first so that it didn't look too much like a Coca Cola bottle and risk being taken by some unsuspecting guy who could enter the study room at any time. As I debated which vowels to use in order to spell King Nfrkpr's name, I then decided to do what every Egyptologist does when confronted with an situation like this, insert 'e's unless someone else says otherwise. So Nfrkpr was spelled Neferkepre and left at that.

The Greeed met me as he had promised around the chosen time with an armful of notes he had gathered from the drawers in Daniel's room. Using his host's memories and knowledge of Ancient Egyptian, he was able to put together a understandable but slightly incorrect translation of a poem dedicated to Amun-Ra, the king of the gods, and I had to correct it after going over the fine points of Egyptian grammar with him.

"Did you notice anything interesting while you were doing the translation?" I asked him in the middle of explaining the 'when in doubt, put e's in' rule that Egyptologists currently followed when attempting to reconstruct the five thousand year old language. Daniel already knew this, but Ankh wasn't too happy about having to constantly dive into his host's memories for the answers to the questions he had in his mind at the moment. "Before we go any further, do you have any questions, comments, anything at all regarding the subject?"

"It's interesting to see that my name has roots in this language." He answered, pointing to the Egyptian symbol of life I had drawn on a piece of paper. "And considering I am the only thing keeping this man alive, the name certainly fits."

"You are like, 800 years old." I reminded him. "If you could go up to an Ancient Egyptian right now, he or she would certainly say that you have received the ankh of the gods and thus eternal life."

"That's true. We Greeeds are immortal." Ankh answered. "That is, if we haven't been killed in a really violent way. Oh, did I mention we're near impossible to kill? The previous Kamen Rider OOO was powerful, but even he could only seal, not destroy, us. As beings made out of coins, we are by nature inorganic and not very susceptible to decay."

"If you're not careful, your Medals will rust." I warned him. "I guess that's why you guys don't mess around with water too much. And why I had to yell at you five times before you agreed to go into the shower in your human form last night."

"I don't _like_ (emphasis, not English in this case) taking showers, okay?" Ankh glared at me when he said this.

"Showers keep you clean. Besides, we don't want people telling each other to avoid Daniel Piers with a 10 foot pole because he smells so bad. And if you don't dunk yourself in the tub at least three times a week, I think Kristy and I might have to take drastic measures to prevent the apartment from stinking up too. Believe me, if we evict you, we're not going to change our minds about it. So unless you want Daniel Piers to be a homeless guy, you had better do as you're told. Until you get your full monstrous body back, showers are a must."

"Damn it."

"Now, shall we return to our work? Can I see what you've got for Temple Inscription 35-A?"

"According to my notes, the inscription reads as follows: "Hail, Isis, queen of the gods, smile down upon Egypt as thou hast done for years, so that this country may continue to receive thy blessing…"

"_Mashed potatoes, peas, and beef please for the two of us—Ouch!_" Ankh was in the middle of ordering dinner for us at the dining hall when a slightly overweight and rude African American freshman rudely shoved him out of the way and demanded to be served first. "Baka human! I was here first!"

"I'm heah, dahling, so move aside." The girl answered haughtily. "Wouldn't want ta hur' thah prettay face of yahs."

"The kid's right, you have to go to the back of the line and wait for your turn." A cafeteria manager who happened to witness the scene said. "Come with me, ma'am."

"Don't 'come with me' me, jerk." The girl shot back. When Ankh didn't move, she swung a meaty fist toward him in an effort to get him to move away from the plate one of the cafeteria ladies had prepared for him. However, she did not know that it was no longer meek and shy Daniel Piers who was standing in line in front of her, and yelped when this seemingly weak looking boy suddenly lashed out and grabbed her arm in a grip so strong, she thought her wrist bones would crack. "Ow, ow, ow! Securahty! Get 'his baoy off me!"

"_First, don't call me boy, it's insulting._" Ankh told her in a 'don't mess with me or you'll regret it' tone, and narrowed his eyes to show how annoyed he was with this crazy woman. "_Second, you cannot possibly hope to beat me, weak as I may seem at the moment, so don't try anything that you might regret later._"

"Um, Daniel, this might be a good time to back off before someone gets hurt for real. Drop her, now." I warned him, and Ankh shot me a exasperated look before reluctantly letting go of the woman's hand. As expected the girl began screaming as soon as she was released, but the manager of the dining staff knew that Ankh had done nothing wrong, and ended up calling security to throw her out instead of the Greeed.

Later we would learn that her dining privileges had been revoked for a month. Ankh was not the first person she had pushed aside to get food without bothering to wait in line, and this was the last straw, according to the manager, who had received numerous complaints already about this 'onna no baka' (idiot woman), as Ankh took to calling her for weeks afterward (Greeeds apparently can hold grudges for a long time).

As we watched a whole group of police take away the kicking and screaming girl, I turned to Ankh with a sigh of relief. "Glad that worked out okay. I'm just happy you didn't use too much force in this situation."

"Humph. I would have liked to teach that onna a lesson." Ankh answered in Japanese, causing people to give us funny looks in response. "_What are you all looking at? It's a free country right? I can speak whatever language I want, and there's no rule that says everyone must talk in English. Right?_"

"True," someone now called out from the back of the line. "But Dan, why are you speaking a language that you have never taken courses on in your entire life?"

It turned out that the speaker who had answered Ankh's question was Daniel's friend, who had lost contact with him after the night he was attacked by gangsters. Naturally, the first thing he wanted to know was why Ankh had not returned any of the twenty calls he had made to him afterwards, but the two of us declined to answer the question truthfully.

"If your battery died, I like, totally understand." The guy said. "But it's been like, days now. You never keep that cell phone off more than a day, so why do it now?" As he asked this I saw Ankh instinctively reach into his pocket to see if his iPhone4 was still there. "Hmm?"

"_I dunno._" Ankh answered. "_I guess I'm not really interested in keeping that phone anymore._"

"Did you get a new phone, then?" The guy, whose name was Brian Comber, wanted to know.

In response, Ankh smirked, and I nearly had a heart attack when he held up the iPhone4 for everyone to see. "_I got this, see. Very useful human tool, the iPhone. It's been a godsend, in a way_." He then turned it on to show Brian that it was working.

"Oh." Said Brian. After the information sank in, his eyes lit up, and he grinned from ear to ear. "Cool beans. I never thought you would like Apple products, you being a AT&T fan and all, but an iPhone4 is like, the best thing on the planet right now."

"He's got an iPad too, now that we're on the subject." I said, hoping to get this conversation over with, but Brian was now even more intrigued and unwilling to let us go to a table and eat in peace.

"An iPad too! Dude, that makes us even closer pals now! You have _got_ to show me all the apps you've got on that thing!"

"No, he's not going to show off his new toys right now and boy, are we gonna be late for class if you keep bothering us." I said while turning Ankh around so that he was now facing the seating area of the cafeteria. "It was nice meeting you, by the way. See you around, Brian."

"No, wait, I want to hear more about your new love for Apple products!" Brian wailed, but I was already dragging Ankh away as fast as I could toward the southernmost corner of the dining hall.

"Like I'd believe that!" Ankh snapped later that evening above the sound of a can of Fancy Feast opening. This was for our cat, who was sitting on the kitchen floor and pacing around restlessly as she waited to be fed. "There's no way they could be here this quickly."

"Your iPad says otherwise." I told him, and held it up so he could see a yellow dot heading toward our part of the neighborhood. "Looks like one of your friends is looking to pay you a visit."

"Kazari, that double-crossing bastard." The Greeed growled. After using a pair of chopsticks to dump as much of the Fancy Feast into Bast's bowl as best as he could, he tossed the can into the trash and began heading for the door. "Stay here. I'll head him off."

"Shouldn't I go with you?" I asked him. "I don't want you getting hurt."

"Are you serious? Look, if I need help, I'll call." Ankh replied, and tossed me a green soda can. "The Batta Candroid acts as a walkie-talkie, so if I activate mine, I should be able to contact you from a distance."

"That's good. Make sure you actually use it if you're in danger, okay?"

"What's it with you women and need to address safety issues?" Ankh asked angrily while bending over to slip on a pair of Daniel's sneakers."Just because I'm merely an arm right now doesn't mean I'm helpless."

"Sorry, I'm just naturally protective of people I know. Just…whatever you do, try to come home in one piece."

"Like that'll be hard. Kazari's not dumb, but I can take that dastardly cat. Uva, on the other hand, is someone to avoid at all costs." Ankh then opened the door, allowing bright sunlight to stream into the apartment. "I'm off."

"Take care!" I called back, only to be answered with a loud bang as the door slammed shut behind him.

Once out of the apartment, Ankh went down the steps leading up to the front door and turned the corner to hike up a steep hill that Acorn Hill Road was situated on, all the while keeping an eye on his Greeed Searcher App installed on his iPhone. When contemplating where to go next, an old lady wearing a dark black dress came up to him and pressed a button on the streetlight beside the two of them, then turned to admire his looks.

"My, what a handsome young lad you are." She said. "My eyes may not be as sharp as they once were, but I know a good-looking boy when I see one." She chuckled then, and lifted a finger to point at a sturdy oak tree on the other side of the road. "I would like to cross the road, but am afraid of doing so alone. Normally my granddaughter accompanies me to the market, but today she's apparently busy. Children these days are so interested in technology, they don't even know how to communicate face-to-face with actual people anymore. Like you, they glue their eyes to screens and refuse to acknowledge the real world around them."

"I see." Ankh answered absentmindedly, as his thoughts were still on Kazari and what he thought the cat Greeed might do to him or the girls he lived with if word ever got out that he was planning to make one of us the next OOO.

"So, if it's all right with you, could you please escort me across the street? I hate to rely on strangers, but I am certainly not very comfortable walking alone down the street anymore. I cannot hear very well, and sometimes these crazy youths run people over."

Ankh looked at her, then watched as the 'don't walk' sign blinked off and the word 'walk' flashed on a digital screen on the other side of the road. Using her cane for support, the old lady gave Ankh one last look and began hobbling toward the road, since she thought he wasn't going to help her at all. Seeing that she was so slow, the Greeed contemplated helping her cross, but he didn't have to do that, because a second later a miniature gust of yellow colored wind blew her across the street. Thankfully the wind wasn't very strong, and she somehow landed safely on the other side and into the arms of a very helpful, kind and caring couple on the other side of the road.

The bushes rustled then, and a silver haired young man wearing a Yankees baseball cap and a yellow and black checkered shirt with blue jeans emerged from the forage. He grinned evilly at the old lady before turning his attention to Ankh, whose eyes kept looking from his iPhone4 to him until a mental connection was made between the two.

"Kazari?"

"Long time no see, Ankh." The man, who had now been identified as Kazari answered. "So you live around here, huh?"

"What's it to you?" Ankh answered. His hand changed form and he pocketed the iPhone before pointing a clawed index finger covered in green glittery nail polish at his former comrade. "What do you want, anyway?"

"I'm just giving you another chance to be my friend again. Nothing to it, right?" Kazari asked him. "I know you told me last time that humans are more honest with their feelings, but are they really? Humans are capable of lying too."

"Eiji never lied to me, and he, despite being very simple-minded, was reliable and could be counted on to get things done right if asked. On the other hand, Kazari, I don't know how many times you have double-crossed me. How can I ever trust you again?"

"Aw c'mon." replied Kazari, and he sat down on a stone barrier separating the sidewalk from a blueberry bush growing beneath an apple tree close to the pedestrian crossing. "Can't we just, like the humans say, _bury the hatchet_? There's no need to get mad or anything."

Ankh grunted, then looked away and appeared to be lost in thought. After a few seconds he turned back to Kazari. "What's the catch?"

"Forget about OOO. If you're looking for a replacement for that human you teamed up with in Japan, you can stop. Just hand me the Lion Medal in your possession, and you're free to go. I will make sure that Uva and Mezuru and Gamel leave you alone for a while in return for one Core Medal."

"Without OOO to help me get enough Cell Medals to help me rebuild my body, teaming up with you will be worthless." Ankh answered. "Besides, the girls I'm living with right now may be a little too strict for my liking, but they too are honest, decent beings. I'll give them this much credit, at least."

"So you would choose to defy us? Fine. But just so you know, I too can be honest if I want to be. Look, I managed to snitch this from that Gamel oaf when no-one was looking." Kazari then reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver medal with a gold rim. Using his hawk eyes, Ankh was able to tell that it was a Elephant Core Medal. "You want this? Then give me all of Mezuru's Medals instead of the Lion Medal. I think I'll let you keep that for now. What is OOO going to be able to do with the lady's Medals, anyway?"

"Are you serious?" Ankh let out a snort of contempt as he ran a hand through his hair. "Have you forgotten our true nature, Kazari? We're Greeed. We aren't supposed to know the meaning of the words 'compromise' or 'share', or even '_give and take_'."

"Give Mezuru's Medals to me, or I'll send out a Yummy out to terrorize the town." Kazari's eyes glinted dangerously when he said this. He turned around then, and grabbed a homeless man off the blanket he was sitting on before wrapping an arm around the poor tramp's throat. "This guy wants money, doesn't he? Should I turn him into one of my parasitic Yummies, you would be helpless, since you have not yet chosen the next OOO, who is the only person capable of defeating us. And I don't think these girls would want to hurt him, bless their poor souls. So there."

Ankh growled in response upon hearing Kazari present this not so favorable compromise—this plan would deprive him of four Core Medals and he would only gain one in return—but he had the feeling that unless he agreed to the other Greeed's proposal, things could go very badly. He could not be sure I or Kristy would be willing to fight as OOO, and even if we did agree to help him save the world, we wouldn't want to hurt anyone, least of all homeless beggars. After what seemed like ages, he decided the loss of four Core Medals was worth it because Gamel's Medal would give OOO a better advantage in fights, and held out his Greeed arm, palm up, toward Kazari.

"Take them then!" he yelled angrily, as if doing so would relieve him of the pressure that the devious cat had put upon him, and Kazari grinned when he caught the Medals that Ankh had just spewed from his hand. "Do with them what you will, and leave me alone!"

"Now this is more like it." Kazari now put the scared man he had held 'hostage' none too gently back on his blanket and simply smirked when the man, at a loss for words, blubbered incoherently, and waved his arms at the strange young man who had used him as a bargaining chip in a conversation he couldn't understand. The part of the blanket that the tramp was sitting on then slowly turned a darker shade of blue, and the cat Greeed stepped back in disgust when he realized the former hostage had just wet himself with fear. "Ugh! Humans are so disgusting."

"Maybe you shouldn't have scared him." Ankh answered nonchalantly from his position next to a nearby vendor cart, and he raised his now human right arm toward Kazari to remind him that there was still one part of the deal not resolved. "This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't decided to hold the person hostage in the first place." After paying the man in charge of the food cart with some money he had found in Daniel's wallet, he held up a hot dog toward the Greeed. "They call this a _hot dog_. Want one?"

"No thanks. Here's your Medal." So saying, Kazari tossed the Elephant Medal into the air, and Ankh rushed over to get it before coming back to the cart to receive his change. The two Greeeds then glared at each other one last time before parting ways.

Professor Dawson's eyes glittered in delight as his gaze fell upon a poor hapless teenager sleeping on his binder in the front row of his religious theory class.

"Ah ha!" he cried out, startling the freshman so badly his butt left his seat for a moment. "Dave! Please, enlighten us. Why can't we define God? Why can't we say that the Big Mac, for instance, is God, since we're on the topic of why everybody loves McDonald's so much? What's wrong with defining God as 'two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun'?"

"Because it's food?" The extremely sleepy student replied, even as his head began to droop once again.

"Exactly! God isn't food. So what is he?"

"Nonexistent." Ankh answered in a monotone, causing Professor Dawson himself to jump out of his seat.

"Score! Daniel, you win an A for the day. This is exactly what Dawkins in his book _The God Delusion_ was trying to tell his readers. Did you by chance read the entire book?"

"Do I look it?" Ankh answered, and Professor Dawson smiled.

"Sure do, son. Now, on to tonight's homework…"


	2. Ruined by a Rhino

Episode 1: A Student, Bad Professors, and A New Hero

George Tyson groaned loudly as he looked at his homework, which lay on the table in front of him. The due date, which was five days from now, had been bolded and underlined on the top of the assignment. He wished he could skip doing it in favor of going out to the movies with his girlfriend, but sighed and began typing the essay up despite having reservations about doing it.

"Still, Professor Larson is a kind of mean, making us do this assignment so soon after Spring Break." He said to himself. At that moment, as if to spite him, a small GI Joe figure chose to fall off the shelf and knock off a small replica of a US Army tank. George grumbled when he saw this mess, because he hated having to fix such fragile models, and after he was sure that no more action figures would be falling in every direction on their shelves above his laptop and work area he returned to the Microsoft Word document he had opened on top of the Firefox window, which was currently playing one of the opening themes from his favorite anime, Gundam 00.

George worked feverishly into the night, not even bothering to note what time it was until his stomach rumbled, reminding him that he had missed dinner. It was now 6:30 and the dining hall would be packed with students seeking a hot meal after a long day at school. So he decided, after debating whether or not to stand in a long line at the entrance to the dining hall, to eat in his dorm instead. After opening the window a crack to let in the cool spring air, he walked out of his room and opened the fridge to take out a package of ready-made sushi.

The sushi, having been the fridge all afternoon, was very cold, and the junior first placed it in the microwave to warm it up. As the smell of crab meat and soy sauce slowly permeated the entire first floor of the Townhouse he was living in, George was only dimly aware of a sudden cold breeze coming in from the open window. The microwave soon beeped to let the junior know his dinner was ready, and he whistled a happy tune as he took the sushi and a pair of chopsticks and headed back to his room to eat.

After locking the door behind him, George headed for his desk chair so he could surf the Internet while eating his dinner, but someone was sitting in it. The chair was now occupied by a dark Asian youth with a gray shirt and dark pants. He was staring intently at the computer screen, which had an open MS Word document with the words "I HATE PROF LARSON" written on it in big bold letters.

"You hate teacher?" the visitor asked, and George, after getting over his shock upon seeing someone in his room, nodded.

"Professor Larson's okay, but he really asks for too much sometimes." He said. "I wish he would give us all extensions. I can't finish this essay in five days—the whole assignment is going to be fifteen pages long!"

"I can help with that." As George watched, the person sitting in his chair reached a hand into his jeans pocket to pull out a small silver medallion with a rhino design on one side and an X shaped design on the other. Then, to his shock, a coin slot suddenly appeared on the dude's forehead, and without so much of a grimace the mysterious stranger tossed the coin into the slot, complete with a ka-ching sound as the coin hit something inside of the slot. Similar coins then covered the entire person's body, and George yelped as the human was replaced with a monster whose head sported elephant tusks and small rhino horns. Its legs were reminiscent of elephant feet.

George was even more surprised when another creature sprouted from the monster's back. After crawling on the floor for a bit, this new monster stood upright, and George nearly fainted upon seeing this humanoid armored monster with features of a rhino—a very mean rhino. Instead of blunt teeth, it had sharp fangs sticking out over its lower lip, and every limb had horns protruding from its gray skin. It had piggy pink eyes and seemed to rely more on smell than it did its sight, because it took some steps toward George and sniffed him all over before appearing to be satisfied.

The first monster had by now disappeared and been replaced by the mysterious stranger.

"What is that thing?" George asked, as the stranger walked over to him and began wolfing down his sushi. He tried backing up and snatching the sushi away, but the stranger frowned when he did this, so he let the teenager finish the rest of his dinner. "And why are you eating my food? You can go buy your own at the Go-Mart here on campus."

"Food is good." The guy replied. "My Yummy will go get Professor for you."

"Er, what? That thing won't last a minute past Campus Police if you let it loose."

"It is a Rhino Yummy born of your desire. No, born from my desire to see your desire come true."

"Y-Yummy?"

"Yes, that is its name. I am Gamel. My Yummy will now destroy Professor for you."

"Hey wait, your Yummy thing can't just waltz into class and get—OY!" George whirled when he saw the Rhino Yummy suddenly charge toward the locked door. Not wanting to have to pay for any damages, he quickly opened the door to let the monster out, but seconds later a loud crash told him that the monster had messed up the Townhouse after all. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! That thing did not just punch a monster sized hole in the lounge room wall! This is going to be one expensive work order, man. Hang on, I'll go call Campus Police. Animal Control needs to round up that thing, and fast."

"Why?" asked Gamel, tilting his head in confusion. "What's Animal Control?"

Hearing this, George slapped his head and reached into his pocket for his cell phone. After finding the right number in his address book he let the phone ring a couple of times before noting it had been picked up on the other end of the line and put it to his ear. "Chief Nelson, there's something I think you should know—"

Professor Larson was in his office, grading the latest stack of papers he had received from his students the Friday before, when he happened to hear a couple of loud shrieks coming from the history department office down the hall. Then a familiar voice—Professor Bender?—yelled for security to come and "take away this hooligan of a student attempting a crazy prank," only to join the chorus of shrieks when someone bellowed like a wounded animal over the sound of breaking wood.

Heavy footsteps could now be heard as whatever had scared the faculty members in their cozy little office headed in a whole new direction. Judging by the loudness of the noise with every step, Professor Larson thought it was heading in his direction and quickly closed the door, hoping whoever was out there would leave him alone. But the footsteps only grew louder, and he winced as that something roared just outside his door. To his surprise, a gruff voice called out to him soon after his ears began ringing as a result.

"Are you Professor Larson?" the mysterious voice asked in heavily accented English. The speaker also sounded like he was talking with his mouth full, so Professor Larson asked him to repeat the question before he finally understood, and nodded.

"Yes I am. Do you need something?"

"You!" the voice answered. He heard the heavy footsteps recede a bit, and before he knew it the door exploded and a strange creature that looked like a rabid humanoid rhino with fangs instead of normal rhino teeth, complete with huge ham-sized fists that were in addition covered with metal armor burst into the room. "Hate Professor Larson!"

"Holy shamoley, what did you just do to my door?" Professor Larson wanted to know, but the monster only roared at him in reply. "Oh man. Where's my Blackberry? I need to notify police."

Without further ado, Professor Larson reached into his pocket for the Blackberry he always carried around in case someone called him while he was at the College and quickly speed dialed 1 to get the attention of Campus Police. A friendly woman answered him, but she never got to finish greeting her caller, because almost as soon as she said 'good evening' the Rhino Yummy lowered its oversized rhino head and charged, breaking through the table and driving its foot-long horn deep into the human's shoulder, causing him to scream loudly as the horn crushed bone and broke skin, tissue, and blood vessels alike before being withdrawn carelessly, causing more damage than it had during the actual goring.

Soon after Professor Larson had been gored by the bloodthirsty monster, almost all the history professors in the vicinity of their colleague's office rushed to his aid. The monster turned upon seeing the first of these professors arrive at the scene, and managed to make a getaway. Nobody stopped it, as they were just too shocked to move when he came charging out of the room with a bloody horn on his head, until their injured friend and fellow professor demanded that first aid be administered to his shoulder immediately. The local EMS team was soon notified of the emergency, and the history department secretary ordered someone to find the building janitor, who arrived as soon as she could with a first aid kit, which contained much needed bandages. Professor Larson was luckily alive and kicking after the attack, though he found it hard to speak because the pain in his shoulder overwhelmed him. He did, however, tell everyone that the monster was the one who had broken the door, and that he had been in the middle of a call with Campus Police when the attack occurred.

"The medical team is on their way." Said the friendly woman who had answered the phone earlier. The phone was still connected so the police could document the incident. The speaker function had been activated so that everyone on both sides of the line could hear. "But sir, are you sure it was a giant gray rhino thingy that attacked you?"

"It was shaped like a rhino, but no rhino I've ever seen, on TV or otherwise, walked on two legs, was humanoid in shape, and had fangs in place of regular teeth." Professor Larson answered, stopping every couple of words to wince as the tight bandages were wrapped around his shoulder. "I'm not sure if it was a student in disguise, or a real monster."

"We'll try to find this monster right away, sir." The woman answered. "Hang in there."

"Oh, I'm hanging." Professor Larson replied with a grin, and tried to sit up, but his colleagues noted he was still bleeding and told him to lie down to minimize further loss of blood. "Is it just me, or am I feeling a little lightheaded?"

"There's a hole in your shoulder and you're losing tons of blood." Professor Weinstein observed. "Keep applying pressure, everyone!"

"Yes!" everyone else chorused, and some sat down to pray as they all waited for the EMS team to come take their wounded friend and colleague to the local hospital.

After being tipped off by George and notified of Professor Larson's injuries by professors in the History department via a campus wide email, Campus Police deployed almost instantly following reports of a monster running wild on campus so that they could apprehend it. While most patrol vehicles went out in search of the creature, some police officers stopped by George's Townhouse to check up on everyone in the vicinity and make sure the students were safe.

Meanwhile, Ankh, Kristy, and I were crowded around a Ride Vendor that had mysteriously been installed on the first floor of Evans Hall. Due to a lack of knowledge of how these things really worked, it had been labeled as 'broken' by a member of the dining hall staff and a big "OUT OF ORDER, DO NOT USE" sign subsequently slapped to its front.

"'Do not use', huh?" I asked, as Ankh began tearing off the copious amounts of tape that held the sign in place, and produced a Cell Medal from my pocket. A little while ago we had argued over who would become OOO and Kristy had agreed to let me be the heroine, since she hated fighting and couldn't bear to think of lifting even a finger against such a dangerous monster running on campus. Not to mention that she had not even the slightest clue how to do even the most basic karate moves. (Ankh, being a Greeed, had sensed the Yummy almost as soon as it had been "born" in George's room a while ago and had sent out a Taka Candroid to find the two of us, which is why we knew about the current situation on campus and had had the argument.) "Let's cash this cow."

"Make sure that when you engage the Yummy you get more Cell Medals than you can actually use in a single day." Ankh reminded me as I was about to put the Cell Medal in the coin slot. Had he known we were going to be fighting Gamel's Yummy he wouldn't have said that (you'll see why in a few pages or so), but he didn't have the ability to sense what kind of monster was currently causing a big sensation on campus, at least not yet. "These things aren't free."

"Wait, they're not?" Kristy asked, and her eyes widened when the coin went into the machine and hit the unseen bottom with a loud clatter. "Oh silly me, this is a vending machine. Of course things in vending machines aren't free." She then watched as I punched a button underneath the Batta Candroid. The Candroid fell down from its assigned slot and into a compartment below so I could reach past a plastic hinged door and retrieve it while an automated voice coming from a hidden speaker in the Ride Vendor said 'Batta Can' in Japanese accented English. "Here you go. Your very own walkie-talkie. Keep in touch with me and Ankh if you need to, especially if you get attacked. We'll be by your side in a jiffy if things get a little rough."

"So I just open it like this to activate it?" Kristy asked, and without further ado she popped the pull tab on the top of the Candroid, allowing it to transform into its animal mode. After seeing what kind of animal it really was, she let it drop to the ground as if it was a poisonous snake. "Ugh, it's a bug! Get it away, get it away!"

"Aw, it's so cute." I said, scooping up the grasshopper and taking a few moments to pet it before telling it to return to its Can Mode. "Geez, Kristy, it won't bite. It doesn't even have a mouth!"

"But you know I hate bugs! Good Lord, isn't there another Candroid that can do the same thing as this one can?" (Wow, that's a lot of 'can's in one sentence.)

"Well, this one is perfectly harmless." I answered, and shoved the Batta can into her hand even though she screeched "Eww!" at the top of her lungs and tried to drop it once more. I then faced the vending machine again to make it eject a yellow and silver colored Tora Candroid in its Can Mode. "According to police reports, there's a Yummy in town, so we might need a Combo to take it down. Ratoratah and Toridevendor should do the trick."

"That's _another_ Cell Medal down the drain, isn't it?" Ankh now piped up, causing me to jump a little, since he had been so quiet the past couple of minutes that I thought he had left. "Geez, woman, don't waste these things! I need all the Cell Medals you can spare if I want my body back!"

"Chill, Bird Boy, don't get your feathers all in a bunch." I answered while inserting yet _another_ Cell Medal—causing Ankh to scream bloody murder—and pushing the big prominent black button just below the vending machine window. A electronic whir was then heard, and I pushed Kristy away before the vending machine could fall on her after transforming into a motorcycle. "Cool beans. My own sweet ride."

"Don't let people see you've parked that thing in here." Kristy warned me as I began fondling the bike as if it was the most precious thing on Earth. "Might want to take it outside before you start drooling over it like a little kid on Christmas morning."

Hearing this, I immediately stopped ogling the "sweet ride" and grinned sheepishly before grabbing the handlebars of the motorcycle and steering it toward the direction of the door. "Right, right. Sorry about that. But man, this thing is so _cool!_"

"You know what would really be sick?" I heard Ankh say sarcastically behind me. "If, by the time you're done using my Cell Medals by the end of the day, the only thing that's left of me is a mere finger! Yeah, that'll be cool!"

Hearing this, I turned to give the Greeed a look which indicated I was quite exasperated by his complaining by now. "Oh, please don't be such a drama king." At this point we reached the door and I made sure the entire bike was a good distance away from the automatic doors before sitting astride it and making sure that the helmet that had been hanging off of one of the bike's handlebars was secured properly on my head. The engine started almost instantly after I placed my feet in their proper footrests on either side of the seat, and I was soon shooting down the sidewalk. "_Whoa_! Geez, where are the brakes on this thiiiiinnnnggggg—!"

The Rhino Yummy growled loudly as it walked out, bloody horn and all, out of the Science Building. After fulfilling George's desire to see Professor Larson be "punished" somehow, it was now going berserk since no more orders were given. But what a sight greeted its piggy little eyes!

A lot of policemen had gathered at the entrance to meet it with guns drawn and sirens wailing. But before any of the officers could fire at will after being told to make be ready to shoot the creature down my Ride Vendor screeched to a stop beside a patrol car parked beside a mulberry bush to the side of the gate leading into the Science Building Courtyard.

Another screech followed, signaling Ankh and Kristy's arrival at the scene as well. Some officers gave us suspicious looks as we approached, but when the three of us made no move to confront the creature ourselves at first, their Chief of Police just shrugged, told us to stay out of harm's way, and gave the command to fire.

The sound of gunshots then rang out as all fifteen officers in the area fired their weapons at once. The monster roared as the bullets were pounded into him, but his armor was merely dented, and then only slightly. A chip of horn broke as a result of a couple of the bullets bouncing off its surface, but that was it.

"Gamel's Yummy, huh?" Ankh commented. "Damn, we're not going to get a lot of Cell Medals from this guy."

"Why not?" I asked. "I thought you said they're made up of these things?"

"Not every Yummy though. Gamel's a simple-minded fool, and the Yummy is born from him rather than the human who holds a desire. So it's going to be more powerful than the average Yummy—Gamel's the heavy animal type of Greeed—but won't net you much of a profit if you're going Medal hunting because its parent is so narrow-minded, its drive to fulfill a desire isn't very strong and therefore it will produce little to no Medals."

"I see. But Ankh, if you want me to kill this thing, we better hurry. The police aren't going to be able to stop a charging rhino."

"I know that! But first, you'll have to break the Seal." The Greeed then shook its arm to reveal a strange stone from his wrist. It was rectangular in shape, but had circular patterns on it. "After I told Eiji to give this back to me, I said a spell that would prevent someone else from using it. Here, take it. I don't know if it'll work, but we could always try." With that, he slapped the strange object onto my stomach, causing me to let out a grunt of surprise.

"Oof! Geez, man, you didn't have to do it so hard…ack!" At this point I noticed that the stone had somehow changed into a mechanical belt of some sort. "Uh, what is this?"

"It's called the OOO Driver. Huh, so it works. In that case, take these too." Ankh then shook out three different colored Core Medals, one of which was the Taka Medal he had shown me and Kristy a couple of weeks ago. "Eiji normally puts in the Taka Medal, then the Batta, and finally the Tora. That means the Medals go in right, left, and center in that order, but you can put them in the belt in whatever order you would like. However, to activate the transformation sequence, you have to take that circular Scanner currently snapped on the right side of your belt and scan each Medal from right to left. This part can't be reversed or anything like that, so don't you dare try scanning it in the other direction or you'll screw this whole thing up."

"Like this?" After following Ankh's instructions on how to load the belt, I then scanned the belt using the provided Scanner and was surprised when it started singing…or rather, rapping.

"Ta-to-ba!" It said in a male robotic voice. "Ta-to-ba, Ta-to-ba!"

"Tatoba? Ankh, is it just me, or did this thing just rap out a beat?"

"Never mind the song. Now get going. I'll let you know if I think you're ready for a Combo, as these things pack a punch, and you need to practice with Tatoba form first."

"Uh, um, how does this thing work?"

"_Good God, woman!_" It was at this moment that Ankh really ran out of patience and spun me around rapidly so that I was soon facing an enraged Yummy, who was screaming "KILL POLICE!" at the top of its lungs. "Just think about what you want to do, and the suit will respond. Eiji was dumber than you, but at least he was quick to take action and not ask too many questions."

"O-Okay. I'll do my best. But seriously, how _do_ you work this thing? Like, do I have to call out Tiger Claw power or something?"

As if on cue, the huge folded up claws attached to the yellow armor on my wrists suddenly sprang forward to cover the backs of my hands. After running my hand over the weapons, I realized just how sharp the claws really were and whistled a tune of disbelief. "Gosh, you could really deal some serious damage with these things."

"Just do it!" Ankh finally yelled while I was taking a closer look at the mechanism that had caused the claws to spring forward, and I got the message. Without bothering to ask him for the umpteenth time how something worked I just ran forward and began slashing away like a madwoman. "That's it! Now you're getting it."

"But will she be okay?" Kristy wanted to know as I grabbed the Rhino's horn and started bashing its face with my fist, which quickly became sore because the Yummy's armor was hard to crack.

_"Well, if she messes up and dies here, it's not my problem. I'm not the one fighting, that's for sure."_

"Wow, maybe Michelle was right about you. You're such a self-centered, egoistic, desire-oriented person."

_"Hey, I just so happen to be born from a swirling cauldron of wicked desire. I can't help but be greedy, okay? It's our nature."_

Hearing this, Kristy winced, and she didn't say anything back, because the boy who used to be her boyfriend was now acting so insanely absurd, she didn't feel like she could talk with him again for a while.

"Ouch! Ankh, a little help here! This guy's tough!" While Kristy and Ankh were talking the Rhino Yummy had tried to charge me and managed to push me to the ground.

"Switch the middle Medal with this!" The Greeed called back, and I fought the urge to puke as a Kamikiri (Mantis) Core Medal flew through the air towards me. "It might make things a little easier."

"But I don't like mantises, they freak me out!"

"Kisama—! Just put the Medal in the belt and get moving!"

"Was that an insult—OW! Watch where you're aiming that horn, you big perissodactyl! Didn't your mother ever tell you that girls are delicate?"

"Kill OOO! Kill police! Punish everybody!" The Rhino Yummy answered, not at all sorry that he had just stomped on me while I was trying to reach the green colored Medal lying a few inches from a rain gutter on the sidewalk. After rolling away from him before his giant foot could come down on me a second time I managed to shove the Kamikiri Medal in the middle slot after tossing the Tora Medal back towards Ankh despite feeling pain every time I moved. Doctors would later tell me that the pain was because I got stomped on a little too hard, and my muscles were bruised.

"Ow, ow, ow…okay, I got this." I said, and followed Ankh's subsequent directions to scan the Medals again after I had done so the second time to activate the new combination's Scanning Charge finishing attack. After watching my mantis-like wrist mounted blades glow green and become slightly larger and sharper, I charged toward the monster and winced in pain as it blew up after being knocked backwards into a tree. "Did I do it?"

"Good work." Was all Ankh said after I handed over the single Cell Medal the Yummy had yielded while exploding, and I rolled my eyes at him as he rode off with it and Kristy using the RideVendor, leaving me alone with a flaming tree to my left and a bunch of officers shooting a million questions at my still transformed self standing next to a small crater the Rhino Yummy had made in the ground while he was rampaging.

"Hey, you can't leave me here like this. Oh man, what do I do? Um, sorry guys, but I gotta go." With that, I returned to my own RideVendor and, while babbling apologies left, right, and center, left the scene.

George laughed nervously as he faced the police officer writing some observations in his small notepad in front of the wall-turned rubble in the Townhouse East area of campus. "I swear I have no clue how this monster came to be." He said. "It was just weird. One minute I'm talking to this guy, and next thing I know—poof! This rhino thing comes out from behind the stranger and charges out my door. I didn't do a thing."

"Let me get this straight son. You were talking with someone one minute and next thing you know the monster appeared?"

"Yes sir."

"Do you have any idea if this person you were talking to is a fellow student? Did he identify himself in any way?"

"Well, he did say his name was Gamel, and that the rhino thingy was called a Yummy, and also that it was born from my desire. No, he didn't say if he was a student though. Now before you ask, I swear I didn't summon the thing directly. I just told G-man I hated Professor Larson…oh no. Something happened to Professor Larson, right?"

"Well, to put it simply, your professor won't be grading any homework any time soon. He's not dead, but I heard he was bleeding quite severely. Apparently the monster gored him."

"Oh. My. God."

"So in a way, you have indirectly brought trouble not only to yourself, but to your classmates as well. Now that you've admitted to—indirectly—unleashing the monster, you face being subject to disciplinary actions. On the other hand, you will have a substitute professor teaching the course, and so your homework will be due to that person. No extensions will be given."

"Crap."

"As for the monster, it has been put down. Some crazy kid in spandex got in front of Chief Nelson and blew it up in our faces. Our guns didn't do much damage to it, so it's a good thing someone else was there to finish the job. But whoever this person is, though, I wish they really wouldn't place themselves in such danger like that. It's our job as police officers to protect the community, and we can't rely too much on the efforts of a hot-headed individual. Not to mention that person deliberately put themselves in the line of fire and it could have ended badly."

"Spandex? Oh cool, so Power Rangers _are_ real. I gotta meet them."

"Uh kid, I said it was just one person in spandex. She's likely female, judging by the voice."

"Was it the Pink Ranger?"

"*Sigh* There's no stopping you, eh, Tyson? Tell you what, you can believe what you want. Besides, I need to continue this investigation. So. You take care of yourself, all right? For now, just hurry up and get ready to move out. I hear they're reassigning you to a room in Eickhoff Hall. It's too dangerous to live here now; the walls still standing could collapse at any moment."

"Yes sir." George gave the officer a mock salute before rushing off to do as he was told.

The next day, Kristy and I met at the library so we could mull over a particularly confusing Venn Diagram highlighting the similarities and differences between the Cold War and the Red Scare of the early 20th century. We understood that they were both fueled by a fear of Communism, but the author of the text that accompanied the Venn Diagram was an expert so engrossed in his field, we found it hard to decipher his words into plain, everyday English. The fact that we were looking up unknown words like 'paradigm' in the dictionary every five minutes or so didn't help manners at all. And Ankh, as usual, wasn't being of much help. Instead of taking a copy of the text for himself and trying to assist us in our school work, he was tossing the Taka Candroid (in can mode) from one hand to the other, looking very bored. An iPad lay on the table beside him and was currently displaying a 3D model of his missing Peacock Core Medal. If he was doing anything of note, it was researching the latest achievements and leaked reports from the Kougami Foundation.

"Um Ankh, we have a five page paper on the Cold War due soon." I reminded him after noticing that he didn't look like he was going to stop playing with the Candroid anytime soon. "You might want to start writing now or Daniel Piers will get a 0 in the Professor's grade-book 2 days from now."

_"Pfft! Greeeds don't need to study. Or write. Or do anything that is not related to the cultivation of desire."_

"Dude, that's just wrong. You're in Daniel's body. He often gets straight A's. You keep his grades up or you'll be found out by his parents. Now get to work, and make sure you do a good job of it. Use his memories to help you craft your answers."

"Tch!" Ankh's lips twitched in irritation when he heard me lecture him on the importance of keeping up his—or rather Daniel's—grades. _"Who are you to tell me what I should desire?"_

"You get those A's or I'll call Mrs. Piers myself and tell you you've been a naughty boy. Now get to work."

_ "To tell you the truth, I've had it with the boring student life—"_

"Still 4 more days till the end of the school semester. Then we have finals. If you can make it until the 18th of May, I'll let you have all the ice candy you want."

Ankh, who was not interested in what I had to say, suddenly perked up the moment he heard 'ice candy' a.k.a. popsicles come out of my mouth.

_"Huh. Really?"_

"Yes, we'll buy three packages of them when they go on sale next week, but only if you get an A on your next paper by Monday."

"Tch!" Ankh's lips twitched again and he clucked his tongue loudly before standing up and placing the Taka Candroid over my stack of class notes. I glared at him for doing this, since my eyes had been scanning them in preparation for an upcoming test, but he didn't bother to move the thing even after I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes in exasperation in response to his unruly behavior. _"I'm in. So. I guess I had better get started, then." _

"Yes, please. There's a computer lab downstairs you can use. And while you're battling writer's block, try not to injure anyone, will you? The last thing I want is a school newspaper article about a floating hand attacking faculty and students alike because you got mad at someone whistling or something while you're working." Here I lowered my voice a little, because I didn't want the people sitting next to us to hear what I was about to say. "I'm already in the paper because some guy snapped a photo of me riding the RideVendor back to Evans Hall while I was still in Takakiriba form. Really, I can't stand the publicity."

"Fine, I'll try to restrain myself. If I happen to stir up any commotion in the library, I will claim full responsibility."

"Such as paying the hospital bills of your victims?"

"Tch! _As if I will do that!_ Do I look like I'm made out of money? Besides, if the weak humans get hurt, it's not my fault. You might as well blame _them_ for being unable to stand up to people with superhuman strength."

"Well, do Medals count as money? We do use them as if they were actual coins for those RideVendors. And you _did_ just swear to take full responsibility, so that would imply that you will accept the blame for everything that goes wrong down there. And not too many people possess superhuman strength, so that's a problem you might want to be fully aware of before you start smacking people left, right, and center."

"Details, details! Spare me the lectures, Michelle. I don't want to hear anymore. Call me if any of the Candroids we sent out earlier inform us on the whereabouts of my fellow Greeed." After throwing a nasty look at me over his shoulder, he got up and stalked off toward the elevator that would take him down to the library's ground floor.

"You know, I'm thinking we need a catchphrase to start off every battle." I said to Kristy and Ankh as we were dining on steak, mashed potatoes, and corn that night in Evans Hall. Since all three of us had coincidentally ordered the same thing, we had dumped all our portions onto one large plate and had gotten smaller, empty bowls filled with rice for ourselves so that we could eat our food the Asian way. Ankh was much more comfortable eating like this, especially since he had already spent half a year in Japan with Eiji Hino—who, by the way, occasionally called Ankh to see how he was doing—and didn't like using Western utensils if he didn't have to. The previous Kamen Rider OOO had even mailed a picture of himself to Kristy upon request, and now she was in love with him. (I actually caught her trying to mail a foot wide pink Valentine heart with a sappy sounding love letter addressed to him to Japan. It was kind of amusing to hear her admit she loved someone two years younger than her, since her previous crush had been a guy much, much older than Eiji, and she had said she liked older guys.) "If we say it in Japanese, it'll be even cooler. How about 'saa, omae no Medals o kazoero'?" *Credit to someone on Henshin Justice Forums who thought this up, it's too awesome to not be used somehow!

_"'Now, count up your Medals'?"_ Ankh was not amused when he translated this into English for Kristy's benefit, since her Japanese was very bad. _"That's lame. You need a better phrase. Like _'watashi wa…Greeed. Saa, omae o korosu.'_"_

"Ankh!" I immediately got a little miffed when I heard him tell me I needed to say "I am Greeed. Now, I will kill you." before every battle. "That's not nice." At this point I heard the sound of keys being pressed and noticed that my friend's fingers were pushing buttons on her smartphone. "Oi, Kristy, what are you doing?"

"I signed up for an international texting plan and had Eiji sign up for it too so we could talk to each other whenever we wanted. He just sent me a message." With a smile, she flashed the cell phone screen at Ankh. "He says 'what's up' and 'how you doing'?"

"Anything else?" I wanted to know, and Kristy nodded before admitting she was having trouble figuring out what he had sent to her. "Let me see. Ah, he says 'Ankh, I hope you haven't lost any Medals lately. Try to rein in your temper whenever possible, okay? Good luck! Hina says hi. And Kristy, thanks for the cute pink Valentine. Btw, you're cute too.'"

"AHH!" Kristy, upon hearing this, immediately went into hysterics. "OMG! He likes me too! Give that back, I want to read it myself!"

In response, I frowned as I returned the phone to her. "I thought the reason you gave it to me was because you _couldn't _read it yourself. At least, not very well."

"Oh, don't be so smart-alecky. But seriously, this is like, awesome. No guy I went out with would admit that. That's why they were _so_ dull."

"Wait, how does he even know you're…no, you didn't!"

"Yep, I sent him a picture of all of us, so he knows what we all look like. In a previous text he told me that it was either 'cool' or 'freaky' that Ankh picked for his new body another blonde guy. Sigh, Japanese is so damn hard to understand."

"For your information, it was only a coincidence that I happened to pick Daniel Piers." Ankh clarified, and jabbed the air with his chopstick for emphasis. "He just happened to be half-dead, which is good for me because I don't have to fight him to gain control. I could care less about a host's hair color. _End of story_."

Hearing him say this, I gave a dramatic gasp and made a 'tsk, tsk' noise at him. I then looked at my watch and noted it was time to get to my next class. "Well, it's about time for me to go. I'll see you after Bio lab, okay guys?"

"Good luck." Kristy answered and gave me a little nod as I began picking up my plate and pair of chopsticks and began heading toward the tray return area at the back of the cafeteria.

"A part-time job, you say?" the woman behind the counter of the campus bookstore repeated when Ankh asked her for more information about the help wanted poster he had seen posted outside. "Sure. We're still looking for a cashier—perhaps you would like to oblige us by filling in for Mia Paulson until the end of finals? The pay won't be very impressive of course, but at least you'll get paid, and that' s what counts."

_"I'll take it then, I suppose."_ Ankh answered. _"I __**do**__ need to pay a certain someone back for eating them partly out of—what do you people call it—hearth and home."_

"Great. Then you can start right now. There's a spare uniform in the closet." The woman then beckoned to Ankh and steered him into the back room before taking a blue T-shirt with yellow letters forming the words "Yes, I Can Help You" on the front of the garment from a box on a rack filled with similar boxes containing store merchandise. "This should fit you. Now go over to the check-out counter and ask Sally for help on how to operate a cash register." The woman now handed Ankh the shirt and watched as he took off the shirt he was currently wearing and replaced it with the one she had just given him.

_"Tch! I'm not dumb, you lowly human."_

"Hey, watch your language, young man. You can't talk to your supervisor like that. Now go find Sally. She'll tell you what to do. At the end of the work week, come and see me for your first paycheck."

"Humph." Ankh gave the woman one last look of contempt before he reluctantly went off to do as he was told.


	3. Cats Gone Crazy

Episode 2: Track and Field, Heart's Desire, and Return of a Core

A few days later, an African American girl in a track and field jersey let out a growl of frustration as her coach told her she wasn't going to be returning to the track anytime soon.

"Why can't I run on Friday?" She demanded. "I'm perfectly fine! I've been training lately so I won't disappoint you at all."

"You've been twisting that ankle a lot lately." Her coach pointed out as he began scribbling some notes on his clipboard. "Casey, as much as I hate to admit it, perhaps it's best if you took a break from track and field for a while. Let those legs of yours rest. You've been working harder than everyone else, and your efforts are commendable, but if you keep injuring yourself either during the competition or during training I can't afford to keep you on the team permanently. Lately I haven't been able to predict if you will be able to run in the competitions, and that's not a good thing."

"But you just said I'm pretty good." Casey complained. "So why must I stop running? Good Lord, Mr. Smith, stop contradicting yourself."

"Everyone needs a break every now and then, and according to your doctor your ankle is still on the mend so running isn't a good idea. We can talk about your ability to make the next track meet in two weeks."

"Two weeks? Sir, that's impossible. My life practically lies on the lanes!"

Mr. Smith sighed as the girl stood up then and began warming up as if in preparation for another big race. "Casey," he finally said as his most stubborn trainee started her routine leg stretches, "I understand your love of racing others out on the track, but sometimes one also needs to learn when to take that step back. Until your ankle has healed, I cannot risk putting you out there. If you twist that ankle again before it has fully mended, it is possible that you will never be able to run again, and this will make you even more unhappy. Please understand this, if nothing else. I care about you, and I don't want to see you hurt yourself, all for the glory of becoming the number one track and field athlete in the country."

"You're such an idiot." Casey replied, but stopped warming up after hearing him lecture her and stomped off. After making her way past a few bystanders watching her fellow colleagues make a few practice laps around the track, she headed away from the field toward her car. "I think I'm going to need another cappuccino. Man, that guy really pisses me off!"

Still angry because her coach had told her she must stay off the track for at least a week to recover from her latest leg injury, Casey entered the student parking lot to find her car and make another trip to her favorite Starbucks café. When she got to her car, however, she was startled to see a young Asian man with silver hair sitting on her car hood. He wore a Yankees baseball cap on his head and a yellow shirt with a roaring lion on the front.

"Who are you?" she demanded to know. "Dude, get off my car!"

"Well, hello there." Said Kazari coolly, and held up a Cell Medal for her to see. "You want to run, don't you? Well, let's see you run." And with that, he lazily flicked his coin at her. Startled, Casey didn't move when the coin went clean through her forehead, but after the Medal hit an unseen bottom somewhere inside her she turned around, now clearly in a trance, and went into her car without another word. Kazari, knowing he was about to stir up trouble for Ankh and me, smirked evilly as Casey's car backed out of the parking lot and headed off campus toward Gold's Gym.

Casey's head still hurt though, so despite feeling an urge to start running she realized she still needed that cappuccino. Without bothering to check if she had enough money in her wallet for a cup of her favorite caffeine loaded drink, she used the GPS to find the nearest Starbucks and pulled into the parking lot in front of the coffee shop with a screech that could have woken the dead before getting out hastily and rushing in to join a long line of people also waiting to be filled with caffeine. There, she happened to pass by Ankh, Kristy and I sitting at a table inside, enjoying tacos from Taco Bell along with our Starbucks coffee. Due to Ankh's ability to sense his own kind if they were close to his location, it wasn't long before we knew that Casey was a Yummy—the parasitic kind.

"Her desires haven't been satiated yet, so let's leave her be." The Greeed told us when I told him to give me the Medals. "It's no use defeating it at this stage. We won't get many Cell Medals from that girl if you try to help her now."

"But won't she hurt people if you let her go?" Kristy wanted to know.

"_That's a risk we'll have to take."_ Ankh answered with a mouth full of lettuce, cheese, and ground beef, which caused me to give him an annoyed look. _"Geez, what you glaring at me for?"_

"Swallow your food before you talk, it's unsightly." I said. "It's about as bad as seeing a ketchup stain on your cheek for fifteen minutes before you realized it was still on your face."

_"As if you could have seen it if I had my real face."_ Ankh grumbled as he grabbed the nearest napkin to wipe his mouth. He then reached for the Tabasco sauce and I fought the urge to yank the bottle out of his hands before he drowned his poor taco in hot chili sauce. After taking the time to do exactly as I feared he would do to his food, he proceeded to take his next bite, prompting Kristy to wince as his mouth closed over the hard taco shell and its contents.

"Um," she said, "isn't that hot?"

_"Mm, very." _Ankh answered, not at all concerned about Daniel's tongue, which must have lost quite a few taste buds by now because of the spicy sauce. _"Maybe not a good idea, but the sauce certainly does add that much needed zing to my food."_

"Er, yes, I suppose. But Ankh, it's probably not a good idea to eat so much of that. I mean, this is Daniel's body we're talking about, and he normally wouldn't approach chili peppers with a ten foot pole."

At this point Casey walked out with her cappuccino, prompting both Kristy and I to wolf down the last of the soft tacos as fast as we could while making frantic motions to Ankh to hurry up and finish his own taco as well so we could follow the girl outside. As she began backing out of the parking lot, Ankh dug into his pockets for the car keys and started up Daniel's minivan while we girls piled in the back and began buckling up. We then followed Casey's car as it turned off into the street, all the while hoping she wouldn't lead us into trouble.

In total we ended up tailing the girl and her light blue sedan for about five miles, pausing only to make a quick stop at a Exxon E-Mart to buy Ankh a frozen watermelon flavored popsicle—he hadn't yet had his daily dose of frozen dessert and had actually threatened to abandon his job as our driver until we had given his "payment" in advance. Though we refused to buy him more than one popsicle, we did compromise by buying him maps of New Jersey and New York City, because Eiji had told him to familiarize himself with the layout of the Mid-Atlantic region of the United States.

After pulling him away from the cashier—whom he had been about to strangle because the poor girl, being a newbie, didn't give him his change fast enough, we then returned to the car, but by then Casey was already out of sight. Luckily a traffic jam nearby had prevented her from going far. A Taka Candroid soon led us into the jam, but what really irritated Ankh was that we couldn't go after Casey at more than five to ten miles an hour, at least not until police waved us through at the scene of the accident. It turned out the holdup had been caused by a crushed Kougami Foundation van, and as I expected our Greeed driver immediately pulled over when he saw it.

Judging by the amount of damage on the vehicle, the van was totaled. It was a just a pile of smoking metal leaning against the guardrail beside the road. A few glass windows had shattered and what appeared to be claw marks were plainly visible on what remained of its hood.

"Wait a minute, we can't stop here." I said. "It's not allowed."

But Ankh just shut off the van's ignition and got out, slamming the driver side door behind him. We then watched as he marched right up to a police officer to get himself into a shouting match with the guy. Afraid that he would hurt the man within the next minute or two, I rushed out of the car to stop the two of them from making a commotion, but luckily another man, this one in a gray and black uniform, came up and exchanged a few words with the two before I could make my way to them. Ankh then turned to wave the two of us over, and when Kristy and I finally approached him he jerked a thumb, which was in its Greeed form, at the newcomer.

"This is a guy you two should familiarize yourselves with, because we'll be seeing a lot of each other over the next couple of months."

"Er, hi." I said, and grinned nervously when the uniformed man glared at me. "I'm Michelle. Pleased to meet you."

"This is OOO, huh?" the man replied. "My name is Gotou, captain of the 1st Ridevendor Platoon. My boss, President Kougami is the one who oversaw the design and production of your Ride Vendors, Candroids, and Medajalibur with the help of Doctor Maki. Dr. Maki is the inventor of the Rider System which you're currently using in conjunction with the OOO Driver."

"Whoa, hold up. Meda-what?" I asked, and Gotou frowned.

"Medajalibur. President Kougami instructed me to give it to the previous OOO, but it should be in your arsenal now. We've made it a part of your weaponry so you can summon it at any time. You haven't tried it out, haven't you?"

"Um, no. I don't think I've used that yet." I answered, and to my surprise, instead of yelling something like "Fool, you should've known about that since you got the OOO Driver!" he actually raised an eyebrow, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Finally, he smirked and handed me what appeared to be a metal case, like the kind you use to store state quarters in—I should know, I actually own a coin case—and a new shiny Core Medal, which Ankh immediately grabbed before I could get a good look at it.

"Good, I think Eiji used the sword so many times, you could predict how the battle would end. So. As you can see, my van was attacked and destroyed, but what I was asked to give you came out of the accident unscathed because I was carrying it and managed to escape before the entire vehicle ended up in this sorry state."

_"My Core!" _Ankh grinned an evil grin so wide, I thought his face would split. "At last, the old man has enough sense to hand me my Peacock Medal." Then realization hit him and he frowned. "But without my Condor Core Medal, we'll be missing one vital Core to form the Tajador Combo."

"Oh boy." I rolled my eyes at him, but managed to act professionally by smiling at the police officer—who was getting peeved because we were all ignoring him and talking to each other in Japanese (a language he didn't understand)—and thanking him for coming to oversee the situation at the scene of the accident before leading us all back to the van, where we could talk in private. "So…what's this…whoa!"

I now opened the case Gotou had given me to see that the entire left side held rows upon rows of Cell Medals for use in the Ride Vendors. On the right side were empty slots with "CORE MEDALS" written on the top in English. Each row had been labeled with the name of a Combo. Since Tatoba was the default form of OOO, I was not very surprised to see that the small print on the left side of the top left row of three empty circular slots read, in red, yellow and green letters said "TATOBA" in both English and Japanese. Inserted in the coin case was also a letter from the President himself. It was a formal letter addressed to both Ankh and me, and at the very bottom of the letter Kougami had given me his personal office number, in case I ever needed to get in touch with him. "Wow, this is nifty."

"That's really cool." said Kristy, as I began begging Ankh to help me fill up the case. As he reluctantly began releasing Core Medals from his arm one by one, she mustered up enough courage to walk toward Gotou. "So. Um… uh, how are you? My name is Kristy. Pleased to meet you."

"Really Kristy, is this really a good time to practice your horrible Japanese?" I asked, but Gotou didn't seem to mind correcting her sentences and responding to her questions using simple vocabulary so that she could understand him easily. As I slapped the final Core Medal—an Elephant Core Medal—into the case, he and Kristy began having a practice conversation in a mixture of English and Japanese. A few minutes later I had to fight the urge to laugh when her tongue slipped and instead of calling him "Gotou-san" she called him "Gotou-chan" instead, which embarrassed him deeply because they weren't on good enough terms yet to change honorifics. While I was shoving a random Core Medal back into Ankh's monster arm—as he was complaining he suddenly didn't feel too good after coughing up so many Cores—I took a look at Gotou and had to snicker when I noticed he was blushing a very deep crimson from the top of his forehead to the base of his neck. "He he. Look at Gotou, Ankh."

"Ah, much better." Ankh was saying to himself as the Elephant Core disappeared back into his scaly palm, but after I gave him a couple of not so gentle nudges he looked up and just managed to catch Gotou looking as if he wanted nothing more than to melt into the asphalt as Kristy started mumbling apologies for slipping up and making herself look like a fool. "What a fool."

"That's not nice." I chided him, and pressed a button on the small remote in Ankh's left hand to make the van doors open automatically. "Hey Kristy, we're going!"

"Okay!" Kristy called back, and bowed to Gotou, whose face was still pinkish in color and taking its merry little time fading back to its normal color. "Sayonara…I mean, ja ne! I hope we can talk more next time."

"Ja ne, then." Gotou answered, and gave Ankh a curt nod before jamming his motorcycle helmet back on his head. He then said a few words to the policemen at the scene before asking and getting permission.

Casey was long gone when we finally restarted the engine of Daniel's van and merged once again with the flow of traffic. Because we didn't know what her desire was, there were no leads, and Ankh, despite having a hunch that she was headed due north, had to turn back when we girls persuaded him not to waste any more gas—the van was quite a guzzler—trying to look for her.

So we turned back. By now it was about 6 PM, and the sky was starting to get dark. Once we were back in the apartment, however, the search for Casey continued. A Google search on our apartment's only PC soon revealed that she was a member of our college's track and field team, and that she was now on reserve because of her latest injury.

"I know her." Kristy said as she handed Ankh a can of Friskies and the cord to the electric can opener. A moment later the opener made a whirring sound as it fulfilled its purpose, prompting Bast, our cat, to come in and start meowing for her meal. "She's a wonderful athlete, but she takes track and field way too seriously sometimes."

"I wouldn't be surprised if she created a Yummy out of her desire to run." I answered as my eyes continued to scan the screen. "It says here that she sprained her ankle pretty badly during a test run. I can imagine how angry she is right now about not being able to complete in Friday's track meet."

_"We can't really do anything about her desire now."_ Ankh pointed out, and glared down at the cat, who was now trying to shred his jeans. _"Hey! Stop that, these pants were expensive!"_

"Um, I would hardly call a $20 pair of jeans expensive." I said. "Your new gold watch however, is a different story. I can't believe you used up two thirds of the money you made as a cashier at the school bookstore to buy yourself something as common as that. I could have given you mine. My watch is a bit old, but still works like a charm. There really wasn't any need for you to buy yourself a brand new one."

Ankh's glare now directed itself at me when I said this, but I simply shrugged it off and made my way to his iPad, which was currently sitting on the table. Usually when either Kristy and I did this he would yell loudly and try to snatch the device out of our fingers, but he was a lot more amicable now because I had become OOO and needed to keep myself up to date on the whereabouts of the Greeed and their respective Yummies. Furthermore, his iPad had an App that allowed him to keep track of how many Medals everyone had, which was a good thing because if you've ever tried to keep a tally of anything in your head, you often find that sooner or later you tend to get the numbers confused.

The can of Friskies was finally emptied into Bast's bowl, allowing the cat to finally enjoy her meal. But before she ate, she gave Ankh his nightly leg rub to thank him for getting her food, which, as usual, displeased him greatly.

"Don't you ever get tired of doing that?" he asked her, but refrained from kicking her because Kristy was now giving him a look warning him not to do anything that might hurt her cat.

"According to your Greeed tracker app, Casey's currently at the track field." I said. "She's running in circles around the new turf the grounds crew installed last week, and if my hunch is right, she won't stop running until Friday's track meet."

"Judging by her behavior, it is likely she ran into Kazari." Ankh said, and laid down a bowl of water for Bast, who immediately began lapping at it to quench her thirst. "Because she's a college student, it is unlikely my fellow Greeed will want to attract more attention than is necessary by letting a Yummy run amok on campus. That Yummy of Gamel's created quite a hubbub, so I doubt they'll want to do the same any time soon."

"Yup." At this point I noticed something interesting and zoomed in on a spinning 3D model of one of the Core Medals that Ankh supposedly carried on him. "Um, do we really have a Unagi Core?"

"Snatched it from Mezool when I was in Japan." Ankh answered without looking up. "She has since retaken the Tako Medal I stole from her, though. And Eiji never managed to get her Shachi Medal so we can't form a Combo using her Cores. I was so looking forward to getting rid of her too so Gamel wouldn't try coming to her rescue every time we fought."

"Um, what are you guys talking about?" Kristy wanted to know. Her Japanese was good enough to allow her to understand simple sentences, but not sophisticated ones. "I think you guys were talking about the Core Medals, but I'm not sure why they're so interesting at the moment. I thought we were discussing Casey's situation."

"In a way we are." I said.

"No, we're not." Ankh snapped, and turned to her. _"We were just talking about how we can't form a particular Combo because we don't have enough Cores to make it."_

"Oh. I see. Because a Combo requires you to have three different types of similarly colored Core Medals, right?"

I nodded. "Couldn't have said it better myself. Just for the record, Tako means octopus, Unagi means eel, and Shachi means orca. Ankh was just explaining to me why we only have one of the blue Core Medals."

"So we can't make an all blue Combo…wait a minute, if you match up Medals of the same color, will you be more powerful?"

"_Of course OOO is more powerful if a Combo is used."_ Ankh replied. At this point both of us noticed his monster arm was back. To prove his point, he pulled from my backpack the Core Medal Case Gotou had given us earlier and pointed to the various Combos already in it. _"So far, the Gatakiriba Combo is the most effective of the two full Combos we can make, as well as the simplest to manage. Though I do have to warn you, Michelle, that this one can literally make you go insane."_

"Whoa, nobody said anything about me about being one step from the loony bin by becoming the new Superwoman." I said, and held up my hands to prevent Ankh from saying anything more. "You're joking, right?"

"Take a look at my iPhone if you want proof." He answered while tossing me said device, which had, up to now, been cleverly hidden in his palm. "Click on Videos. You'll see Eiji's first transformation into Gatakiriba, captured on camera by yours truly."

"Oh, um, is it just me, or did Eiji-kun here just split himself in a bazillion pieces?" I asked as I watched the dude take down an entire army of fish-like creatures with a lot of stunt doubles that looked exactly like him. "Holy—! That's gonna hurt!"

_"It gets easier if you use them constantly, though staying in a Combo form for too long obviously drains one's energy." _Ankh explained. _"As Eiji here just demonstrated on this useful human invention, those unprepared for the sheer power that a Combo can bestow upon a person can find themselves unable to move for hours afterward. It is possible that Eiji could even have died that day, but he survived. He was quite a useful container. Can't say the same for you yet though." _

"DUDE!" I yelled in indignation, and gave him back the iPhone before opening the fridge to open a bottle of pomegranate apple cider. "I think I'm going to need some time to mull over all that you've said just now. Just give me a night to let this sink in and call me again in the morning."

"Tch." Ankh's lips twitched in irritation when he heard this, since he didn't think what he had just said was so complicated it needed to be mulled over at all, but he reminded himself that I had never tried a Combo and would need to think about how best to use it in dire situations. "I suppose it's for the best. I'm going to my room to get some work done."

"Oh, that's right, I have this PowerPoint presentation I have to finish by Monday, and I haven't even started planning it yet. If I don't get started on it now, I'll never finish by then." I said, and followed Ankh to a room next to his. Kristy then rolled her eyes as two doors slammed simultaneously soon afterward before picking up Bast and settled down on the couch to give her pet its nightly back rub.

"Man, they're always doing things at the last minute." She muttered. "On the other hand, I am already done with everything I need to do. Hooray for me." With that, she bent over to kiss her cat on the forehead and proceeded to run her fingers gently through its fur for the next half hour or so.

The smell of disinfectant was the first thing that Casey noticed when she finally came to the next morning. Because of her desire to run, she had done so on the track field for hours the night before, but due to a human body's inability to maintain such strenuous exercise for long periods of time, she had fainted. Luckily someone had seen her collapse and called Lions EMS to take her to the nearest hospital, which she was currently at.

"Ugh. My legs feel like they are currently being crushed by a ton of bricks." She said.

"Oh, you're awake." A voice said. Startled, Casey looked up to see a nurse come in with a clipboard and a pen. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I could run more." She replied, prompting the nurse to given her a look of alarm.

"Oh no, you don't, young lady. You have been doing too much running already. Your body was at its limit when the doctor finally admitted you last night. No. You are to simply rest. No track and field for at least a week until your body heals."

"But I must run…let me run!" Casey's voice rose in pitch until it was a scream. As she did so dirty, silver bandages began appearing on the girl's skin, startling the nurse so much she stumbled backwards with a look of horror on her face. "Run, run, let me run!"

"Doctor, oh doctor, come quickly!" The frightened lady then rushed out to alert her colleagues, and soon they had the girl strapped down so that she couldn't move her legs, which were still very sore from all that running she had done the night before. However, they didn't realize that the girl now possessed superhuman strength, and before long she had raced out of the room, taking the IV stand with her. Of course, because she was running, the IV was soon no longer attached to her, allowing the doctors to follow a trail of blood droplets all the way to the hospital entrance. In addition, she left a trail of unconscious doctors, patients, and security personnel in her wake. "Oh, dear me! Dr. Davis, whatever will we do?"

"Well, the first thing we need to do is to care for the newly injured." He answered glumly. He then looked at the crowd of spectators and medical personnel behind him and waved a hand at the carnage around him. "Come on, let's clean up this mess."

"But the girl-!"

"We can't do anything about her now that she's gone. And if you tried to chase her you'll probably end up like these people here. For now, we can just hope she comes to her senses."

"The poor dear." The nurse replied, and clucked her tongue as she began helping the hospital director tend to the injured lying all on the floor.

Casey's heart was bent on running so much, she didn't even notice her surroundings. As it turned out, her legs automatically turned her in the direction of the college campus, but it so happened that Kristy was walking on the road leading up to the hospital in order to visit her sick friend, who had caught a particularly nasty strain of pneumonia and was currently recovering at the very hospital. The two of them soon saw each other, and Kristy, knowing Casey was not in her right mind, immediately rushed over and grabbed the girl. There was a bit of a scuffle, and before long Kristy had pinned the other girl down.

"Phew, I'm so glad I took karate back when I was still in elementary school. I didn't know it would come in handy one day." She huffed. "Calm down, Casey! Geez."

"Kristy, what are you doing here?" Casey wanted to know. "And can you get off of me, please? I need to get to the track field as soon as possible."

"No, you're not going anywhere." Kristy answered, and opened her purse so she could take out her phone. She then pressed the first number on speed dial she saw and waited for a few moments. "Oh dear, I was _so_ not looking for you. Last time I checked, this was Michelle's number, Ankh."

"She's busy at the moment." The Greeed answered. "She's setting up this strange cardboard contraption with pictures pasted on it against the blackboard. Looks important."

"That would be poster-board. She did tell me she was going to do a presentation on Ancient Egyptian pottery this week in her Art History class." Kristy replied. "By the way, I've got Casey. I hate to interrupt Michelle's presentation, is there any way you could get her over here? My friend-turned-Yummy is turning into Cell Medals, I think her desire is literally taking over right about now."

"Damn. Hang on, I'll see what I can do. In the meantime, don't stray too far from your spot." Ankh answered. After putting my phone back in his pocket, he then closed his eyes for a moment to think over how best to get my attention before wrenching open the door to my classroom and throwing a Eel Candroid at my feet. Moments later, a barely audible zap and a loud yelp told me he had hit the target. He then stuck his head in the partly opened door, causing some students to give him looks of alarm. "Kristy called! It's an emergency! Bring your stuff with you. The eel too." With that he turned and started running down the hallway without waiting for me to join him first because I wouldn't know the way.

"Oh geez, don't _do_ that!" he heard me yell even as his hand threw open the door leading to the stairwell that would take him down to the first floor. "Man, this is not a good day. Sorry Prof, but I gotta go." Then, before anyone could ask questions, I had snatched the Eel Candroid off the floor and rushed out the door after Ankh.

In my transformed state as Kamen Rider OOO, there was a very low possibility of the police coming after me and asking to see my motorcycle license if I went off campus, but I wanted to avoid being caught at all, and so persuaded Ankh to take his minivan out instead because he had his host's legitimate driver's license and was actually a more reliable driver than yours truly, despite being a monster that had to rely on the memories of his human host to know how to integrate himself seamlessly into society.

"I suppose I could take the car." He said after we had had a minor scuffle in front of the nearest Ride Vendor because I had deliberately blocked his way to the machine. "You have no sense of direction, and I have the keys to the car anyway."

"Not to mention if you take the car out you don't have to waste one precious Cell Medal for that bike." I said. "Does the concept of saving up mean anything to you?"

"It does now, I suppose. No use arguing while your friend's in danger." Ankh replied, and began walking toward the parking lot, jangling the car keys in his hand as he did so. Since we were already outside—the Ride Vendor he had tried to activate was directly beside the entrance to the Student Center, the closest building to the main student parking lot—he pressed a button on a small remote attached to the keys, and at once we heard an loud beeping noise that signaled that our van's security alarm was now deactivated. "Let's go."

"Right with ya." I said, and winked at the Eel slithering on the pavement beside me. It let out a shrill cry before picking up speed to get enough momentum to land in my arms. "Hey, careful! You'll zap me if you don't control yourself."

"Eel!" Eel-chan #24 answered haughtily, sounding slightly offended. But it did its best to keep itself from discharging electricity because I was holding it without any protection. Still, I couldn't help but feel my hands tingling every once in a while the whole time I was in the car.

The hospital Kristy was at was merely a fifteen minute drive from campus, but because of unusually high traffic, we couldn't even turn into the road the building was located on until much later. Even then we couldn't find her, and for a moment I feared the worst, but then a loud cat-like screech, followed by a familiar voice yelling 'Bad kitty, sit! Stay!' caught my attention.

"There!" I yelled, pointing to an oak tree just a few yards from the hospital employee parking lot. Perched precariously on a branch, hanging on for dear life, was Kristy. Her face had drained of all color and she was holding onto the limb so tightly her knuckles had turned white. Below her, a large humanoid feline Yummy was busily slashing away at the trunk of the tree. It had muscular legs, but its front paws were smaller, which is why it hadn't been able to break the tree just yet. Its claws were quite long and sharp, however, and deep gouges were made on the tree with every slash of its wrists. Its face was set in a permanent snarl. What was amusing, at least to me at first glance, was that it wore a track jersey. "Oh man. Hey you! Get away from her!"

"HISS!" The Yummy, which had taken on the form of a black panther, snarled when it saw me running up to it. But because I didn't seem to be a threat, it resumed trying to get at Kristy, who was too scared to move, all the while making angry cat noises.

"Medals, Ankh." I said, prompting the Greed to remove the Medal case from the backpack still sitting on the front passenger seat and take out the ones necessary to make Tatoba Combo. He then took the OOO Driver out as well and handed it to me along with said Combo. "Hey, can't we use something better for this particular monster? I watched some videos of Eiji on your iPhone last night and I know he uses Cheetah often against Kazari's Yummies. Shouldn't you like, then give me the Cheetah Medal now?"

"I'm not giving you any other Medals until I'm sure you can handle them. I'll give you the Medals you'll need to take down this type of Yummy in a bit. For now, just use Tatoba to get its attention first. You'll want to do that before your friend becomes cat food."

"Hey, don't call my friend cat food! Eel-chan, attack!"

ZAP! Right on cue the Candroid leaped out of my left hand and landed on Ankh's shoulder. At the moment of impact it gave the Greeed a nasty electric shock. "What the—Ouch! Stupid Candroid! I'm not the enemy, you fool!"

"You know, maybe that will teach you not to be so mean to us girls. I mean, we are sensitive beings."

"Humph. Just henshin already. That Yummy's getting ready to make a meal out of your friend, whether you like it or not." Indeed the tree was creaking ominously by now, and Kristy was shrieking in terror.

"Henshin!" Without delay I immediately put the OOO Driver up against my abdomen, prompting the rest of the belt to magically appear around my waist. "Happy now?" At this point a familiar robotic male voice rapped the Tatoba theme, turning me to Kamen Rider OOO in Tatoba Combo form. "Cool. Kristy, you okay?"

"Hurry up and save me!" she hollered back. "Don't just stand there asking me if I'm okay!"

"Right, right. Ankh, get her down from there, there's a dear. I'll distract the Yummy while you're at it." Here I thought of using a weapon and immediately a long blue edged sword appeared in my right hand. "So this is the Medajalibur Gotou mentioned, eh? Might as well try it out."

The Panther Yummy stopped trying to attack Kristy at this point and leaped towards me, but I rolled out of the way just in time. Then, as it was coming around for a second pounce I raised the sword and slashed it as it was about to claw me, causing it to drop a good pile of Cell Medals at my feet. While this was happening Ankh managed to jump up into the tree and get Kristy down before the entire thing crashed to the ground. Unfortunately she was traumatized by what she had just gone through and wouldn't let go of him, so he had to endure being held in a bear hug the entire fight. (Due to the fact that Ankh didn't like to be touched, this put him in a really bad mood for the rest of the day.)

A large gash could now be seen on the Panther Yummy, revealing that it was really made out of a mass of Cell Medals, but the wound quickly closed before my eyes. Believing that I had not made a deep enough wound, I rushed forward and sliced the monster a couple of times for good measure, but these superficial scratches made by the Medajalibur always closed as soon as the sword no longer made contact with the Yummy's body.

"Here, switch the Batta Medal with this!" Ankh called out when he saw that my efforts were futile. He held up the Cheetah Medal and got ready to toss it at me, but withdrew his outstretched hand and winced when the Yummy put all its weight on its paws and pinned me to the ground, preventing me from getting up and turning toward him so I could catch the much needed Medal. "Damn it! _Now_ how am I going to save you?"

"Hold your horses, I've got it." I called back and grabbed the muzzle of the monster. It immediately lifted both front paws up to pull my arm down, but though its claws hurt, it was no longer putting all of its weight on me and so I could sit up, allowing me to turn in Ankh's direction. "Give it here, now! Quickly!"

"Yes, now!" Kristy urged Ankh, and he immediately let the Cheetah Medal fly. The coin landed right in the middle of a small clover patch beside my belt's Coin Case, close enough to allow me to grab it without having to shift my pinned legs. It was hard trying to change coins with my non-dominant hand, but I managed to do it. At this point the Panther Yummy bit down hard on my right arm, but I managed to, despite the growing pressure on my dominant limb, reach down to scan the new combination of Medals.

"Taka-Tora-Cheetah!" the belt rapped at this time. The symbols on the Medals then popped out and passed through the Panther Yummy before returning to me and enveloping me in a reddish yellow glow. This faded a moment later, but the light the glow gave off was enough to make the Yummy back off of me. Like many cats, panthers hunt at dawn and dusk and don't like bright lights.

I now stood up and began kicking the Yummy at a very high speed thanks to the ability of the Cheetah Medal my scanner had just given me and with knowledge of how my predecessor, Eiji Hino, had done things in this type of situation. To balance myself, since my legs were moving so quickly that even I had trouble following them, I used my hands to grip the Panther's large, bulky shoulders. Within seconds my legs had kicked a hole through the monster, and as I expected the victim's face began to emerge from within the monster's body.

"Grab on!" I said, and took my right arm off of the monster so I could give her a hand. "I'll pull you out of there, but you have to hurry. My legs can't keep kicking forever."

"Thanks!" Casey huffed. She seemed a little out of breath, but otherwise appeared to be fine. A moment later both her hands closed around my right wrist, allowing me to yank her out with a little help from Ankh, who had managed to half-walk, half waddle (as Kristy was still latched onto him) over to grab a hold of me so I wouldn't fall over when I pulled the other girl out. A moment later she was free, and another pile of Cell Medals gushed out of the monster before the wound closed once more. After being freed, she turned back to look at the monster and screwed up her face in disgust. "Oh man, that thing is _ugly_!"

"Me-OW!" The Yummy, seeing that the source of its desire had been freed, became even more enraged and tried to leap at Casey. As it hurled itself through the air toward our school's track star it began disintegrating into Medals so it could better envelop the poor girl in its cold prison again, but Ankh managed to summon a gust of red colored wind and blow it off track, so that it formed a cocoon of sorts around a piece of fence behind us instead. The monster reformed almost instantly after this, though before it could make another pass at us I held up the Medajalibur, which caused it to check itself in midair and land on the ground in front of us instead.

"We're goners, aren't we?" Casey wanted to know. "You can't possibly believe that sword of yours will keep it away from us forever."

"No, but before it tries to kill you again it'll have taken its last breath." I told her. "Ankh, I'm gonna need that Medal Case again."

"It's in the car, and there's no way I'm running over to it to get it to you." He answered. "Unless you want that thing to chase me and possibly damage the van. Besides, I thought you wanted me to act normal. That means…" Here he looked down and noticed that everyone was now staring at his monster arm intently, before stamping his foot and yelling _"Oh, what the hell, let's just pretend this is normal!"_ while ejecting three Cell Medals from his body into my hand. _"There you go. Oh, you know, the irony of this whole situation is going to kill me one day."_

"Uh huh." The Cell Medals at this time made clanking sounds as they were inserted one by one into the slot on one side of the hilt of the Medajalibur. To ensure they all went down the hollow blade into a see through compartment near the tip of the sword I then pushed a lever and gave Kristy my Medal Scanner. "Scan this for me, please. Might make things a little easier for me, since I'm right handed and all, and I want this monster gone as quickly as the rest of you do."

"One scan, coming right up." Kristy said, and as soon as the Scanner had been passed over the Medals in the sword's Medal compartment I heard a voice say "Triple Scanning Charge." A hum was then heard, followed by a loud bang as I made a slicing motion in front of the Panther Yummy, causing three horizontal beams of light to come out of the weapon and slice the monster into three pieces, causing it to explode. To my surprise, I noticed that even the trees and cars and light poles behind the monster had been cut, but amazingly they all reassembled themselves within seconds of being cut. "Whoa. That's wicked."

"That was insane." Casey commented, and jumped when I pulled the slanted OOO Driver back into its horizontal state, causing all the colors on my uniform to turn gray before disappearing altogether in a flash of bright light. "And who are you?"

"This is Michelle." Kristy answered. "She's a good friend of mine. She's a history major and is planning to pursue a graduate degree in speech pathology next semester."

"Oh man, I cannot believe I just met a real life Power Ranger."

"All right, I think this entire community needs to be educated on what exactly is a Power Ranger." I said. "I mean, seriously. Why does everyone think that if you wear colorful spandex you're automatically one of Zordon's chosen 'teenagers with attitude'? No, I am a Kamen Rider."

"Kamen Rider? Is that like, the next season of Power Rangers?"

"ARRGH!" At this point I was ready to tear my hair out because this wasn't the first time someone had mistaken me for a Power Ranger. Even Eel-chan got a little offended at the remark and leaped out of Ankh's pocket to give Casey a minor electric shock, but she didn't mind it soon afterwards because the Candroid looked "cute." "You know what? You can have him. We have plenty of these things in stock in various Ride Vendors around town anyway. And if anything like this happens to anyone you know on campus you can send him out to let us know of the situation. The more eyes and ears out there right now, the better. These Yummies are not fun to be around, I tell you."

"I can attest to that." Said Casey. She gave Eel-chan an affectionate pat on the head before I snapped my fingers to make it return to Can Mode. "Ooh, nifty."

"Yeah, that's what they all say when they see these things." Ankh muttered, and rolled his eyes. "Anyway, would you like a ride back to campus?"

"Yes, please. I think I'm going to need a breather from doing all that running."

"Then get in the van. And just so that everyone can remain sane, including your coach, I hope you're not planning to participate in Friday's track meet."

"After getting in this type of situation, I probably won't be running for a good month or so." Casey replied. "I'll try to rest up before talking to my coach again in the summer, just as he suggested."

Hearing this, Kristy and I exchanged smiles with ourselves and with her. I then gave the girl a pat on the shoulder as she was pulling herself up into the back of the minivan. "That's good, Casey. You deserve it, after all."

"Thanks for all your help. I really thought I was a goner when I found myself surrounded by these things."

As she spoke the car started up and we buckled up while Ankh put the car in reverse in order to give himself enough room to turn out of the parallel parking space we were in. But before he could jerk the wheel to the left to get us back on the road, he suddenly remembered he had forgotten to collect the Yummy's remains—the Medajalibur had converted it into a huge pile of Cell Medals—and pulled the clutch back to Parking so fast, I thought he was going to break it.

"Blast, I forgot to pick these things up!" he yelled. His Greeed arm reappeared as he said so, allowing him to detach himself from Daniel Piers' body and shoot out of the window on the front passenger side. We girls then watched as he went over to the pile of coins and begin absorbing them, laughing evilly all the way. "Mine, all mine! Mwahahahaha!"

"Hey, 60% of that goes to the Kougami Foundation, you know! That deal you made still stands, doesn't it?" I reminded him.

"Huh? I—Oh crap, I totally forgot about that!" At this point Casey noticed that Daniel Piers had fainted in the front seat and let out a little shriek, since she hadn't been paying attention to Ankh detaching himself from his host and was a little late in realizing that he was really a floating arm monster. Mayhem ensued and much explanations followed as we tried to explain to her what was really going on. I think at one point she even fainted when we mentioned in particular Mezool's way of creating Yummies, ("so at the last minute you see this big clutch of Yummy eggs pop, causing you to be swarmed by a bunch of hungry, sea monsters whose only desire in life is to destroy all you hold dear…") but Casey was sympathetic to our cause, and at the end of the day agreed to be our friend and ally in the fight against the Greeed.


	4. Latoratah on the Lake Part 1

Episode 3: Graduation, Equine Therapy, and a Blazing Combo (Part 1)

Ankh grumbled as he adjusted the cap on his head for the fifteenth time, only to find that the attached tassels refused to hang off to the side yet again.

"Tell me why I have to wear this stupid thing again." He said to me as I helped him clip additional tassels that indicated that he was graduating with honors. The Greeed had kept his promise to keep Daniel's grades up, and so he was now getting out of school with a 4.0 GPA. "I'm going to be tripping over this all evening."

"We're _all_ going to be tripping over our gowns, whether we like it or not." I said. "But since they measured you, or rather, Daniel at the start of the school year, they shouldn't drag all over the floor. The tassels might be a bit of a nuisance, but you can always flip them towards the back if they're really bothering you. Now look sharp! I want you to look lively when Gotou arrives with the cake."

"Speaking of looking lively, you three already look stupendous!" President Kougami exclaimed over the videophone we had installed just last week in the computer room. The phone was now sitting on the dinner table, and when we heard him speak the three of us went over to arrange the dining room chairs so we could sit in front of him. "Congratulations! The beginning of a life after college—you three will no doubt have grand plans for the future! Subarashi!"

"Um, thanks." I said, though I didn't like the fact that this guy knew my home phone number. I didn't know him very well and was only familiar with him because it was his company's technology that Ankh and I often used in our fight against the Greeed. "No offense sir, but you really didn't need to go through the trouble of finding out my contact information."

"Why not? Keeping in touch isn't a crime now, is it? Besides, I figured we would be better off if everyone was on the same page, so to speak." Kougami then turned to Ankh and flashed a grin that split his face from ear to ear. "So! Dr. Maki has kindly developed a new Candroid, and I am happy to announce that a box containing said Candroids will be shipped to your house as soon as my dear secretary Satonaka Erika finds that box I told her to fetch from our shipping department." Here he held up the Candroid to the screen so that we could see it better. An NBC-esque peacock logo could be seen on the front, with the word "KUJAKU" in black and white lettering directly below it, as well as the usual pop-the-tab symbol and unreadable gibberish that decorated the Candroid's exterior. "I am told it will not only prove useful in your fight against the Greeed, but can cool you down when the weather turns a little muggy later this month. Behold, the PeaFan!" Without further ado he popped the tab on one of the three Peacock Candroids sitting in a row on his desk, and the thing came to life. It began walking and bobbing its head back and forth across the table, and as it did so its tail feathers/panels began spinning vigorously. "Yes, my friends, I have discovered the only walking motorized fan in the entire world, and I would like to congratulate you all for being the first three lucky customers to get one before they hit Ride Vendors nationwide."

The Peacock Candroid immediately won Kristy over because it looked so unique and cute that she couldn't help but want to keep one for herself, but Ankh and I were not so eager to accept Kougami's newest gift.

"There had better not be a catch for accepting your offer." The Greeed warned the President, while I nodded in agreement. "We already owe you sixty percent of all the Medals we get from the Yummies here. If we have to pay more taxes…"

"Oh please." The President rolled his eyes and shook his head vigorously before greeting Satonaka—who had returned from her errand—and asking her to put the Candroids into the box. He then turned his face back to the videophone. "Like I said before, our relationship is all about _give and take_! You take some, you lose some. Don't, what do you Americans like to say, _get your pants—_or rather, feathers in your case Ankh_—up in a bunch_. In other words, don't be so stingy. I ask for sixty percent, nothing more and nothing less. Again, please accept my congratulations."

"Thank you, sir."

"Good. Now, to business! I have much paperwork to fill out, and you will want to prepare yourselves for Gotou's arrival, not to mention your upcoming graduation ceremony." At this point the videophone went all snowy, and I promptly pressed the end call button before unplugging it and returning it to its place by the answering machine in the computer room nearby. I then went to procure some refreshments in case Gotou wished to stay a while after delivering his cake while Kristy tried to soothe Ankh in my place as he resumed cursing the ever drooping tassel that would not remain stationary on his graduation cap.

Because we would be gone nearly all night, Kristy first drove off to see a cat sitter she was familiar with and make final arrangements for Bast to be picked up prior to our departure at six. We feared she might try to slip outside or wreck the furniture while we were gone, so a cat-sitter was necessary to ensure she didn't get herself into trouble in the meantime. Bast must have noticed we were going to leave her, because we left her cat carrier in plain sight by the door. She hated the thing. It reminded her of the days when she was forced to languish in a unsanitary animal shelter staffed by careless volunteers the first few years of her life. In an desperate attempt to convince us not to take her away and drop her off at the kind but weird cat lady's home, she clawed her way up Ankh's gown and actually resisted being pushed back down to the floor when she tried to sit on his lap, so that when Gotou arrived he had to answer the door with her lying across his shoulders.

"Hi." Said Gotou, looking none too pleased that his boss had charged him with the safe delivery of yet another cake—as if he hadn't had to deliver enough of those blasted things to Eiji back in Japan!—and yet another cleverly disguised Core Medal. "Is that a cat on you, Ankh?"

"Yes, it's a cat, and no, she's not mine." Ankh answered. "I can't get her off of me though. Must be that blasted cat carrier the girls brought down. She seems to freak whenever she sees it."

"Well, here's the cake." Gotou replied, and when we girls went up to see if it really was him, he gave us a small smile and lifted the lid of the cake. "Now that it's delivered, may I go now?"

"Why don't you come on in and sit down for a bit?" I asked him. "You look exhausted, Gotou-san."

Hearing this Ankh turned around and glared at me. "Don't invite him in, you idiot! Can't you see we're in a hurry, here? Or are you so awed by the technology the Foundation gives us that you must suck up to Kougami or his associates every chance you get?"

Sensing the urgency and not wanting to further irritate an already upset Ankh, Gotou quickly handed me the cake and bowed before beginning to back off, but I reached out and took his arm to prevent him from leaving. "No, please, stay a while. Come with us to our graduation. I think it would be great if you could help us ensure that everything goes smoothly at the ceremony. You know, just in case."

Because I knew that Ankh and Gotou didn't have a good relationship with each other, I was for a moment worried that the two of them would immediately loudly protest my offer for him to stay with us until graduation was officially over. But at last Ankh inclined his head, and the other man bowed and began removing his shoes at our front door, indicating his desire to accept my offer of hospitality. Kristy then took the cake, and before long we had reassembled at the dining room table to admire the dessert.

President Kougami must have gone out of his way to find out what kind of cake we would like, because he had made sure not to include anything that Kristy and I would reject, such as bits of dark chocolate or sprinkles. Instead, the cake was mostly covered in vanilla frosting and topped with a little, 3 inch figure of Kamen Rider OOO holding a small edible sign with the words 'Happy Birthday OOO' on it. Below, in strawberry icing, were the words 'Subarashi' and 'Congrats Grads!', both of whom were, unlike the Happy Birthday sign, written in Japanese.

"That thing sure is pretty." Kristy observed, even as I went into the kitchen to fetch a knife, paper plates, and plastic forks. "Pity we're cutting it up now though."

"Yes, indeed." At this point I gingerly picked up the OOO figure and set it down on a napkin, then took the sign out of the figure's hands and bit into it. "Mm, tastes like coconut. Yum."

"Just cut it already." Ankh grumbled, even as he finally managed to get Bast to stop rubbing her face all over his chest and onto the floor, where she continued to stick close to him. "Good lord, cat, how much hair do you have?"

"She's shedding again, huh?" I asked, and clucked my tongue in sympathy. "You might want to take one of her brushes and get those hair strands out of that gown before we go then. And it wouldn't hurt to brush her off too, while you're at it."

"I'll get the grooming kit." Kristy offered, and went off. By the time she came back with the items Ankh would need to remove all the cat hair from his clothes, the cake had been cut into eight neat little slices, and the remaining four pieces placed back in the box and placed into the fridge to preserve them for consumption another day. I then offered her a plate with a slice of cake, and she bit into it eagerly. "Mm, not bad! It's not very sweet, but it's delicious."

"President Kougami has this weird fascination with cakes." Gotou explained. "He has one made whenever one of his employees has a birthday, and he made two in one day when Eiji first became OOO."

_"He also likes to insert presents in his cakes, so watch where you're biting." _Ankh added. _"Eiji got the Lion Medal in a cake once."_

"Ptoo!" As if on cue Kristy now spit a piece of cake out so violently, it landed on the table instead of her plate. At first I thought she had spit out one of the many pieces of strawberry that made up part of the cake's interior, until we all heard a faint but audible musical ringing sound when the strange object bounced off my glass cup on its short flight to the dining room table. "What the heck did I just bite on?"

"A Core Medal!" Ankh was the first to figure out what it was and immediately began wiping it clean with a napkin. "And mine to boot. I knew that man had something hidden up his sleeve. I just never knew what."

"Condor?" I guessed, and the Greeed nodded before tossing it to me.

"Yeah. Now we have the Tajador Combo at our disposal."

"Cool. Right Kristy?"

Under normal circumstances Kristy would have shared our enthusiasm, but this time she did not even smile when I passed her the Core to let her have a closer look at it. "Not cool. It was bad enough when the dentist said I needed braces when I was still in middle school. Now I dread to think what he'll say when I go back this time.

"It doesn't look too bad, Kris. Your front tooth just got chipped a little, but it's not that noticeable. I have a chipped tooth myself."

"Yeah, but this is like, so embarrassing. I mean, what am I going to say to him? 'Yes, I broke my tooth because I nearly swallowed a metal coin?'"

"Ha ha." I said, even as I tossed the Condor back to Ankh, who proceeded to pull the Medal Case he had been hiding in his monster arm and put it into its spot next to the Peacock Medal Gotou had given him days ago. As he was doing this Kristy immediately took her cake and began taking it to the trash can while complaining she couldn't eat anymore, since she didn't want to eat something that had been contaminated. Just then Gotou complained he had a toothache as well, and it wasn't long before we all realized that the entire cake was filled with Cell Medals that had been baked in the dessert for our use in the Ride Vendors. "Oh ew. Any volunteers to wash these things before we leave?"

As I expected, no-one wanted to volunteer, I sighed before dumping the entire pile of Cells into a small bowl and putting said bowl into the sink so I could rinse them free of cake crumbs, saliva, and cream myself.

We dropped off Bast at Mrs. Warner's house and were on our way to the graduation ceremony held at our college's football stadium when Kristy spoke up to announce that the amount on her paycheck had increased. "I'm using my phone to check my bank account right now," she said, "and it seems like the amount I usually get on my paycheck every week increased by 20%. So this is what my boss meant when he said 'Kristy, because you've been such a hard working and diligent waitress, and the customers all love you, I've decided to give you a little permanent gift.'"

"Congratulations." I said, and everyone but Ankh nodded and told her she deserved it. "Now we have more money to pay for the stuff we charge on our credit cards every month."

"But I'm not going to adjust our monthly budget at all, despite the increase. After all, we don't want to end up in debt."

"We went into debt the moment we both signed up for a credit card."

"Oh, don't be so smart-alecky…wait a minute! Ankh, did you just turn right after a 'No Turn on Red' sign? That's illegal, you know!" As if on cue, we suddenly heard sirens wailing as a patrol car hidden behind some bushes on the side of the road suddenly came into view in the rearview mirror, and Kristy's face turned ashen when she realized we were being followed.

"No!" She squeaked. "We're doomed!"

"Now let's assert a little bit of control here." Gotou replied calmly as he turned to face us from the front passenger seat. Being a former police officer himself, he knew what we all must be feeling at the moment. "Ankh, try to find a place to pull over onto the shoulder as soon as possible. The longer the cop must chase us, the more irritated he will be, and this increases the possibility that we'll be ticketed for turning at that light. And whatever you do, try to restrain yourself. Telling the cop you can mess with his head—literally—is probably going to put you one step closer to being arrested. You had best leave me to do the talking." Ankh shot him a dirty look at this point, and he shrugged his shoulders before turning his head away. "Or not."

"You can speak English?" I asked, and Gotou gave me a 'what do you think I am, stupid' look.

"Of course I can. The Kougami Foundation is seeking to expand overseas, and I was often asked to be part of an escort for foreign scientists working with Dr. Maki to create the Candroids, so I had to make sure I spoke understandable English. Fluency, however, is a different matter. I'm surprised Ankh managed to integrate himself into society without too many problems."

"We have to evolve, or we won't survive." Ankh said as he pressed the emergency light button after pulling our vehicle over as soon as there was a shoulder wide enough to accommodate our car, and tried not to glare at Gotou for looking down on his ability to adapt to new situations when the police officer came up to ask for his license. _"Here you go."_

"Thank you, son." The officer answered, and began writing down a few things on his pad. "Do you know why I stopped you?"

_"Yes." _Ankh answered as politely as he could, though I could hear the hint of a growl in his voice. The officer then peeked in to see us girls nervously adjusting the tassels on our caps.

"So you're a bunch of kids heading off to graduation, eh? My daughter's graduating today too. But enough of that, I still need to see your car registration and insurance information, just to make sure this is really your car."

"Tell him you're going to open your glove compartment to get those now, or he'll get suspicious." I told him in Japanese, and when Ankh complied, Gotou opened the compartment and managed to find what the officer wanted. The documents were then handed to the cop, who proceeded to write some more stuff on his pad. He then told us he was going to check something and went away, leaving us to sit in the car for a good thirty minutes or so.

The officer finally came back to tell us we were free to go. Daniel Piers had never been pulled over or arrested before, and he had a pretty good driving record, so Ankh wasn't charged or arrested either. Which was good for us, though afterwards the Greeed said that we didn't need to look so frightened the whole time the officer was interrogating him, because he could have freed himself from jail if necessary simply by detaching himself from Daniel and flying out from between the bars, though we all raised objections when he pointed this out because we didn't want him to get himself in troublesome situations.

"If you make things hard for the cops, you could languish in jail for years, and I wouldn't be able to get any Core Medals from you to fight the Greeed in your absence." I said. "That's not good."

"Don't tell me what is good and bad." Ankh answered haughtily. "Permanently losing one of your Cores? Not good. Helping you save the world is good. Wait, that is _so wrong! _I have no obligation to help save the world, and yet here I am, helping you dimwits." (Emphasis on words in Japanese, not English here, for the record)

"Keeping your eyes off the road is not good." I pointed out. "Now stop complaining and start driving. I can't believe we're still parked on the shoulder. The nice officer let us go minutes ago."

"All right, all right! Let's get moving then." The emergency lights were then turned off, and we soon found ourselves once more on the road.

Mrs. Piers could not help but give a little happy shriek when we girls went up to greet her. She was naturally excited to have been able to take the day off in order to attend her son's celebration, though in my opinion it was kind of sad to see her in such a state, because she had no way of knowing that it wasn't exactly Daniel Piers who would be walking up to get his college certificate—the actual diploma would be mailed to his parents' home later.

"Congratulations, dears!" she said happily. Her eyes were red from crying, and but the tears shed had been those of joy, not sadness. She held a handkerchief in her right hand, and when she brought it up to dab her eyes her gold bracelets jangled. Tiny sapphires embedded in the gold sparkled whenever sunlight struck them. Like many parents, she was wearing her best clothes to the ceremony. For this occasion, she had chosen to put on a white blouse and an ankle length black skirt. "Where's Danny?"

_"Here, Mom! Don't shout, for heaven's sake. I'm not deaf, you know."_ Ankh said, trying to appear embarrassed as he came up from behind us with a ice cream bar in his hand. Having access to Daniel's memories, he knew exactly how his host would have acted in front of his mother. At this point Daniel's mother reached up her hand to brush aside a stray strand of hair blocking her son's eyebrow, prompting Ankh to raise his voice again._"Mom, please, not the hair!"_

"You didn't comb it properly, did you, darling? Well, I suppose it doesn't really matter since it'll be under your cap. Now, off you go, dears. Have fun. And dear," here she frowned when she noticed the ice cream, "please don't eat too much ice cream, it's not good for you."

"It was nice meeting you, Mrs. Piers." I answered, and turned to Gotou, who had been standing beside us the whole time. "Will you stay by her and make sure she'll be all right, Gotou-san? Just in case? Mrs. Piers has some heart problems, and too much excitement might not be good for her."

"No, no, it's fine, really." Mrs. Piers chided us, but took the hand Gotou offered her for support anyway in order to begin climbing up the creaky steps of the stadium seating area. "Go. Chop, chop! Your fellow classmates will be waiting. And Daniel dear—"

_"Yes?" _

"You look a bit more pale than usual. Are you getting enough sleep? And there's a little scratch on your neck. Did you get into a fight? I do hope you get it treated in case it gets infected."

_"Geez, Mom, I can take care of myself!"_

"Sorry dear. But your father and I are worried about you, you know. You haven't come home for ages. But I suppose that if you're living with these girls then it's okay, since our families know each other. By the way, you're not thinking of marrying one of them and settling down somewhere, are you? Because if you are, you should let me know—"

Hearing this both Kristy and I snorted as we tried hard not to laugh upon seeing Ankh's face slowly turn red partly out of embarrassment, but partly out of anger as well. He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped himself just in time, since this would reveal that he was not the sweet, kind, Daniel who, during his lifetime had never openly revolted against his mother. Instead, he jerked his chin toward the assembling graduates making their way down to the grassy field where football games would be played when the stadium wasn't being used for graduation ceremonies. His anger had subsided somewhat after a few seconds, though he couldn't help but glare at his "mother" for bringing up such a preposterous thought. "Let's go. The sooner we get this over and done with, the better."

"H-Hai!" I answered hastily, and picked up my gown to prevent myself from tripping on the garment as we began making our way down to the line being formed by our fellow classmates. Kristy followed, but only after giving Gotou a look of sympathy, which he responded to with a curt nod. However, if there was one thing Ankh failed to conceal, it was his ability to speak Japanese, and Mrs. Piers was left wondering how he was able to speak this language.

"What did he just say?" she asked Gotou. "Daniel never told me he was learning Chinese! Where did he learn it?"

_"It's Japanese." _Gotou corrected her. _"But don't mind him! Where should we sit, ma'am?" _

After promising us that he would try to stay out of trouble and remain inconspicuous among his "fellow" graduates, Ankh left us to sit with some people whose last names also started with 'P', leaving Kristy and I to follow suit. Because of the need to sit in alphabetical order, none of us could stay together throughout the entire ceremony. To my relief, no-one stood up to shout 'argh, there's a UFO here!' or something along those lines, which meant that Ankh was doing his best to act like a normal human.

There was an very awkward moment, however, when Daniel Piers, having been selected as class valedictorian, was called up to the podium to speak, but I needn't have worried, because Ankh managed to deliver such a moving speech about his classmates and our achievements as a class that he was given a standing ovation by not only all the professors, but his fellow students as well. Because of this, Kristy could not help but comment about this when we finally reunited after the traditional "throwing of the caps" part of the ceremony was done.

"Did you really write what you said up there?" she asked. "Because it sounds too much like it was from Daniel's mind, not yours."

"Most of what I said was his words." Ankh admitted. "I just changed a few phrases here and there and had a professor proofread it. To be honest, this human isn't bad, intellectually speaking."

"Of course Daniel isn't bad." I answered. "Your host is an aspiring writer, so I'm not surprised he managed to write such a stirring speech."

"Daniel, dear, how wonderful!" Mrs. Piers now approached us. She had just exited the gates leading into the football stadium with Gotou still latched on her arm to steady her. "That's my boy! Your father would be so proud of you."

_"Thanks Mom."_ Ankh answered, and rolled his eyes when we girls both beamed upon seeing him act so polite towards his parent. _"I'm glad you liked it."_

"Yes, I did like it. Well, I had better give your father a call and tell him how wonderful you were today. The girls tell me you'll be joining them on a camping trip to Whitewater Lake this coming weekend, so I hope you go and enjoy yourself out there in the wild outdoors. I'll send over a package of marshmallows so you can all enjoy some s'mores."

"Mm, s'mores." I said, and smiled at Gotou, who was now letting go of Mrs. Piers so that she could walk on her own back to her car. She had only needed him to help her ascend the steps of the stadium seating area and no longer required his assistance. "Would you like to join us?"

"Actually, I have to stay here and keep an eye out for any signs of suspicious activity." Gotou answered. He then scribbled his cell phone number on a piece of paper he found in his pocket and handed it to us. "This is my number. I'll call you if the Greeed attack while you're away."

"Thanks, Gotou."

"Well, the President did say that the purpose of his company is to support OOO. As an employee of that company, it is my mission to fulfill that purpose."

"Yes, yes, I totally understand. In that case, I accept any and all assistance you may be able to give us. Now! To Whitewater! Let's go home so we can prepare for the week-long trip."

"Oh, let's." Kristy agreed. She clapped her hands happily and, without warning, wrapped her arms around Ankh protectively. "It's so good to have one more person joining us this year. I can't wait to see you ride, Ankh."

"Huh?" Ankh had no idea what we were talking about and because Daniel had never joined us on our annual trips to the lake he couldn't find any answers by delving into his host's memories. "Ride what?"

"You'll see. And are you going to love it! Now come on!"


	5. Latoratah on the Lake Part 2

The next day, we got Ankh to drive us all the way up to a small town at the foot of the Poconos and were greeted at Windflower Farm by a lanky dirty blonde teenager named George Adams, who was the son of the owner of the property and also the only groom for the barn's seven horses. He was stoked to see us and immediately fetched his father, who came out of the house to invite us in.

"Come into the kitchen, folks." He called out from the porch. "I've got refreshments for everyone."

"How wonderful." I said with a smile, prompting Kristy to smile as well. "Isn't this great, Kristy?"

"Yep."

Mr. Adams now led us into the house, and once he had gotten us seated around the large dinner table he opened the oven door to produce a large roast chicken for us to consume. As I expected, Ankh took one look at the proffered treat and immediately let it be known that he took great offense at having been served such a meal.

_"You aren't seriously thinking of serving that, are you?"_ he asked George's father, who returned his glare with a look of confusion on his face.

"Why not? Oh, my bad. Are you vegetarian, by any chance?"

_"No. However, I would like it if you could serve me anything but that."_

"Oh dear me, never before have I met someone who couldn't stand the sight of poultry! If it bothers you that much, then..." With that, he hastily put back the piece he had just carved for Ankh and motioned to his son. "Could you fetch the beef pot pie instead?"

"Sure, Dad." George immediately went to the fridge and produced a microwavable pot pie from the freezer. "Is this okay, then?"

_"Yes, yes, that's fine."_

"Okay, one beef pot pie, coming right up! It'll be on the table in a jiffy. So girls, how does my dad's roast chicken taste?"

As if on cue, Kristy immediately used a knife and fork to cut a bite size piece off of her chunk of chicken in order to give him professional critique of the food. Because she worked at a restaurant and liked to cook, she had a good idea of how food should taste. After a few minutes of chewing on the chicken, she finally came to a conclusion. "Mm. As I expected, the spices you put on the chicken make it salty, but this works because this particular blend of spices actually work to bring out the natural taste of the meat. Did you baste it at all before or after putting it in the oven?"

"Actually, I took the chicken out on occasion to pour a little more of its own juices on it. This keeps the meat moist at all times."

"Well, covering the chicken with its own juices actually make it taste good. And is this spring onion on the meat?"

"Yes, yes, it is. I also added a bit of lemon juice."

"I can taste that. Oh Mr. Adams, your food, as usual, surpasses my expectations. You should _totally_ start your own restaurant."

"My own restaurant? Huh, I had never thought of that before. But this will require a lot of work, you know."

"Naturally. Anyway, final verdict: your food is perfect." At this point the microwave dinged, signaling that Ankh's beef pie had finished cooking, but for a moment no-body realized this, because the 'ding' was heard the moment she lifted up a hand to flash everyone a 'v for victory' sign. It was only after Mr. Adams pointed out to his son that the microwave had been flashing the word "END" for about a minute that the poor neglected pie was finally taken out.

Our horses, Thunder and Flora, were waiting for us at the end of the driveway when we went out of the house to head toward Whitewater Lake two miles away. Because Ankh would be coming along, and because we needed an extra animal to help carry the camping supplies, there were two other horses tethered along with our animals to a tree near the road.

"That's a pretty big Shire you've got for us there, George." I said as we approached the horses and began making final adjustments to their tack. I then swung myself up onto Thunder's back to get myself ready to cross the street astride my trusty steed. "But you didn't have to lend us such a valuable draft animal for the weekend."

"It's okay. We don't need Strawberry for anything at the moment, so he can carry your camping supplies all weekend if you want him to do that." George replied. "And by the way, he responds pretty well to voice commands, in case you were wondering why he's only wearing a halter. He won't run away, so reins aren't really necessary. Horses are pack animals, so I trust him to stay with the group. I've lent him to others seeking a getaway at Whitewater before and he's never given any of them grief, so you shouldn't have any trouble with him either."

"Thanks, buddy."

"Oh, and I've even got you folks a brand new cooking pot for the campfire if anyone wants to try their hand at boiling fish soup or something of that sort."

"Sweet."  
"Isn't it? Now giddy-yap, you all."

"Thanks again George." Smiling, I then gently slapped the reins on Thunder's neck, prompting him to go

forward. But unfortunately Ankh wasn't quite ready to go just yet, and when I turned in the saddle to ask Kristy why she had told me to literally hold my horses I saw that he was dangling awkwardly over the saddle. "Oh, gods, Ankh. You can jump into trees easily, but can't even get yourself on an animal that's much shorter than a tree? Really?"

In response, I got a string of very nasty Japanese curses, which I tried hard to ignore because I knew Ankh was quick to get angry when things didn't go his way. Kristy, however, understood some of what was coming out of Ankh's mouth and winced whenever she heard something stronger than the Japanese equivalent of 'Damn' or 'hell'. To my relief, George was quick to help out and before long had managed to give out clear instructions in order to help Ankh sit on his steed properly, as well as providing a makeshift step with his hands so Ankh could get a boost up into the saddle.

"Because you're a beginner, it would be best to ride next to one of the girls so you can observe how they ride and try to emulate their behavior." He told the Greeed. "And while you don't want to give the horse its head, lest it think you're too soft on it and try to see how much it can get away with when you're not paying attention, you do want to make the reins a little slack so it knows you're relaxed. Horses don't respond well to nervous riders, you know. Just try not to push Harvey too hard and make sure to sit straight as a poker at all times, and he'll get you to the lakeshore without any problems."

_"Right. Got it."_

"Cool. Have fun now." With that, he began waving goodbye, and continued to do so until we had entered the forest on the other side of the road and vanished from sight.

Because of Ankh's inexperience, Kristy and I decided to keep our horses at a slow but leisurely walk the whole way to the lakeshore where we would pitch our tent. This would mean that we would arrive at our destination later than usual, but I didn't mind. In fact, because we were taking such a relaxing ride through the forest, I soon began singing some songs I had learned when I was in choir in college. Kristy hummed along at first, until my voice suddenly faded away into silence, as if someone had told me to make the music fade out, prompting her to stop humming and look at me with concern.

"You okay?" she asked. "It's not like you to suddenly stop singing like that. Is something wrong?"

"No, I just thought of something. I was thinking," and here I switched to Japanese so Ankh could better understand my point, "that the song _Amazing Grace_ really fits Ankh here. He's a Greeed, supposedly one of the bad guys, but he's helping us. For example, he 'was blind, but now he sees.' Our passionate nature has 'saved a wretch' who was 'once lost, but now am found.'"

"You're right." Here she pointed a finger at Ankh, who was riding abreast her. "That song does fit you."

"Huh?" Ankh had never heard the song before, but a quick search of Daniel Piers' memories gave him a basic understanding of the tune and the words, since Daniel often went to church and heard it sung a lot. "Oh, that hymn. Bah. Just a bunch of religious mumbo jumbo if you ask me."

"No, it's not." I answered haughtily. "It's quite a heavenly song. Listen to this." And with that I began to sing solo. By the second verse, Kristy had joined in. At last, to my amazement, even Ankh got the basic tune down and started to sing along as well.

As amazing as the song may be, it did sit well with one particular Greeed who happened to be watching us from his hiding place behind some bushes growing close to the lake. It was Gamel, but because there was no-one except his girlfriend and fellow Greeed Mezuru to see him in his natural form, he did not take human form this evening.

"Make them go away, Mezuru, go away!" he said urgently to her as the two of them were huddling over a small fire by the lakeshore. "Tell them to leave us alone!"

"It looks like they'll be here to stay." Mezuru replied, and shook her head. "Seriously, why does _he_ always show up when I least expect it?"

"Who?"

"Ankh, of course. He's with some girls right now and they look like they'll be camping here tonight. Drat. We'll have to get rid of him, or he might sense our presence nearby and deprive us of even a moment's rest."

"But how?"

"You can create a Yummy, can't you, darling? Well, wish them gone, make your Yummy, and I'll help you make it better. It'll have the abilities of both our species, allowing us to overpower the two easily. Won't that be nice?"

"That might work. Mezuru, you are a genius!" With this thought in mind, Gamel immediately produced a Cell Medal from his pants pocket the same moment he started changing back into his Greeed form. But before he could pop the Medal into his rapidly disappearing human forehead he saw Mezuru toss something into him. "Wait, what are you—is that your Core?"

"Three Cores." Mezuru answered. "I lent you one Shachi, one Unagi, and one Tako Medal. Now quick! Make your wish and produce your Yummy before you fully transform back!"

"Right!" As his primary desire was nothing more than to please Mezuru whenever possible, Gamel took no time at all in producing his next Yummy. Like all of his Yummies, it came out of his body fully mature, but this time, because he was temporarily hosting Mezool's Cores, the Yummy had both a land and sea animal as the basis for its body. "Go, my Elephant Seal Yummy! Destroy OOO!"

"OOO!" his Yummy echoed, and immediately ran off in our direction so it could try to take us down and ruin our little vacation.

"We're almost there guys." I was saying to Ankh and Kristy as our horses began making their way down a small trail leading down to the lakeshore. The three of us were no longer singing, eager as some, if not all of us, were to pitch the tent by the water as soon as possible. I could see the water now, but there was still a couple more trees to pass before we could settle down at our ideal campsite close to the lake. "Just a little bit further now. It won't be long before we get to feast on s'mores and sandwiches that George packed for us tonight."

"Oh goody." Kristy replied. "Mind if I take the lead?"

"Sure, why not? Hey Ankh, is Strawberry still with us?"

"Tch, of course he is."

"Hey, just asking. No need to speak in that tone! Besides, we're on vacation. Lighten up, Bird Boy. We're here to relax and appreciate nature for a week. And for heaven's sake," here I turned my head around to face him, "there's no need to be so tense, okay? What could happen?"

"_That_ could happen." Ankh now raised a hand so he could point at me. As if on cue, my Thunder suddenly reared and screamed in terror, forcing me to focus all my efforts on trying to get him calmed down. After about a minute, I managed to stop my horse from trying to gallop off toward the relative safety of his barn, though he remained very skittish and kept trying to turn back up the path we had just come down on. "Another one of Gamel's Yummies? When did he learn how to read a map so he could figure out where we are?"

"Um Ankh, that doesn't exactly look like your typical, run of the mill, average Yummy." I pointed out. "It looks like someone tried to fuse a elephant seal with an actual elephant to me."

"Literally." Kristy shuddered as she watched the hybrid Yummy paw the ground as it got ready to charge at us. Indeed, the monster, though it more closely resembled an elephant seal, had elephant tusks, wrinkled skin, and elephant like feet. Its hands were humanoid, though they were webbed, which meant it could swim if it needed to.

At first, Ankh too was taken aback by the sight of the Yummy. But then he seemed to realize something and chuckled to himself while producing the much needed Medal Case. Already the OOO Driver was around my waist, ready to be loaded and scanned. "So it looks like Mezuru and Gamel have decided to take a page out of Kazari's book and make their own hybrid Yummy. Unlike their fellow Greeed, however, both Gamel and Mezool are weak to heat and light, which means that this Yummy won't have any chance of beating you if you go all out in Latoratah Combo form." Here he held up three yellow Core Medals toward me. "But can you handle the power of a Combo?"

"I'm sure I can. Just give them here and we'll see how things go." I told him. "Kristy, take Strawberry and get yourselves away from here. There are Candroids in Strawberry's saddlebag, so if you need to contact us or even protect yourself with them, you can do that. For the time being, your safety matters to me. Go, quickly."

Hearing this, Kristy nodded and immediately grabbed Strawberry's halter. She gave him some commands, and before long the Shire had disappeared back up the path, allowing her to follow him and herd him onward to some place safe with her mare in tow. As usual, because he needed to not only act as a lookout but also make sure I got the help I needed when fighting, Ankh remained behind. Like Thunder, however, Harvey started whinnying nervously and tried to put as much distance between himself and the monster as possible. His nostrils flared and his ears went back at this time, but when Ankh actually obeyed his wish to move away and told him to back up, he relaxed a little.

Thunder, on the other hand, was an even more nervous wreck than Harvey, who at least got his wish to stay as far away as possible from this strange creature his rider was trying to get him closer to. If he could, he would have chosen flight over fight, but he sensed his rider was strangely calm and tried to relax as well. He did, however, give a snort of alarm when a heat wave rolled off his back the moment I finished transforming into Latoratah form while still in the saddle.

"Whoa!" I said soon afterwards. "That light was intense, man!"

"The Lion Medal gives you the power to give off intense light and heat." I heard Ankh say. "Mezuru and Gamel's Yummies can't stand that. Even though it's a hybrid, I see this one inherited that trait."

"Which means this should be a pretty easy battle." I answered, and to Thunder's relief, dismounted so I could fight the monster—now rubbing its eyes and moaning about how it couldn't see—on foot. "Sorry for always leaving the care of animals to you, but could you take Thunder's reins for me while I deal with this guy?"

As I expected, Ankh did not enjoy being our official animal caretaker and refused to take the stallion's reins, allowing my Thunder to run back up the forest path toward the direction of his stable unhindered. With Kristy gone, there was no one else to chase after him and make him return. "Tch! Good riddance. That's one less nuisance to worry about."

"Ankh! Why did you just let my horse go?"

"Shut up and look behind you!" Was all Ankh had to say, and could not help but wince when the Yummy, having recovered from making the mistake of looking at my head during my transformation, used his tusks to ram me in the back and knock me down to the ground so hard, the resulting impact stunned me and prevented me from getting back up right away. "Oh _great_! Way to let down your guard, woman."

"Oh shut up." I managed to quip back at him, before rolling over and punching the monster with my Tora Claws. Sparks flew the instant the claws hit the Yummy, and it roared in pain and fury when a bunch of Cell Medals burst out of it soon afterwards.

The next three or four minutes really just involved me slashing away at the Yummy with either the claws on my wrists or the Medajalibur. Eventually I realized that the Yummy liked to use its tusks a lot and decided to use the Cheetah legs to rapidly kick them till they broke, thus rendering them useless as a battering ram. Ankh approved of my doing this, though he later would complain that I should have realized the tusks were a problem much earlier. But, as I reminded him, we are only human, and humans aren't always perfect. I did agree with him, however, and promised to try and do better from the next fight onwards. For now, the Elephant Seal Yummy, though unable to use his primary weapon, was still a dangerous creature, and had to be disposed of, so I turned my attention back to it.

"Blind him again, then use the Scanning Charge." Ankh now told me as the monster and I began circling each other, trying to see which one of us would make the first move to begin the next round of fighting. "That is, if you think you can handle it."

"A Scanning Charge I can handle. Having to walk on foot all the way back home, no." I said, then looked up to notice that the sky was rapidly darkening. "Oh dear. It's starting to get dark."

"So?"

"So I have to finish this up quickly or I'll be trying to fight a monster that will be nearly impossible to see. The Yummy's about the same color as the tree trunks and the forest floor, and if it dives back into the lake to heal itself we won't ever find it without any light to see by. But the timing's good, since we'll need to turn up the lights if I want to aim at it properly, and the sudden flash of bright light in this rapidly darkening area might just give me the moment's distraction I need to execute this hissatsu attack."

"Me die?" The Yummy suddenly said, much to my surprise. Apparently Gamel's personality had been transferred over to it, and I fought the urge to laugh as it pointed to itself and tilted its head a little in confusion. "Seriously?"

"Um. Yeah. You've got a strange way of putting ideas together, but yeah." As Ankh suddenly burst out laughing behind me, I unlocked the Scanner on my belt and raised it up to scan the Medals in their respective slots one more time.

"Scanning Charge!"

Rings of yellow light suddenly appeared between me and the still confused Yummy. My head glowed once again, causing it to squeal and turn away while holding its hands over its eyes to protect them from the intense glare. My Cheetah legs now sprinted into action, while the Tora Claws appeared not only to be covered in yellow flame, but longer than before. Like a cat, I actually meowed loudly the moment my claws came down to slash the Yummy in, leaving claw marks in the form of an X on its chest and causing it to explode. "All right! We did it."

"Of course we did it Though as usual you couldn't have done it without my help. Pathetic, isn't it?" Ankh remarked before detaching himself from Daniel to collect the Medals that were raining down upon us.

"Hey!" I retorted upon transforming back, and grumbled under my breath as I sat down next to the nearest tree to recover from the stress of using a Combo while Ankh was busy getting the Cell Medals he needed to survive.


	6. Boys, Bugs, and Birds, Oh My! Part 1

Chapter 6: Hidden Medals, Rainbows, and a Fiery Combo (Part 1)

Without Thunder to give me a ride down to the campsite that Kristy had chosen during my fight with the Elephant Seal Yummy, I had to coerce Ankh to let me ride behind him after asking for about five minutes to let me catch my breath following the destruction of said Yummy.

"I don't see why you can't walk." He later grumbled as Harvey began walking toward a shouting and waving Kristy on the far side of the lakeshore. "You don't look too tired."

"Using a Combo is tiring." I pointed out. "Believe me, I can't stand, much less walk at the moment. My legs are still shaking slightly, and I have this terrible urge to sleep right now."

"Tch! Well, don't you collapse on me." Ankh replied. "I'm not your personal pillow." He then turned his head toward me to make sure I wouldn't suddenly put my head on his shoulder as I began to doze off. However, he spent a little too long glaring at my slowly drooping head, because without his rider giving him precise directions Harvey continued walking forward instead of staying on the lakeshore. Before long he was wading out into the lake, believing that his rider had told him to swim across. "Drat! I didn't say you could take a swim, you idiotic creature! You trying to drown us or something?"

At this point I felt freshwater seeping into my riding boots and woke up from my nap just in time to give Harvey the command to back up. Thankfully Harvey had not yet begun swimming in earnest—as his hooves were still standing on wet sand in the shallow part of the lake—and he immediately backed out of the water. Though reluctant to thank me for helping him get back on dry land, Ankh nevertheless managed to be as polite as a Greeed with no regard for human customs could be by at least muttering a quick 'thank you', which I accepted, but not without reminding him to watch what he was doing at all times. This increased sense of awareness proved to be useful in allowing us to finally make our way to the chosen campsite without further injuries and mishaps.

I didn't remember much of what happened later that night, save for nodding off on the ground in my warm, cozy sleeping bag. While I was asleep, Kristy and Ankh helped each other pitch the tent over my snoring body and gather wood for a small campfire so they could eat s'mores without me. Mrs. Piers had come through with her promise to send us marshmallows by making sure we got them before we drove down to the farm to pick up the horses. Though the delicious scent of chocolate and warm wafers permeated the air late into the night, it failed to wake me up, and so I ended up missing out on a meal.

Even more regrettable was the fact that I did not even hear Ankh yell at me to wake up and fight just before dawn, when Kazari boldly entered the tent Kristy and I were sharing to rummage through our stuff and take the Medal case from my backpack sitting unguarded on a blanket between Harvey and Flora's saddles. There was then a scuffle inside the tent as Ankh tried to wrench the case out of Kazari's hands, followed by Kristy screaming in terror when the Greeed extended his metal claws and sliced his fellow Greeed's arm, causing one of the wings of the bird-like appendage on Ankh's monster arm to fly off and smack me in the face before dissolving into a pile of Cell Medals beside me. While all this was happening, I continued to sleep, unfazed by the commotion around me. I was later told that Kazari purposely stepped on my foot on his way out to show his contempt, but I was still dreaming at the time and so did not feel him putting all his weight on me for a minute or two. It wasn't until I was fully awake around 9 AM the following morning that the events of the night before were finally made clear to me.

The first sign that something had gone terribly wrong during the night was the sight of Ankh holding his wounded right arm to his chest and grimacing in pain, much like he had done when we first met him in Japan. Beside me lay a small pile of Cell Medals, as well as an empty Medal case. Kristy sat on the other side of him, looking somewhat depressed. A half eaten banana lay on a paper plate beside her, as she was feeling too dejected to finish eating.

Outside, I heard snorts and the impatient stamping of hooves. One side of the tent had even been shredded by what appeared to be claws, and for a moment I thought we had been attacked by a wild animal, perhaps a bear. It did not cross my mind that it had been a Greeed who had left so much destruction in his wake, until a few minutes later, when both my companions chastised me for even thinking that bears would be interested in Medals.

"I'll kill him for this." Ankh grumbled, then gritted his teeth to prevent himself from crying out in pain when he used his injured arm to stand up. "That Kazari will pay for what he did to me."

"What, we were attacked?" I asked, and gave Kristy a look of disbelief. "Then…these Medals here…"

"They were part of my arm. When Kazari refused to let go of the Medal case, I attacked him, and for my pains ended up in this sorry state."

"Then we had better put these Cell Medals back into your body, hadn't we?" I asked. "It might not do much, but at least you might recover a bit of your strength. And I think that for the time being you should rest. Lie down or something before you hurt yourself."

Though I could clearly see that he was reluctant to take orders from me or Kristy, either because we were mere humans or because we were girls (or both), Ankh grunted in agreement, then slowly lowered himself until he was lying on his back on the inflatable mattress Kristy had slept on last night. It was the most comfortable surface around at the moment, and also the closest to him. I then crawled out of my sleeping bag and gently picked up the Medals still lying on a heap on the ground beside me, before carrying them over to the Greeed and dropping them one by one into his palm. As each Medal was "eaten," more and more of his broken arm began regenerating itself, and before long his broken wing had regenerated. His strength too returned soon after his arm had healed, but when reminded to rest and take it easy, he reluctantly rolled over onto his side and promised to stay inside the tent until we deemed him fit to walk around without discomfort. "I don't like this," he added as we girls pulled out some paper bowls and plastic utensils to eat our simple breakfast of Honey Nut Cheerios, "but it might be for the best, I suppose."

"Yes, it's probably for the best." I answered, and placed an extra bowl of cereal in front of him. "Try to finish this while we're gone for the day, okay?"

"Fine. This human body is hungry anyway. Might as well feed it." So saying, he picked up the spoon I offered him and sat up so he could eat better. "Staying here might be a better alternative, after all. I'm not too enthusiastic about this whole camping experience."

Considering Ankh was a bird Greeed, we figured he would be happier being near a forest where there were many trees for him to choose from if he wanted to roost in one when turning in for the night. While this statement was certainly true, we found that he was not too pleased because we were staying in the forest with him, and we were considered too close for comfort. So we worked out a compromise, this being that Ankh could sleep in a tree as far away from the campsite as possible for the rest of the week if this was his wish, provided he always came to lend me the Medals I needed if necessary (i.e. If we were attacked and I needed to henshin to fight a monster). He was also obligated to come during mealtimes—the unconscious Daniel Piers whose body he still inhabited would not be allowed to starve under his watch—but other than that, he was free to come and go as he wished. For today, however, he was to stay close to the camp, because though he had been healed of all injuries, I wanted to make sure he had a day to fully restore his strength.

Even though this year we had an extra companion to enjoy nature with, this year's trip to Whitewater Lake was no different than our previous trips to the lake. We went canoeing as usual to see if we could have fish for dinner instead of s'mores and canned food, and like always Kristy managed to snag quite a catch. But this time she was especially lucky because her bait managed to attract the biggest trout I had ever seen. It was so big it rocked the boat as it thrashed around trying to escape, until I finally ended its suffering by hitting it hard behind the eyes with the blunt end of a knife. It was then thrown into a box filled with water and ice to preserve it until we could return to camp and cook what we had caught.

"That thing was a monster." Kristy observed as she cast the line back into the water to see if we could get another trout or two before calling it a day. "I swear they get bigger every year."

"Maybe this year is an extremely good year for them." I said. "Food might be plentiful, and there are less ignorant campers around. People are starting to become more aware of the dangers of letting a fire burn unattended and leaving trash everywhere, for example."

"True. There's less trash lying around the lakeshore this year, and even the forest seems to be recovering from that nasty wildfire we had a few summers ago due to an improperly doused campfire. Everyone's doing their best to save the planet these days, so it's good news for the wildlife here."

"Ankh would be pleased, if he really cared about the environment."

"Mm, especially if he knew that bald eagles and other similar birds of prey are endangered or on the verge of extinction." She replied, causing me to chuckle lightly in response. "Not that he would care about protecting Mother Nature, of course."

"Uh huh. But you have to admit it would be funny if he joined up with a bunch of animal lovers taking to the streets to shout 'Save our National Bird' or 'No More DDT! Hands off the eagles, leave them be!'"

"That's hilarious. But there's no proof that Ankh would be willing to involve himself in environmental debates, though it wouldn't certainly be out of the question. Now, could you give me a hand here? I think we have got another big one, and he's a toughie."

"Oh boy." After noticing that she was suddenly straining to keep the pole from slipping out of her hands, I quickly scrambled over the benches of the canoe over to her side before giving her an extra pair of helping hands. "All right, I've got you. Pull, Kristy, pull!"

The rest of the week passed by before we knew it. Ankh found it strange that Kazari and the other Greeed did not try to launch an attack on us in our weakened state, but welcomed the reprieve from the fighting nonetheless. Instead of spending the entire week moping over the loss of our Core Medals, he finally decided to join us for a swim in the lake the day before we were scheduled to ride back to Windflower Farm and spend most of the remaining weeks of summer break at our apartment.

In fact, he even volunteered to participate in a game of 'pass the beach ball' while the three of us were frolicking in the water amidst the various species of fish and other marine life that flourished in the area, despite later commenting that humans were quite silly to have thought up such an activity.

"Why do we do this?" I asked. "Because it's fun, that's why."

"Fun?"

"Yeah, fun." Kristy added. "I mean, haven't you heard the saying 'all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy?'"

"In other words, if we kept thinking about work all the time, none of us could ever enjoy life itself." I explained, when Ankh gave us a confused look. "In your case, there are times when you must stop worrying about recovering your body and just enjoy the experience of being a human. Pass the ball, will you? Don't hold on to it all day."

"Here, then. But I still don't get it."

"You don't _need_ to get it. Like I said, it's just for fun. You can't always expect something bad to happen, after all. The world isn't that gloomy of a place. I mean, us losing all those Core Medals is undeniably a big loss for us, but we can't just throw up our hands and go 'damn, we're dead' or something. If you lose faith, then you've lost everything."

"Hakuna Matata." Kristy now said, and this caused me to grin from ear to ear.

"Exactly! Hakuna Matata. To quote Pumbaa from _The Lion King_, 'these two words will solve all your problems.'"

"But they can't exactly return the Medals Kazari stole to me." Ankh answered hotly. "I don't know about you, but this _Hakuna Matata_ thing is useless in this situation."

"No, it's not. You need to stop worrying about them. You've still got your pride, haven't you? You must be proud to be a Greeed, ironic as that might sound to us girls. If you don't cherish what you still have—remember, you've still got that Taka Core that keeps you alive—then you'll never be satisfied. So hold up that head of yours and thank your lucky stars that we made it through that night alive, and that you still have the ability to keep your arm in one piece."

Hearing me lecture him so seemed to move Ankh, and he nodded after letting my words sink in for a moment. "You might have a point there." Suddenly, however, the expression on his face turned serious. "But in our current state, we don't have many options with which to fight the other Greeed and their Yummies. One screw up, and _we will be dead_. You know that, right? I will risk my life for you if I must, because my body can only be recovered with your help, but if you mess up even once, not just will you fail to save innocent lives, but we could all lose our lives in the process."

"I know. Fighting the Greeed requires that we have a plan for everything. Plunging into battle without so much of a strategy just might cost us dearly. But for now, how about passing that beach ball? For heaven's sake, could you not hog it while you're talking and lighten up a little? There's no danger at the moment. In fact, for a little change of pace, I'm thinking we should play hot potato with this—OOOF!" Before I had even finished speaking the beach ball smacked me full on in the face, causing me to fall backward and sink underwater for a moment with a big splash. However, I must have gotten used to being hit because I had gained experience fighting monsters as OOO, and surfaced without any visible injuries shortly after with a big grin on my face. "Dude, that was awesome! Landed me right in a school of trout! Can we do this again?"


	7. Boys, Bugs, and Birds, Oh My! Part 2

One month later…

Billy Johnson sighed as he turned the page of a picture album showing his parents holding him when he was still a baby, remembering the days when the family was still living under one roof. After he had turned four and gone off to school, however, his mother had become increasingly agitated and often came home drunk after a late night shift at a factory where she helped manufacture watches. Because of this, his father had decided to apply for a divorce, fearing that this increasingly irritable wife might do something to either him or his son if she came home one night in a bad mood after work. Billy's mother had opposed a divorce, but authorities, after some careful evaluations, determined that she was slowly going insane and had given Billy's father permission to take him away to live in a neighboring district—so he wouldn't have to switch schools and have to deal with more stressful situations such as making new friends and meeting new teachers.

Despite all the turmoil that Billy had witnessed so far, he still loved his mother, even though she no longer lived with him. He had been young then, but he still remembered the song she had taught him as a kid, and had vague memories of climbing into her lap to listen to her make up stories about a little rabbit named Rob who could talk to humans and grant them wishes if they were nice to him. She had been very kind to her son, and he sometimes wished she was still around.

"Daddy," he finally called out, and ran on his little legs—he was seven by now and a little short for his age—into the kitchen where his father was boiling chicken soup for dinner. "Why did Mommy have to go again?"

Mr. Johnson sighed when he heard his son mention his wife again. He had told Billy to forget what had happened in the past because the circumstances that had led up to the divorce pained him still after all these years. "Son, your mother just can't be with you anymore. It's not good for us if you are with her."

"Why not?"

"She's…she probably won't even remember you anyway. We don't even live near her anymore, so it's highly unlikely our family will ever be together again."

"I still remember Mommy."

"I know. But Billy, Mommy _had_ to leave. It was the only way."

"People came and took Mommy away."

"Yes, well, see, she just needed to go someplace where these people could take care of her better. Maybe when she's better, we can see her." This was far from the truth. Doctors had diagnosed Mrs. Johnson's behavior as symptoms of mental illness and had recommended she be taken into an psychiatric hospital. She had been deemed a risk to society and so there was very little chance she could become part of the Johnson family once more and lead a normal life with her husband and son.

"Mommy's in a hospital, right? She's still sick?"

"Yes."

"I want Mommy, Daddy."

"But son…"

"I want Mommy to come back! I want Mommy to come back! Why can't Mommy come back?"

Tears suddenly streamed down Billy's face. As usual, whenever Billy and his father talked about Mrs. Johnson, the son would end the discussion by bursting into tears. He liked his father, but he had seen other kids with their mothers—mothers who had never left them and always picked them up after school—and hated having to explain to his classmates why his mother had never showed up even once to see him do a performance or some other activity at school. Furthermore, because he had a tendency to burst out crying whenever things didn't work out for him, his peers constantly teased him, and he was known as "Crybaby Billy" or "Sissy Billy" at school as a result.

In times of distress, Billy would often rush back up into his room to cry over his baby photo album he kept on his bookshelves, but this time he ran outside into the backyard instead. Now this was an opportunity that a certain young man dressed in a green leather jacket could not pass up on, and he stepped out from behind the Johnson's old oak tree to see if he could make Billy's desires come to fruition.

_"You okay, kid?"_ he asked Billy in Japanese accented English, as the boy came over to sit in a tire attached by a sturdy rope to the lowest and strongest branch of the tree so he could swing himself while his tears slowly dried. _"Why are you crying?"_

"Daddy says I shouldn't talk to strangers." Billy answered, and turned his face away. "Go away."

_"Now, now, my boy, don't cry. In fact, I can grant you your wish. Just tell me anything. You can confide in me." _In reality, of course, Uva just wanted to make a Yummy from this boy, since he thought it would be a good idea to meddle in family affairs, and was only pretending to be sympathetic. But he had to get the boy to say his wish out loud, because only then could he know what his next Yummy would be after. _"What do you really want?"_

"You can grant wishes? Really?" Billy's face lit up when he heard this, and his crying changed to little sniffles. "Are you a genie? Where's your lamp? Can you really grant me three wishes?"

_"I can give you your heart's desire."_ Uva replied, and beckoned Billy over with a wave of his hand. _"Come here. If you tell me your wish, I will give you something good. Think of it as, what do you humans call it, an early Christmas present."_

"Can you make Mommy and Daddy meet again?"

_"Done! Here's your present_." Uva now produced a single Cell Medal from his jacket pocket and smirked as it flew out of his fingers and into the boy's head, where a coin slot had appeared. A moment later Billy found himself staring at a Egyptian mummy like creature slowly emerging from his chest. He was at first startled, but because he hardly felt the mummy thing come out of him, did not scream in pain and horror, which would have sent neighbors and his father running over to help him. The fact that the insertion of the Cell Medal had caused him to go into a trace also might have kept him calm. Uva now switched to Japanese, since his newly formed Yummy did not understand English. "Go. Find this boy's mother, and bring her here."

"Sir?" Billy watched as the Yummy began slowly shuffling his way across the street. "What is that?"

_"Never mind the Yummy. Just wait for your mother's return."_ Uva answered, and with one jump he had cleared the backyard fence and landed on the sidewalk on the other side. _"Have fun, my boy. Remember, if you're greedy, you will go far in life!_" He then gave the boy an evil smirk before leaving the area to watch from afar the mayhem that would ensue from the creation of his latest Yummy.

While all of this was happening, Ankh was in the middle of stir-frying a special dinner for Kristy—since it was her birthday and she had requested he do some Asian style cooking—when the TV in the living room was turned on and a news reporter came on screen to report that a Egyptian mummy like creature had gotten past security and hospital employees to kidnap a woman currently being monitored at the local psychiatric hospital for showing signs of a mental breakdown.

"Police and local investigators are currently at the scene. The suspect has already left the area, though officials suspect it could not have traveled far." The reporter said, prompting Ankh to drop the spatula he was holding and rush to the TV so he could use the remote lying on the coffee table to turn up the volume and not miss a single word of the breaking news report. "Hospital authorities have been reluctant to release any footage of the incident. However, no serious injuries have been reported. Back to you, Henry."

"Another Yummy! I knew it." He said to me when he finally returned to the kitchen a little while later. "I thought I heard the sound of one's desire in the process of being achieved earlier, but as it was, and possibly still is, a maturing Yummy, I'm not too eager to send you out on a wild goose chase for that thing just yet."

"Who do you think is attacking this time?" I asked.

"How should I know? It might be Uva this time, though. He hasn't done much lately, and I'm sure he's been itching to come after me."

"The bug guy? Lovely."

"Well, this is your lucky day. I happen to be in a good mood, so if we have to fight the Yummy, I'll lend you my personal Core Medals if you need it."

"Thanks." Then I remembered that Kazari had stolen everything in our Medal case and tapped Ankh on the shoulder to get his attention when he took the spatula back from me so he could continue mixing the ingredients in the wok over our gas stove. "Wait, I thought we only have one Taka Medal left! How can I fight as OOO without body and leg Medals to choose from?"

"I lied. We have two Combos at our disposal." Ankh now shook his human arm to briefly turn Daniel's possessed limb back to its monstrous state so he could take out his Taka, Kujaku, and Condor Cores. "I still have Tora and Batta as well. Kazari will have to go through me if he wants his last Core and revive completely. It's a pity Eiji lost the other Tora to him, or I wouldn't be so possessive of the remaining Medal."

"You've _got_ to be kidding. So what _did_ Kazari take if he didn't take all the Cores?"

In response, Ankh just grinned evilly as he turned off the fire and began tipping the contents of the wok into a large bowl. "We lost the Medals for Gatakiriba Combo form, but nothing else. At least we still have Tajador and Tatoba. That's what makes my victory all the more sweeter. But that explains why he stomped on your foot on the way out. He was furious when he realized I had double-crossed him."

"Thus did the _pájaro_ outwit the _gato_. _Muy bien_, Ankh. I daresay that your plan to fool Kazari was very well thought out. Ingenious, really."

Because he did not understand Spanish, it was kind of amusing to see Ankh's face after he realized I had sprinkled some words he did not know into my sentences when replying to him in Japanese. His reaction was even more hilarious to see when I switched completely to Spanish, as he went all red in the face after I told him that he had learned a new language simply by listening to me talk like this. To add insult to injury I even shouted "¡Feliz cumpleaños!" Kougami style to "congratulate" him for being the first Greeed to know three languages.

"Shut up." He finally said afterward, and when the food was served, he took away his bowl soon after joining Kristy and me in a chorus of 'itadakimasu' so he could eat elsewhere. (He was later found eating in a tree in the backyard after the landlord, who happened to be passing by, saw him and yelled at him to get down before he damaged the thing, and we were threatened with eviction if the tree broke because of our carelessness.)

Meanwhile, in another section of town, Billy, who had yet to tell his father about the mysterious stranger who had paid him a visit earlier that day, was eating dinner with his dad. The meal tonight was tuna casserole, which Billy loved, though he preferred the way his mother had cooked it when he was younger. But he didn't complain about the food, since it was still delicious, and when his father smiled at him warmly for finishing all the peas on his plate, he smiled back and tried not to think about what had occurred earlier that day.

At 9 PM, Billy promptly went upstairs to get ready for bed, as this was a routine procedure, and his father always insisted that he should get at least 8 or more hours of sleep despite it being summer break and he could afford to stay up a little late. After brushing his teeth and washing his face properly, he climbed into bed and waited for his father to flip to where they had left off the night before in the _Children's Collection of the Best Bedtime Stories of All Time_. No sooner had his father started reading, however, than there was a loud crash from downstairs, followed by the sound of a woman shrieking her head off.

"Stay here while I take a look downstairs." Mr. Johnson said to his son, and tucked Billy in as fast as he could before sprinting for the door. "Hopefully it's just the neighbors' cat accidentally knocking something over and causing a commotion. They're always complaining about it making a mess around the house."

"Will Fluffy be okay?" Billy wanted to know, as the shrieking continued in the background. Another person suddenly yelled at this time, followed by sounds of grunting and a male voice giving orders in another language. "What is that, Daddy?"

"Like I said, I'm going to go and see. Be back in a minute." Mr. Johnson then left, leaving Billy alone in the room with his book and stuffed dragon plush toys.

Billy, however, was not patient enough to wait more than a minute. He was an impulsive boy and had trouble sitting still, so when his father did not return after a while he slid out from underneath the covers and walked to the stairwell to see for himself what was really going on. From his vantage point he could see that the mummy thing had returned home, this time with his mother in its arms. His father stood in front of it, looking bewildered. In front of his father stood three strangers, two of which were girls. One of these girls was wearing a strange looking belt with circular slots on the front.

"Hold it right there. What do you think you're doing with the lady?" the girl wearing the belt now said to the monster. Of course, Billy didn't know what she had just said, because she was speaking in a language he could not understand.

"That's my wife." Billy heard his father say. "How-? What-?"

"I think explanations might have to be saved for later." The other girl answered in English, and nodded at the young man standing next to her before switching back to the mysterious language. "Ankh. You know what to do."

But before anyone could make a move, Billy gave a loud shriek of joy and ran downstairs to meet his mother. Unfortunately she no longer recognized him and screamed at him to leave her alone when the Yummy placed her on the floor.

"But Mommy, it's me! Don't you recognize me?" Billy's eyes brimmed with tears once again when he realized that maybe his father was right, that his mother could not be with him anymore. He began crying in earnest when she gave a terrified shriek upon being touched by him and responded by slapping him hard in the face, sending him sprawling onto the floor beside her.

At this point, the Yummy, having done his job, started smoking as his skin began to break apart, revealing its matured form, that of a humanoid fire ant. The pincers on its face dripped orange venom, which, upon touching the ground, slowly began burning a hole in the plush carpet beneath it. It stood upright and had a few ant=like legs growing out of its chest, along with humanoid hands and feet, but its entire body was covered in little spikes to discourage anyone from trying to touch it. Close combat would be impossible, and Ankh must have already devised a strategy for fighting this type of Yummy, because he immediately handed me three red Core Medals.

"Some birds eat bugs. At least, that's what I've learned this week. So you might want to use these. That way you don't have to get close to him if you don't want to. I'm not begging Uva for an antidote if you get poisoned or anything, so be careful when you engage him. Understand?"

"Gee, how long did it take for you to figure _that_ out?" I asked sarcastically upon hearing him say that, while Kristy giggled behind me.

"Not long. I remember someone telling me that '_Google is your friend_' when we were still in college."

"Ah yes, the power of Google is wonderful. Subarashi, as President Kougami might say. But Ankh, are you sure you want me to go directly to Tajador form? I mean, these _are_ your Medals I'll be using."

"I did say I was in a good mood today. So hurry up and use them before I change my mind."

"In this house?" I raised an eyebrow when Ankh showed no indication of wanting me to take this fight outside. "Um, how am I supposed to use Scanning Charge here? The roof's kind of low and may hinder my flight." Here I turned to face Mr. Johnson and added, in English so he could understand me: "No offense, but seriously, this is not a good place to take care of this Yummy. Can we go outside?"

"Huh?" As I expected, Mr. Johnson had absolutely no clue what was going on in his house, and he had no idea how his wife had suddenly arrived at his home.

"Michelle!" An impatient Ankh now snatched the Core Medals he had just handed me back with his clawed Greeed hand and stuffed them into the OOO Driver. He then shook the Medal Scanner in my face to remind me of my duty. "Hurry up and use the Combo, or I'm taking the Medals back. You going to fight or not?"

"Going, going." I answered while holding up my hands in surrender, even as Kristy tried hard not to laugh behind my back. "Geez, you're so impatient. Henshin!"

The Scanner was now passed over the belt, and I paid no mind to it as it began announcing the names of the bird Medals that made up Ankh's Greeed body. After saying "Taka," "Kujaku," and "Condor," however, the belt suddenly started singing church choir style, and my eyes widened when I heard the belt go "Taa—Jaa—Doruuu!" and end there, rather than repeat one or more syllables before stopping so the transformation could commence.

Kristy now averted her eyes as a flash of very bright red light engulfed me, and I burst into flames right in front of her. When my armor appeared, I realized that the Core Medal designs on my chest no longer showed three separate creatures, as they had come together to form one hybrid phoenix like creature. Even my helmet felt different, and when I reached up to touch it, I realized the wings on either side of the helmet had sharpened a bit. Wing like armor covered my shoulders, and I had sharp yellow spike things coming out of my ankles and the tips of my feet. "Is it just me, or do I feel lighter too?"

"It's obviously so that you can fly." Ankh pointed out, and watched as I raised my arms up and to the sides, causing another bright flash of rainbow colored light to flood the room. "Now, launch those feathers! You may be able to damage the Yummy by doing so."

"What feathers?" I asked, since I was currently focusing on the Yummy and not what was directly behind me. When Kristy pointed out they were behind me, I reached back and managed to pluck one of the rainbow peacock feathers spread out like an actual peacock's tail behind my back so I could get a general idea of what these things looked like. "This is really cool."

From his position behind Kristy, Ankh did a face-palm before pointing a sharpened clawed finger at me in anger. "Did you or did you not hear me tell you to launch the damn things already! The Yummy isn't going to wait for you to stop admiring yourself!" Indeed, the Yummy was now charging toward me, and everyone let out a groan when it hit me, causing the feathers behind me to vanish. "Damn it! Concentrate, you idiot!"

"Sorry, so sorry!" I yelled back. Then, before the Yummy could grasp my helmet in its large pincers, I had blown it across the room with some very well aimed feather "arrows" once they had reappeared behind me. I then spread red wings from my back and launched myself up to the ceiling so I could spare myself further injury from engaging in close combat. "Okay, we're going to need to launch a few more projectiles before his armor gets blown off completely. I wonder how you do that though."

As if on cue, the symbol on my chest glowed and a hologram of its symbol flew off to land on my left wrist and produce a strange shield like contraption over my hand. "Oh? What's this?"

"It's your projectile weapon. You can use the Taja-Spinner to attack your enemies from the sky or from a distance." I heard Ankh say from below, and I found myself once more enlightened.

"So I see. In that case, take this!" A wave of disk shaped beams of light now flew from the Taja-Spinner, causing the Yummy to stagger backward from the onslaught. It then tried to shoot its venom upward, but missed and wound up splattering the wall behind me instead. However, this attack caused the wall to start disintegrating, and I winced as the roof supports of one side of the living room was revealed as a result. "Oh man, talk about needing an extreme makeover! Scanning Charge time. This is the perfect time to finish the job."

"Scanning Charge!" The Scanner echoed, and talons on the backs of my ankles immediately faced forward and down so they looked like the feet of a giant bird of prey about to swoop down upon its next victim. I then dropped altitude and slammed these giant talons into the Yummy, causing it to explode and start yet another Cell Medal shower.

A little while later, I let out a sigh of relief as Mr. Johnson handed me the hot water bottle so I could put it on my still aching legs. The transformation required for the Tajador Combo's special attack, Prominence Drop, had really twisted my muscles, and though my legs were currently back in their usual positions, I couldn't walk properly yet.

"Thanks, Mr. Johnson. I needed that."

"That was cool." Billy piped up from his sitting position below me on the floor next to the sofa I currently occupied. "I can't believe I met a Power Ranger!" With that, he stood up and mimicked me doing my henshin pose. "Henshin!"

Seeing this, Kristy smiled, while I tried my best to grin despite the pain in my legs. "That's great, Billy. By the way, could you go check up on Ankh for me? I think he's still in the living room."

"I wonder why." Mr. Johnson answered. "But I don't think he wants to be bothered though, son. You don't have to go see what he's doing."

"Yeah, it's probably best if we left him alone." I said, but Billy ran off to fulfill my request anyway. Mr. Johnson then walked back to the kitchen table to pour a cup of orange juice. He sighed, then came over to hand me said cup. "Pity my wife was taken away from me again. I had hoped they would allow her to stay a night or two."

"She did technically escape from the hospital, so they had to take her back." I pointed out between sips of juice.

Soon after I had defeated the Yummy, some medical technicians, accompanied by a small group of police detectives who had tracked the Yummy down, entered the house after seeing the flashes of light from when I was in Tajadoru form through a window and took her back with them. They had then asked us a few questions, before scooping up some of the Cell Medals lying around as evidence of what they called an "unusual crime scene" (happily, nobody was charged as there just wasn't enough evidence to persecute anyone) and leaving. Ankh was naturally peeved about the loss of extra Cells, which would explain why he was still in the living room. Perhaps he was sulking, and I began to regret sending Billy off to check on him because I was afraid Ankh might lash out at the boy in anger.

Suddenly, we heard a gasp, and Billy came rushing back, looking excited.

"Pretty birdie!" He cried out happily to his father. "Ankh is a pretty birdie!"

"Um, what?" I asked, surprised, and winced upon getting to my feet after seeing everyone about to rush off to see what Billy was talking about. "Hey, don't leave me here, guys! I want to see too!"

Ankh was indeed what one could call a "pretty birdie." Assembled in the living room behind him, we could see that a transparent rainbow colored wing had sprouted from his host's back and was scattering feathers all over the place. These feathers were not actual feathers, however, because when they touched the ground they disappeared, much to Billy's disappointment when he tried to pick some of them up. After about a minute or so, the Greeed suddenly cried out in pain and bent over as if he had suddenly had a bad stomachache, causing everyone to gasp. Despite having painful legs, I managed to hobble over to him and place a comforting hand on his left shoulder.

"Damn it!" I heard him say as he knelt on the ground for a moment to let the pain subside. "Why won't this body regenerate?"

"That's bad, isn't it?" I answered, knowing that with four of his Cores inside him he should have recovered another body part or two. It was now very clear that something was terribly wrong with Ankh. "What do we do now?"

"We must get more Cores." Ankh answered, and walked past us toward the front door. "I'm going home. Need a bath, a popsicle, and some time alone for a while. Don't talk to me before 10 AM tomorrow."

"Wait, don't just leave us here!" Kristy cried out when he just walked out without waiting for us, since we needed a ride back too, and he was the only one with the van, which was currently parked outside the Johnsons' garage. "Come back!"


	8. Wish Upon a Fish, Part 1

Chapter 7: Rabid Fangirls, Financial Trouble, and a Fishy Situation

Graduate school involved a lot of hard work. When I wasn't scrambling to read an entire three hundred page book in three days in preparation for a seven page essay on autism for a reading seminar on learning disorders, for example, I was handing out plates of hot food at a soup kitchen for homeless people in the area, or teaching a guy who had dropped out of high school the skills he would need to pass the GED in order to get his High School Equivalency Diploma.

But being at graduate school had its perks too. For one thing, the university I was attending had a deal with a local inn, which had enough rooms to rent two or three of them to six lucky students for two semesters before it was necessary to reapply if said lucky students, or their colleagues, wished to stay longer. By luck, the lottery I entered in order to get a chance of securing one of these rooms produced favorable results.

However, the roommate I was forced to share this luxurious, homey hotel room with was not an ideal companion. We would argue over the most insignificant things, like who would get to use the shower at night and at what time, and at what time the TV must be off so that one of us could get some sleep or studying done. In one instance, we were arguing over which famous singer—whose images adored two very large posters we had each chosen at the university store—should be prominently displayed on the back wall of the room, which faced the door.

"No," I was saying to this obnoxious girl, (one whom I won't bother to name because not only was she so annoying, but she won't have a significant part in this chapter) "There's absolutely no way you're going to put up your silly Justin Bieber poster on _my_ side of the room."

"But your part of the wall is so bare." She replied. "I've already used up my wall space, but I really want to put this thing up."

"You must be kidding. There's absolutely_ no way_ I'm going to tolerate Mr. Bieber smiling down upon me in my bed every night. Besides, if you so much as try to cover an inch of my bulletin board over my bed, I will take this as a very serious insult to my reputation."

"You have a reputation?" The girl sneered, and poked her finger at the numerous newspaper clippings about my almost weekly fights with Yummies (or, as the newspaper reporters called them, "animal-mummy creatures") as Kamen Rider OOO. "It looks more like you're a superhero worshipper to me."

"Actually, I _am_ the superhero." I said for the fifteenth time this month, and as usual my roommate just laughed it off as some sort of joke.

"Oh _please_. As if anyone would believe that. I mean, girls can't be superheroes. All I see here is a Power Ranger wannabe. Just some costume wearing guy who likes to dress up and stage mock fights out on the streets. Bunch of hooligans running around, that's all."

"Good god!" Here I jumped up and slapped the photo of a smiling Eiji Hino pinned to my bulletin board in frustration before making my next point. "When was the last time you saw a Power Ranger take care of a monster again and again _without _having to finish it off with a giant combining robot or two? By the way," here I lowered my voice and glared at her, "these Power Ranger jokes are getting old. Shut up, okay? And keep that Bieber dude to yourself. I don't care if you pretend to faint every time you see his image somewhere, but if you're seeking to force your roommate to like him too then I think we have a problem."

But this girl wouldn't give up. She wanted to hang Justin Bieber over my bed…bad. So she would call me, once, then twice, then three times a day, asking for permission to get this heartthrob a place on our hotel room wall. After tolerating about five days of relentless nagging, I finally snapped. The next time my phone rang, I didn't even bother looking at the caller ID anymore. Instead, I simply flipped open the phone cover and, without waiting for the other person to respond, started yelling into the speaker, despite the fact that I was currently in a very crowded Student Center and jostling for position in a line fifty people long (all of whom could hear me loud and clear). It was the lunch rush hour time, and lots of kids were lining up to check out some ready-made meals before their next class.

"If you're going to ask me, for the millionth time, if you can hang Justin Bieber over my bed, you can forget it!"

It was at this point that I realized I should probably have checked who was calling me before yelling this, because the reply I got made me blush a deep crimson when I realized it wasn't my roommate who was trying to reach me this time around. It didn't help that some people began whispering about me behind my back, and other Justin Bieber fans turned to glare at me for insulting their "idol."

"Cranky today, aren't we?" A familiar guy's voice answered. "In that case, I think I'll just hang up and give you the good news later."

"Oh my gosh, I didn't know it was you. Sorry, so sorry! You okay? I'll give you a minute or so to go find your eardrum if it's fallen out by any chance."

"My ears are ringing." Ankh replied. "But I'll live. Anyway, Kristy thought it was a good idea to call you about how I landed a data analyst job at a stock exchange company in New York City."

"Daniel was a business major with a minor in English, so I'm not surprised you got the job. You certainly have gained the skills needed to do something useful with that major." I said while handing over my college ID to the cashier, who proceeded to take some money out of my meal plan account so I could pay for my tuna sandwich. "Congratulations."

"It'll be a lot of work. Even knowing that, I think I can handle it. Daniel happens to be extremely good with numbers. Anyway, Kristy also says that because I got a job, we should celebrate it somehow, since it's hard to find any kind of work these days. I told her not to do any unnecessary, but off she went to buy us tickets to the local aquarium. As if I would be interested in looking at dolphins and fishes and sharks all day! That's something Mezuru would probably do on a "date" with Gamel."

"Well, that's nice." As I said this the cashier handed me back my card so I could go find a table. After finding a nice secluded spot at the back of the cafeteria, I proceeded to sit down and enjoy my meal.

"So can you get back home this weekend? Because that's when Kristy's planning to go to this aquarium place."

"You're lucky I'm not too busy this weekend, so I have time to make an hour long drive back to our apartment." I said. "See you Friday night, okay?"

"Whatever. In the meantime, good luck on your studies."

"Gee, thanks, Ankh. Never knew you cared about my studies."

"I never did. Just wanted to ask because she's listening in at the moment, and I don't want to offend—Ow! Okay, okay, I care! And she just said thanks, so stop pinching me, you ungrateful little—Ow!"

"Hi Kristy. You can stop pinching Ankh now, I think he's learned his lesson."

"He better have." I heard Kristy mumble in the background, and when the call ended a couple of seconds later I chuckled to myself as I devoured the last of the sandwich I had just brought.

President Kougami must have known that I had switched schools, because when I finally stepped off the shuttle bus parked in front of the Days Inn I would be staying in for the year, the first thing I saw was a Ride Vendor standing by the automatic doors. Standing next to this Ride Vendor was a very familiar individual tapping his foot on the concrete. His face was hidden by his helmet, whose visor was currently down so I couldn't see his face, but his clothes unmistakably identified him as none other than Gotou Shintaro, former captain of the 1st Ride Vendor Platoon.

"Oh, hi Gotou." I said after coming up to him. "What are you doing here, may I ask?"

"I'm not your personal delivery boy, so don't get the wrong idea here. But there's something I have to give you." Gotou answered, and grumbled something else in Japanese as he reached into the large knapsack he was carrying to pull out a box stamped with an official looking seal and tied with a red ribbon. "President Kougami says this is for you."

"What is it?" I asked, but a few moments later the box was opened to reveal sixteen Candroids. There were four of each kind, three of which I had seen before in various Ride Vendors in the area. The new Candroids were black and silver, and my eyes widened when I noticed they said 'Gorilla' on them. "No rhinos? Aw man, I was _so_ looking forward to those. I mean, I like African mammals. Surely someone's made one already?"

"Dr. Maki, who designs the Candroids, hasn't gotten around to making Rhino Candroids yet." Gotou answered. "So you're stuck with gorillas until either he does, or these break down. Which, I assure you, won't happen. These things went though quality control and were tested multiple times to ensure durability and usefulness in all types of situations."

"Oh?" Here I tried to crack a joke by asking if any of the Candroids had ever broken during the testing phase, and roared when laughter when Gotou recounted one instance where someone who was in charge of programming personalities into the Tora Candroids made an entire batch of them vicious by accident. Many a finger was bitten and clothing shredded until special personnel were called in to catch them all and throw them in the crusher so a new, tamer batch could be made. "That's funny."

"No, it wasn't." Gotou shot back, and turned back to the Ride Vendor. "So. I heard you guys are going to the aquarium tomorrow."

"Good god, have you been spying on us again? No offense, but do you have a second job as a detective or something?" I cried out after hearing this, but decided not to complain too much after Gotou did me a favor by giving me his helmet and a handheld remote to transform the Ride Vendor so I wouldn't have to waste any more of Ankh's Cell Medals. I then put on the helmet and started the engine of the vending machine-turned-motorcycle before turning back to face Gotou. "Thanks for the extra Candroids though. I hope to be able to put them to good use. By the way, if I take this thing, won't you have a hard time getting places?"

"I'll take public transportation." The captain answered. "So don't you worry about me. Just enjoy your time at the aquarium. I hope nothing happens while you're there. It's important to have fun when you're not busy, after all."

"Nothing had _better_ happen." I agreed while using my foot to flip up the kickstand of the motorcycle so I could finally get going. "So. I'm off. Ja ne." With that, I placed both hands firmly on the handlebars and sped off toward the direction of Kristy and my apartment.

It was Ankh who answered the doorbell when I rang it an hour and a half later. His hair had grown a bit while I was away, so that it was now shoulder length, and, judging by the pair of scissors he was holding, he was in the process of snipping off the ends.

A soft whirring noise could be heard when I entered the kitchen after sending him back into the bathroom to finish giving himself a haircut. Hunched over a thick bamboo shoot lying on a cutting board on the counter next to the sink was Kristy, wielding what appeared to be a Kujaku Candroid instead of a knife. The poor bird was wailing pitifully at the top of its tiny little lungs, and spinning its tail feathers pretty fast. This was so its plastic blades could slice through the tough bamboo shoot, though it wasn't doing much good.

"Um, is there any reason why you're not using a knife to cut up that bamboo properly?" I asked, puzzled as to why this poor Candroid was being used as a kitchen utensil. "I mean, that's Candroid abuse right there."

"I _tried_ using a knife." Kristy answered, and threw up her hands in exasperation upon noticing that the Candroid had only sliced through a quarter of thickest part of the shoot. "But this thing is really hard."

"That's because it's an old shoot you're trying to cut there. The older the bamboo, the harder it is. No wonder you're not making much progress."

"Gee, thanks for the much needed culinary tip. I guess I should have done my research before trying to make my own bamboo shoot and tofu soup, eh?"

Hearing this, I laughed before going over to the sink to wash my hands and take over the job of cutting the shoot. "Maybe. And even if you didn't, you should have guessed that bamboo aren't that easy to cut, even with spinning Candroids at your disposal."

"Then you can cook it. Oh, you can, can't you? I mean, I miss drinking your delicious bamboo shoot soup."

"So desperate you tried to make it yourself, eh?"

"Uh…yeah." Kristy now turned to the Kujaku Candroid trying to preen itself—if metal peacocks in the shape of soda cans could preen—and spoke an apology to it in Japanese. "Sorry Kuku! I'm really sorry you had to put up with my horrible cooking skills."

"Kuku?" I raised an eyebrow when I heard that. At the same time the distraction temporarily halted my attempts to slice the bamboo with a large meat cleaver. "Did you seriously name that thing?"

"Why not? Better than calling it Kujaku # whatever, right? Anyway, I managed to properly bake something while you were away."

With a smile, Kristy turned my attention to the toaster oven, which was currently in the process of baking a tray full of already fully cooked chicken nuggets. There were just enough nuggets for the two of us to eat, since Ankh, being a bird Greeed, was not likely to bother eating even one, despite his newfound taste for anything fried, as I soon learned from Kristy. "See? These are okay. Kuku, I know you probably hate me for using you as a kitchen utensil, but do you mind fanning the nuggets so we don't have to wait so long to eat them?"

Kuku looked up when it heard its name, and for a moment I saw it turn away from my friend. But before it could fully turn its body around, it seemed to make up its mind and immediately leap off the table so it could fly over to the chicken nuggets now lying on a plate in front of the open oven. Then, while its feathers were still spinning, it started directing the wind generated by its plastic blades at the nuggets to speed up the cooling process, much to Kristy's delight.

"Arigato, Kuku! My apologies for making you work, but you're currently being a big help, and I appreciate that."

At this point I finished slicing up the bamboo just as Ankh came in to ask if his haircut had turned out okay. In my opinion, cutting his hair short made him look a lot more handsome. Daniel was the type who liked to wear his hair long occasionally, and while Ankh had kept his host's hairstyle as much as he could, he wasn't in the mood to keep Daniel's cute little ponytail this month, and so had decided to give himself a haircut. He did, however, leave some uneven strands of hair, so I helped snip off a few he had missed before telling him to go take a quick shower to wash himself off. As usual, the Greeed did not like taking orders from me, much less get anywhere near water, but found that we were still serious about booting him out the front door if he so much as emitted a whiff of bad body odor. So he left, albeit after listening to me remind him not to let any hair down the drain, leaving us girls free to continue working in the kitchen without further interruptions. The silence that followed Ankh's departure allowed for us to start singing random songs a cappella while we worked on making dinner, until he came down about twenty minutes later to complain that our singing was horrible and that we should work on trying to not to go off-key while belting out the lyrics to the national anthem.

"Since when did you know what our national anthem sounds like?" I had to ask him, since I had never seen him come to any of our concerts or even stop by the music room when we were practicing the song in college.

"I…Oh, shut up." Ankh answered. There was no readable expression on his face as he said this, but I couldn't help but notice that he was somewhat embarrassed to admit that he had memorized not only the tune but also the words to the "Star Spangled Banner" as he snatched up his bowl of bamboo shoot soup and made his way to the dining room table to join us for dinner.


	9. Wish Upon a Fish, Part 2

Having been away for so long, I was sure that someone must have missed my awesome cooking, and so chose to wake up much earlier than usual to prepare breakfast for the three of us. The clock struck five A.M. as the kitchen came to life with the sounds of oil frying in a pan just before a bowl full of raw egg yolk was dumped into said pan so they could be turned into scrambled eggs. Before the yolk could fully solidify in the heat, additional ingredients, such as ham, a bit of shredded cheese, scallions, and onions were poured into the frying pan to give a much needed extra 'zing' to the normally bland breakfast. Though I regretted adding more scallions than I had intended—since they were intended to be used in the making of handmade flower buns—the eggs tasted much better with spring onions in it, so there wasn't any harm done in creating this ultimate "flavor explosion", though, in retrospect, the scallions made the eggs taste saltier than I—or the Chinese friend I had made and learned to cook from while abroad in Japan—would have liked.

Someone had planned ahead, knowing I would be eager to make more delicious Chinese food for him and Kristy as soon as I got home last night, because the refrigerator was stocked with all the ingredients I would need and usually asked for if it was not my turn to do the shopping. It was not yet clear who had actually gone through the trouble of making the half hour drive to the local Asian Food Market, though the presence of many red colored foods in the fridge made me believe it had been Ankh who had done the shopping. As it turned out, it had been him. Kristy had sent him off on his own about two days before to take advantage of a sale going on at the store, and he had taken the opportunity to buy himself a lot of peppers (thankfully not the very spicy kind), which were quickly becoming his new favorite food.

A little digging in the fridge later, I was suddenly hit with inspiration and stuck my entire head and arms into the freezer so I could retrieve a package of pork and lettuce pot stickers. Though they were supposed to be easy to cook, being frozen and all, Hua Li, my friend, had shown me otherwise. The trick was to add a bit of water at various intervals to keep the top of the dumplings moist, but too much water, which had to sit on top of a thin pool of oil, could ruin the taste and the look of the things. There was also a need to make sure that the pot stickers did not live up to their namesake and actually stick to the bottom of the frying pan, because while the bottoms of the dumplings were meant to be burnt, they could not be unpalatable, or the entire meal would be ruined.

Pot stickers by themselves are not very nice looking, but I managed to arrange them all in a circle on a large plate after taking them out of the pan one by one so that they looked like they were protecting a pile of eggs I had dumped onto the center of said plate. According to Hua Li, Asian people say that the best dishes appeal not only to the tongue, but to the eyes and nose as well. It makes sense, because who wants to eat a dish that looks bad on first sight? If the eyes can't stand the sight of a dish, then it would make sense that a dish might not taste very good as well. There are exceptions of course, but it's logical to want to make food appealing to the senses.

The smell of food must be working its "appealing to the nose" magic, because as soon as I put my finished breakfast on the table the door to Kristy's room opened and she came out, still in her pajamas, to sniff the air and ask what I had been cooking for the past half hour or so.

"Mm, smells good." She said. "Eggs for breakfast at last. You won't believe what Ankh usually makes in the morning."

"What does he make?" I wanted to know.

"Definitely not scrambled eggs, that's for sure. Apples. He gives me warm apples. Sometimes he has them sliced and served with dip, but they're always never chilled."

"Apples are good."

"Not when they always come to me feeling like they've been sitting over a heating vent all night. What did he do, roost on them beforehand?"

Hearing this I fought the urge to express my mirth. But the thought of Ankh squatting over a bunch of apples and occasionally standing up to turn them over before going back into "roosting mode" was too much for me to bear, and I couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"Oh god, I can't imagine that. But anyway, come and eat. There's plenty for everyone."

"Pot stickers? That's…that's my favorite food! Save some for me." Kristy said happily as she came forward to pick up a pair of chopsticks so she could select a dumpling for herself.

Ankh was still asleep when Kristy and I left for Greenwich Aquarium an hour later, since he was going to join us at the place later after he had gotten an extra hour or so of sleep. According to Kristy, Ankh had stayed up late a lot recently since his work required him to do so, and was a lot more amicable—if Greeeds can be described as amicable—toward people if he had had his rest. He would join us at noon, just in time for lunch, and since he knew the way to the aquarium and had my Ride Vendor at his disposal, there was no need to worry about him not being able to find us later.

The aquarium was housed in a newly constructed building, which made it appear new from the outside, though in a way it was old because it had everything the old aquarium—long since demolished to make way for this one—had, and not much else. It did, however, feature a glass tunnel with a moving walkway, which visitors could go into if they wished to see fish and other various marine animals swim over their heads. It was this tunnel that Kristy steered me into first, as she wanted to see the sharks and manta rays that had just been added to the exhibits before the dolphin show began after lunch.

"There's another tunnel on the other side of this building." I pointed out as my friend pushed me past a colorful coral reef—whether it was real or not I did not know—and took out her camera so she could snap a photo of a passing tropical fish swimming next to a diver cleaning the glass above us. The diver waved to her in response, and the two of them exchanged thumbs up signs before I was forced to stand beneath the guy so Kristy could snap a picture of both me and him holding up 'v for victory' signs. "You _had_ to do that, didn't you? In case you haven't noticed, he's got a job to do, and you're holding him up."

"Oh no, please don't tell me you're turning into Ankh #2." Kristy replied. "He obviously didn't mind me taking a photo of him. Now could you give me another smile and a v sign so I can get a proper picture of you—Hey, that was fake! Do it again!"

"Aw." I answered, but decided to lighten up and let Kristy snap a better picture of me. After telling her to not distract more divers, I then reminded her once again of the other tunnel, and had to chase her when she heard me say that there would be rare fish there and rushed off to see if the description in the guidebook I had purchased at the information desk back at the entrance was true.

As Kristy had predicted, Ankh showed up just in time for lunch. Because we failed to inform him of our exact whereabouts, he had to search through five of the fifteen fast food restaurants in the food court area of the aquarium before he found us, but the three of us were reunited in the end. Having already ate before his arrival, both Kristy and I were not interested in the food he had brought from one of the fast food vendors in the area, though both of us found we still had room for a small platter of fries and half a fried fish sandwich each.

Many people tend to make small talk when they eat with friends and family, but Ankh chose to go a different route. Instead of catching up on the latest gossip, he suddenly went on this rant about human nature and our existence in general. He was particularly interested in the theory of human evolution, so we naturally talked about Darwin and his theory of survival of the fittest. Ankh believed his race, the Greeeds, also followed Darwin's theory to a certain extent because they did evolve to survive after the destruction of their tenth Cores. He also commented that it was a miracle that humans, being supposedly weak because they lacked defensive mechanisms, such as fangs and claws, had managed to survive for thousands of years.

_"And you humans are crazy."_ He said with a mouth full of pizza. "You're like the guy who kept bugging me to go see 'AVATAR' with him until I actually went along with his stupid plan to hit the movie theaters."

"You saw 'AVATAR'?" I yelped after nearly choking on my piece of fish, and my eyes practically bulged out of their sockets when he confirmed that he had indeed seen the movie. Even Kristy's jaw dropped at this time, and she nearly let go of the soda bottle she was in the process of opening.

"Yes, and I don't know why people think it's such a great film. Who's this James Cameron I keep hearing about?"

"Well, James Cameron's a famous director because he directed another blockbuster film called 'Titanic.' That film made history when it first came out, so that's why people literally flocked to the theaters again recently when they heard he was coming out with another potentially award-winning film."

"That would explain why the theater was so crowded my co-worker and I could only find seats in the last row. Anyway, so I went to see the film, just to shut him up, but the movie just got him even more excited afterward. It was hard trying to restrain myself from punching him in the face when he handed me the last of the popcorn to take home after the film was over."

"Sorry to hear you had such a negative experience at the movie theater." I answered, then looked at my watch and noted the time. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, how about letting me buy you some ice cream before we head out to watch the dolphin show?"

A cute blond trainer in a blue and black swimsuit waved pleasantly to the audience as she stepped up onto a platform laid out over the large pool next to her. Beside me, Ankh grumbled to himself as he turned on the digital camera to commemorate our trip with a couple of memorable photos and carefully made his way down to the first row of seats so he could get a better photo of the dolphins frolicking in the water. Due to the noise of the crowd, I couldn't hear him very well, though it wasn't hard to guess why he was so upset. Despite being a bird Greeed, Ankh did not have a drop of waterfowl blood in him, so I could understand why he disliked anything to do with water—the undrinkable kind, of course.

The trainer smiled as she saw that camera bulbs were flashing on all sides of the arena, since she liked the publicity she was getting from being one of the main stars of the show. While turning to wave at the spectators, she scanned the audience, hoping to find a volunteer for her little performance, since she usually started the dolphin show by having her co-stars give a lucky person a friendly tail slap that left them all soaked to the bone.

"Hi, my name is Emily, and welcome to the Greenwich Aquarium!" she announced loudly soon after she had mentally picked out a volunteer for the dolphins, Lulu and Henry, to enjoy splashing. "Today, we will be showing off some relatively new residents of the dolphin exhibit, Lulu and Henry!"

Emily now blew a whistle, and the dolphins leaped out of the water upon command to wow the audience by jumping through two hoops suspended from a beam hanging over the pool. Unable to get out of the way in time, I saw Ankh yelp in indignation as the dolphins splashed back into the water, causing him to get a bit wet.

"My, my, who is this? An enthusiastic volunteer?" Emily now turned her attention to Ankh, who was in the process of wringing out his shirt. The camera was waterproof, so there was no worry about our film getting ruined, but his shirt was no longer dry and clung to his skin a little, even after he had wrung out the excess water. "Lulu, Henry, say hello to him, quick!" Emily then blew her whistle twice, and the trained dolphins swam up to Ankh at once. They then hauled themselves onto a little platform just below the surface on the side of the pool before turning around to slap their tails on said platform, causing a small but powerful wave of water to drench Bird Boy. "Good job, guys! Way to go! Now you've just made a new friend! Say hi back to Lulu and Henry, good sir. You can pet them if you like!"

Ankh didn't want to pet the dolphins, but because the audience expected him to do so, he went up to them and gave them a few rubs each before backing off and returning to his seat beside us. Luckily we were not sitting in the splash zone and so our benches were still dry and warm from having been exposed to the sun still shining overhead. The warmth of the sun was a welcome thing, because by the end of the show he was back to being perfectly dry, and this improved his mood. He was still a little peeved about having been splashed though, so we brought him another popsicle after the show before sending him home. This was a satisfying way to end the day (for Ankh at least), and as soon as he had finished eating he was off to the parking lot, leaving Kristy and I alone once again to enjoy the rest of the programs and exhibits offered at the aquarium.

Edith White shook her head as she went through the year's budget charts and financial reports. The year had not gotten off to a very satisfactory start, and she wished there was more to offer the visitors.

"We need more dolphins and seals." She said to herself. "Maybe an extra tropical fish or two. And a shark. And lots and lots of eels. People want to see more exotic species."

Mrs. White, having made up her mind about what to do with the rest of the money still in the organization's bank account, now went to her laptop to fill out a couple of request forms for various animals from other aquariums and zoos nationwide. But at the last minute she erased all the data she had entered into one of the forms and closed the application, since she was beginning to doubt the results of this spontaneous expansion of exhibits. The owner of the aquarium had put her in charge of managing the financial aspects of the place, and she wasn't ready to ruin his trust in her by spending every little hard earned penny they had raised over the years all at once. Expansion was, after all, a time consuming process. Firstly, they had to make sure the public was ready to see new animals at the aquarium. Before acquiring any animal, they also had to get approval from the town council, since they were the ones who decided how much of the state budget would go into maintaining this attraction.

But alas, Mrs. White's desire had attracted the attention of a young Japanese girl pretending to be interested in an octopus currently entertaining visitors through its attempts to open a jar full of chopped fish. It was Mezuru in disguise, though no-one knew that yet. Even I was not yet aware of her presence, since not only had she not assumed her Greeed form to deposit a single Cell Medal into her latest victim, but Ankh was no longer around to alert us.

Unaware of the danger behind her, Mrs. White hummed to herself as she picked up a binder with the entire year's financial statements and began going over them once again to track the flow of money starting from last January. So engrossed was she in her job that she barely felt the tingling sensation of a Cell Medal going through the back of her head. She even ignored a sweet sounding voice telling her to unleash her desire and set it free.

But someone had seen what was going on. Kristy had been in the process of walking past the financial officer's office, which was behind a door labeled 'for employees' only on her way to the stingray exhibit, when she heard a muffled voice coming from behind said door. She had almost ignored it, but Mezuru had been talking in Japanese when she told Mrs. White to unleash her desire, and her voice was loud enough to be heard by Kristy.

"Michelle, come quick!" she immediately said into her phone a few seconds later, and I was soon by her side.

"What's up, Kristy? You sounded all panicky all of a sudden. You okay?"

"I think there's a Greeed in there." Kristy replied, and we both watched as the door opened, revealing Mezuru in her human form.

Of course, having never seen Mezuru in person, I did not have any idea who she really was. I was therefore about to chastise Kristy for raising a false alarm, but it was here that the Greeed made her first mistake.

"You're that human Ankh's chosen as the next OOO, aren't you?" she asked. Her eyes narrowed as she looked up at me. Having chosen the form of a pre-teen, Mezuru was currently a head shorter than me, so I had a hard time believing that she could be a threat at first. "You had better watch where you step, girl, or it might be the end for you. I'm not going to go down that easily."

"Um, what?" I asked, confused. "How do you I know I'm OOO?"

"Gamel told me about you." She answered, and rolled her eyes as my jaw dropped in surprise. "You humans are too easy to catch off guard."

"Let me guess, you're here to make a new Yummy." Kristy told her, and Mezuru nodded.

"Of course. We need Cell Medals, after all. Our bodies are incomplete. But I just might have the latest Yummy destroyed to save you a lot of trouble…if you'll give me back my Unagi Core. When Kazari returned four of the Medals Ankh had stolen from me, he did say that Ankh must have secretly kept one of my Cores, because last I checked, I was missing five Cores. That dratted boy—Hino Eiji, I believe—used Kazari's Medals to get them back in Japan, and I want them all back."

"Sorry, but I don't have it on me." I answered after regaining my composure. "And even if I did, I wouldn't give it to you. No offense, but I think we'll be keeping the extra Unagi because according to Ankh it's the only thing besides Gatakiriba that can stand up to your offspring. And since I don't even have Gatakiriba Combo at my disposal at the moment, it would be bad if I gave up the remaining trump card—I mean Medal, right?"

Hearing this, Mezuru stamped her foot in anger when she realized she wasn't going to get her way and considered raising her arm up to send a powerful jet of water in my direction, but by now a crowd was gathering around the three of us, and she didn't want to attract more attention than was necessary. "You wait. I'll be back. You better watch your back, because sooner or later I will come again. The Unagi Core is mine, and you'll do well to remember that, girl."

"Give my regards to Kazari." I answered just as hotly. "Tell the cat that I'm willing to fight him as many times as possible until he gives back the Cores he stole from us back in May. He's given us enough grief. Could you tell him he now owes me a new tent? He ripped the last one."

"Kazari won't do you any favors, but I'm sure he will be more than happy to get his claws on you and Ankh." After pausing to take a deep breath, she glared at me before continuing to speak. "I'll let you keep the Unagi Core for now, since a fight in this place will just attract attention, but bask in your victory while you can, because there's no way I'll let you keep it in your possession for long."

"Just…go away, okay? We're on vacation here, and you're ruining it. C'mon Kristy. We'll come back later for the Yummy."

With that, I turned around to follow Kristy to the stingray exhibit without so much of a backward glance at Mezuru, who was now biting her lip in frustration. Then, as spectators watched, she turned back into a pile of Cell Medals and, in this form, flew up into the air to fly out of the room as fast as she could in her haste to report what had transpired to her fellow Greeed.


	10. Wish Upon a Fish, Part 3

Usually whenever a Greeed possessed a human the desire of the victim started spiraling out of control instantly. But Mezuru's Yummies required a long incubation period, and so the extent of the damage she had caused by unleashing her latest batch of Yummies was not entirely known for a day or so.

So Sunday passed by without any incident. Ankh was on edge all day, however, as he could not tune out the sound of desire being accumulated because of his innate ability to detect his fellow brethren if they were in the surrounding area, and he became very irritable as a result. Due to Mezuru's clutch being invisible up until the moment they hatched, plotting to destroy them before they could cause physical damage was impossible, and he was not too happy about not being able to launch a preemptive attack at the aquarium.

On Monday, however, the news media finally managed to get out a story about the aquarium's recent acquisitions via the morning news. However, the breaking news came too early, as we girls were still asleep when it aired, and Ankh had to break into our room to reiterate the reporter's story. Unfortunately, since both Kristy and I were still in bed, we were only scantily clad under the blankets, so when he yelled at us to get up at once we naturally both shrieked in terror at the top of our lungs.

"Good god, Ankh, you didn't have to do that!" I cried out after seeing that he had thrown the blanket previously covering my bare legs off to the side, leaving me exposed for all to see. Kristy was still covered, because Ankh had no intentions of bothering her, but like me, she was only wearing a bra and a pair of underwear, so it was only natural for her to feel embarrassed in front of Daniel Piers, even if she was, or rather, had been, his girlfriend. "Does the word 'dignity' mean anything to you?"

"Meet me in the car in five minutes." Was the curt reply. "We're going to take down those Yummies."

"Oh man. Well, I have to start heading back to school in about an hour and a half, so we might as well hurry and beat the stuffing out of those Yummies as fast as we can. But geez, you didn't have to go for the 'breaking and entering' approach just to tell me that."

"Well, how else was I going to wake you up?" Ankh answered. "I tried knocking, but you girls were sleeping like logs, so you didn't hear me. Anyway, I tell you the details once we're en route to the aquarium. You had better hurry though. There's chaos over there at the moment, and what you're going to see there will not be pretty."

According to Ankh, the news reporter had just reported that the aquarium director had discovered that his financial officer had gone ahead and approved the purchase of more than twenty marine animals from various zoos and aquariums nationwide without his permission. Then someone butted in on screen to tell the reporter that people were running out of the aquarium, screaming for their lives. Some of them had been bitten and others had already died from the numerous wounds they had received. A cameraman live at the scene had then broadcasted a clip of some people screaming as newly hatched Eel Yummies with needle sharp teeth and claw-tipped fins wrapped their bodies around their victims' necks and started biting big chunks of flesh off. His live report was then cut short when one of the Eels slammed right into his camera, and another leaped onto him, judging by the loud shriek and a crash as the camera fell out of his hands and onto the concrete below.

"They're like those piranhas I saw in a nature documentary once." Ankh said, as he flicked on the turn signal and turned the steering wheel to the right. "These things will go crazy the moment they smell blood."

"Well, at least the Eel Yummies don't seem to be the electric kind." I pointed out, and took another voracious bite out of my energy bar. I had wanted to take a bagel into the car, but Ankh had threatened to leave us behind if we stopped even briefly to have a proper breakfast. "That means they'll be pretty vulnerable to Unagi."

"In this instance the Yummies will be best brought down with Gatakiriba, but we don't have the Combo anymore, so I guess we'll have to go with your plan." Ankh answered, and grumbled as his stomach protested his decision to skip breakfast. He then accepted Kristy's offer of half of a granola bar to keep his host from dying of hunger and let her shove the entire thing into his mouth so he could quickly return his attention to the road and use both hands to steer. "Just don't lose the Unagi Core though. It's, as you say, the trump card in this fight."

"Right. Now could you please speed up a tad? I thought we were in a hurry."

Hearing this the Greeed let out a irritated growl as he waved his hand at the car in front of us. "I'm trying, okay? I could pass that stupid old lady driving five miles below the speed limit, but in case you haven't noticed, this is a one lane road, and there are a lot of cars coming from the opposite direction at the moment, so I can't exactly pass this idiotic woman safely." But a few moments later the opposite lane was clear, and Ankh immediately turned on the turn signal so he could prepare to pass the white car we were currently tailgating, such was our haste to get to where we needed to go at the moment. However, just before he could change lanes the dashed and solid lines dividing our lane from the lane intended for cars coming from the opposite direction changed into two solid ones, signaling a transition from a passing to a no passing zone. "_Damn! _It looks like we're going to be stuck behind this old coot for the next two miles. Well, so much for your desire to save both time and people."

"Well, it's only two miles. How bad could things get?"

In retrospect, perhaps I shouldn't have said that. Things looked very bad when Ankh finally got us into the parking lot of the now mostly deserted aquarium. Those who could get away had left, and those who could not now littered the sidewalks, the lot, and even inside the building like trash thrown willy-nilly all over the place. The smell of blood was nauseating.

"Oh gods." Kristy could not help but say as we stepped over a man lying face down over some rocks that used to form the barrier around the turtle tank. "This is horrible."

"The Yummy's this way." Ankh announced, not at all fazed by what he was seeing around him. "Let's go."

"You can't help but feel sorry for those folks." I said while sidestepping a small puddle of blood on the tiled floor of the Children's Underwater Theater, which we were now entering. "I mean, they didn't deserve this."

"Yeah." Kristy agreed. "They came here to have fun, after all."

"Yes, they did." Another voice said, causing Ankh to whirl around and point an accusing finger at her.

"You! It was your desire that created this mess, was it not?"

"My desire?" The woman who stood at the entrance to the Children's Theater looked puzzled at first, but then she seemed to understand and broke down sobbing. "It's all my fault! I don't know…I don't know what came over me. I just had this feeling that…that it was going to be all right to make so many deals with other institutions all at once. I mean, I wanted this aquarium to be the best known attraction in New Jersey. Better than the ones in Camden and Massachusetts."

"Well, I understand that many people desire to become famous, but now the Yummies are on the loose, and we have to take them down before they spread out all over the town." I said. "Do you know where they might be?"

The woman continued to sob as I asked this, but eventually she managed to point a finger toward the theater doors. "Go back out and make your way to the generator downstairs. I saw them all come together to form one giant eel before going down there after they had gotten everyone here. I wonder why though."

"This is bad." Kristy was the first to put two and two together after hearing this. "If the Eel Yummies are after the generator, they could short it out and leave us in the dark. We can't attack what we can't see."

"The situation would be even worse if they somehow absorbed the electricity and turned themselves into Electric Eel Yummies." Ankh added, and I shot him a look of alarm when I heard this. "And if they can absorb electricity, then the Unagi Core would be useless, since the only weapons it equips you with as OOO is a pair of electric whips."

"That's not good." I said.

"That's really not good." Kristy agreed.

"Way to state the obvious, girls. Anyway, useless or not, we can't do anything about the generator now, because it's probably already there, and if it does short out the circuits in here we will be sitting ducks. Best to go outside so that we don't cause collateral damage to this building."

"Since when did you begin to care about collateral damage?" I asked, since up to that point I had been sure that Ankh wasn't too worried about the possible loss of human lives and property damages during my fights as OOO.

"_Never mind that!_ Let's go. It would be bad if we were trapped in here if the automatic doors stopped working within the next couple of minutes."

"Ooh, never thought of that." I then turned back to the still sniffling woman and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Come, ma'am. Let's get you out of here before those nasty Eel Yummies come back."

With Mrs. White in tow, we carefully began retracing our steps back to the entrance. As Ankh had predicted, the power indeed went out just before we could go through the last door. Emergency lights then came on to help us see, but with the power to the doors cut, there was no way out anymore.

"We'll just have to punch our way through then, I suppose." I told Ankh. "Hand me the Medals for Sagohzou, will you?"

"I don't have them." Ankh replied while glaring at me.

"We're out of Medals?"

"Baka! We still have my Cores, remember? And two others. I'm sure you can at least recall this much."

"Oh right, we lost everything but Tatoba and Tajador to that cat dude...Kazari, I think you called him. Well, considering Tajador has the claws for feet mechanism, do you mind if I use that to kick us a way out?"

"We have no choice but to do so, I suppose. But there's no way I'm giving you all my Medals again like I did last time. You can have Condor, but that's it. Remember, these Medals are _my personal Cores_. So don't you go abusing them." With that, he pulled out the Medal case and handed me the Taka, Tora, and Condor Medals. "But since you need them, well, how to put this…_Knock yourself out._"

"Gee, thanks Ankh!" For some reason I was so happy after getting the Medals that I went right over to not only grab them but at the same time give him a quick hug and a kiss. "Never thought you would so freely part with your Medals."

"Well, as long as I get them back after you're done using them, I'm okay with you taking my Medals, I suppose." Ankh answered as he tried to wipe what could have been lipstick off his cheek. There was really nothing on his face, but he apparently didn't want to get what younger boys would have called 'cooties.' "And besides, we are in a predicament at the moment, so I _have_ to part with them for a bit. Now hurry up and transform before we run out of air. I don't think the ventilation system is working properly thanks to the power outage." Indeed, the air seemed to be growing staler with every breath we took, and Mrs. White looked ready to faint. Even Kristy started coughing.

"Oh man. In that case we had better hurry." Without further ado I hurriedly jammed the Medals into their respective sockets in the OOO Driver and had them scanned with the Scanner so we could begin our escape.

A couple of well aimed kicks with the Condor talons on my legs later, we managed to get ourselves out of the aquarium, only to be greeted by, to Ankh at least, a familiar man wearing a baseball hat and a yellow checkered T-shirt. There was a hot dog in his hand, but instead of a sausage, there was a dead mouse between the two halves of a pre-cut bun. A dead, uncooked mouse. The fur was still on the thing, and it looked like it had just been killed.

"Mm." the young man smacked his lips as he prepared to stuff the hot dog into its mouth. "Looks delicious."

"What do you want?" Ankh was not happy to see his fellow Greeed, since Kazari had double-crossed him many times before, and he was sure the cat Greeed was up to no good again.

"Hmm? Well, well, well, Mezuru did say you three would be here. What a pleasant surprise! Did you miss me?"

Hearing this, Ankh scoffed at him before giving the other Greeed a look of disdain. "Of course not. So. I see you've made friends with Mezuru. Last I checked, none of you, save for that fool Gamel, got along well with each other. It's all very suspicious of you all to suddenly cooperate, if you ask me."

"Well, considering you're getting along so well with OOO, I figured it was time to change our ways too. After all, we can't exactly have you hogging all the glory, can we?" He then snapped his fingers, prompting the wall behind us to explode. Kristy then screamed in terror as the Eel Yummies—in the form of a giant eel—snapped at her and Mrs. White as they ran for cover behind a car (which was thankfully not our car), and I watched, horrified, as the monster bit down on that car, raised it up to the sky, and made ready to slam the vehicle back down on its victims.

"Ankh, I need Cheetah!"

"If I must repeat that we no longer have all the Medals we used to have, you're not going to get the privilege of transforming for a month!" Ankh yelled back.

"Sorry, so sorry! Then quick, hand me Kujaku! Or Unagi! Anything! Kristy's in danger!"

POW!

At that moment Kazari chose to strike Ankh in his Greeed form while he was distracted, but his opponent was faster and managed to hit him first, hard. A bright yellow Core Medal sailed into the air soon afterward, and Kazari turned to leap after it, but Ankh managed to detach himself from Daniel just long enough to fly up and get it before the other Greeed could retrieve his Core.

"Michelle, catch!" he called out, and let the Medal fly towards me. After getting it, I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was the Core I had just asked him for. "Use it, quick! Oh, and take this!" Another Medal, this one blue, also flew into my hands at this time, prompting me to begin switching out the Tora and Condor Medals so I could replace them with the Unagi and Cheetah Cores.

"Taka, Unagi, Cheetah!" The Scanner now said once swiped over the Medals, and I immediately started racing toward my friend, who was screaming in terror as the Eel Yummy threw back its head and made ready to let fly the vehicle still grasped firmly in its jaws.

"Give it back!" Kazari was furious when he saw me put these Medals into the OOO Driver, but he couldn't do anything because Ankh was now slapping him from all directions in an attempt to dissuade him from focusing his attention on me and halting the transformation process. "Ouch! Stop that!"

"Heh, catch me if you can!" Ankh answered, and proceeded to deliver another couple of blows on the cat's head while cackling evilly.

We must now return our attention to the Eel Yummy about to turn my friend into a pancake with the car it was currently biting on. Thanks to the power of speed the Cheetah Core, I was able to make it over to Kristy just in time to get her out of the way before the car came hurtling down to earth, creating a wide and somewhat deep crater where both ladies would have been had I not got them out of harm's way.

The Eel Yummy, having discovered that its prey had escaped, immediately came after me instead. Hoping that it was vulnerable to electricity, I then pulled the Unagi whips out from their sockets on my arms and started whacking its head with them as it repeatedly tried to bite me. This strategy proved to be very effective, and I winced every once in a while when an occasional Cell Medal from the Yummy bounced off the bug-like eyes on my helmet as my whips broke its "skin."

Because I was only attacking its head and not the rest of its body, the Yummy did not go down as easily as I had hoped. But while I was engaged in battle with it Ankh somehow managed to retake a few Cores from Kazari and floated over with two very familiar Cores in his hand. A third Medal, the Batta Core, was halfway out of his palm, as if he wasn't sure whether or not to give it to me along with the other two Medals he had just literally pried out of his fellow Greeed's chest.

"Is…is that the Gatakiriba Combo Medals?"

"Of course! What else could they be? Stupid girl."

"Hey! Anyway, thanks for the Cores. Toss them here!"

"Not until I get paid for this delivery service."

"Ankh! This is no time to discuss payment! Can't you see I've got my hands tied here?"

"I can see that. But I just went through all that trouble with Kazari to get you these Cores. Do you want me to give them back instead?"

"Don't you dare! Okay, okay, all right! One ice pop. That's your reward. You can help yourself after you've dropped me back at the hotel I'm staying in this year."

"Stingy with the ice candy, aren't you?"

"Fine, two then! But fork over the advance payment before I get my butt kicked, or I won't be able to buy you more popsicles when you run out. A dead person can't go to the supermarket. And don't even think about begging Kristy for the ice pops. She's just likely to chew you out for eating unhealthy foods, being a health nut and all."

While not eager to part with the spoils of his latest scuffle with Kazari, Ankh realized that the Eel Yummy was indeed winning the battle at the moment and decided it was better to act first and discuss the details of his reward with me later. And while I wasn't too eager to use Gatakiriba due to my dislike of bugs, a Yummy as big as this one required an attack plan that involved coming at it from all sides, and this meant that the ability of the Combo to create clones of itself would be needed.

Transforming into Gatakiriba was the easy part. But soon after the belt finished singing the last refrain of its henshin song, I suddenly felt a splitting headache coming on, and for the first time experienced what a person with migraines might have felt as my consciousness virtually splintered into many fragments so I could have myself cloned a dozen or so times. No, make that two dozen. When I finally got the chance to look around, I could not only see how many stunt doubles I now had, but felt them too, like multiple extensions of my body. I had only to think about doing something, and the clones responded by either imitating me, or moving around according to my wishes.

But the Eel Yummy, like all monsters, was too impatient to get its hands, or rather jaws, on me, and I didn't have much time to organize my "army" before it slammed its head down in an attempt to bite down on one of the numerous clones still standing behind and around me. It had been disoriented at first by the appearance of so many enemies, but it was no longer confused now, so great was its lust to eliminate all obstacles.

"Finish it!" I heard Ankh say when my clones had finished rolling out of its way two or three times. "Don't just dodge the thing, kill it already! The parking lot's getting blown to bits. I'm going to go drive the car out of the way before you blow it up."

"Good thinking. You do that." I said, and unclipped the Scanner from my belt, prompting all my clones to copy my movements and pick up their Scanners too. A few moments later a very loud chorus of "Scanning Charge" was heard, and I used the power of the Batta Medal to leap up toward the Eel Yummy's head as it tried to attack a clone standing just below its head.

All the clones now leaped up into the air too, and I couldn't help but grin when I saw the aforementioned clone jump up as well to punch the Eel's lower jaw, causing it to snap its jaws shut in surprise so hard, two of its fangs fell out and disintegrated into Cell Medals as they fell towards the ground. "Ooh, right in the kisser! Sweet."

"Ouch." Said Kristy at this time, but I didn't hear her as all the Gatakiriba clones, including me, did a Rider Kick on the Eel Yummy from all sides, creating a big explosion that for a moment blinded her and caused her to avert her eyes from the bright flash of light that immediately followed the monster's demise.

Mrs. White was very grateful that we had saved her, but sighed sadly when she announced that the aquarium would have to be closed for renovations due to the monster attack. However, she promised to let the director know that it was we who had come to rescue her and take care of the situation, and even told us that she would never divulge our real names to the media if they should contact her about what had happened this morning.

"I'll just say the Power Rangers showed up to save the day." She said with a chuckle. When I groaned upon hearing that, she looked surprised. "Why, is this not a good excuse?"

"Well, you see, Michelle's been mistaken for a Power Ranger a lot lately, so I don't think she'll appreciate you using that excuse—" Kristy tried to explain, but was interrupted when her phone beeped, signaling the arrival of yet another text message. "Hang on, let me read this. Eiji again? How nice! I—NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Kristy's smile now turned into one of pure horror and she almost dropped her phone when she got to the bottom of Eiji's latest text message. Out of concern, I asked if there was some crisis back in Japan, and if I should call him to ask if the guy was all right, but Kristy shook her head.

"Well, if you're sure, then I suppose I won't bother." I said. "But may I see what he wrote?"

"Okay, but you're not going to like it."

The phone was then handed to me, and I laughed when I saw what was on the screen. "What do we have here, a twitter-pated youth? My, my, things are certainly getting interesting!"

"Twitter-pated?" Ankh asked, since he was unfamiliar with the term, and I quickly explained that Eiji had reported how he had fallen in love with a girl who had shown up to eat at Cous Coussier the night before, and that he wanted to know if we had any dating advice to give him before he took her out on a tour of the city (as she was a foreigner just visiting the area and was unfamiliar with the place). "Ugh. I _knew_ it was a bad idea to hang out with you folks. You people are too emotional for my liking." Then, after noticing Kristy had suddenly burst into tears, he let out an irritated growl before jerking his head in her direction. "Tell me this is just a temporary thing."

"I think Kristy's jealous because she's always believed up to now that Eiji loved her because he said she was cute." I said. "Considering how girls can become very possessive over guys they like, I think we're going to be stuck with a heartbroken, resentful soul for a long, long time. She might never forgive Eiji for this."

"So it's possible that the two of us won't be getting a good night's sleep for a while. That's just great." Ankh replied sarcastically.

Knowing how Kristy tended to cry all night when severely distressed, as she was now, and had to endure about four days without a good night's rest once when she broke up with her first boyfriend, I could only nod and give the Greeed a grim look. "Looks like it. Speaking of staying up all night, you're gonna need a lot of caffeine. Oh, and I mention at least 3 or 4 tissue boxes? That girl could literally cry you a river."

"_Oh joy._"


	11. Love Does Not Make the World Go Round

Chapter 8: Jealousy, Cupid's Arrow, and Broken Hearts

The hotel room looked like it had been prepped for a party of people eager to watch the Super Bowl. There were soda bottles on the computer desk, a half empty pizza box on the bed, and the TV was on. The microwave was preparing a bag of extra buttery popcorn, and someone was eating Taco Bell tacos while shaking her fist at the screen, undoubtedly rooting for her favorite football team.

But a casual glance at what was happening inside this hotel-turned-dorm would not have revealed what was really going on. It was not the Super Bowl being shown on TV. The food was there because someone had been hungry enough to prepare a lot of food for consumption. What was really being shown on screen was an Egyptian temple, specifically the one at Luxor. An off-screen narrator was explaining to his audience the significance of the reliefs shown on the walls of the Temple of Luxor, and, according to his viewer, not getting to the main point right away.

"C'mon dude!" After listening to the narrator spend five minutes talking about how "great" Ramses II had been, or rather, how great he (the pharaoh of course) had thought he had been after "winning" the battle against the Hittites in Kadesh, which was located in present-day Syria, I had the sudden urge to throw the Wii remote sitting next to my cup of lemon iced tea at the screen. Prior to watching the documentary I had been playing Okami and had neglected to clean up afterward. I would later jokingly say that the destruction of an object on or near the TV (I didn't want to ruin the actual TV because firstly, it was an expensive HD TV provided by the hotel, and secondly, I needed to use it to watch the program anyway) would have been worth it if that would make the historian talking about said battle get to the main point of his speech. "You gonna tell us this is all propaganda, or what? You know what's written on these walls is not exactly true, right?"

As if on cue, the narrator finally answered my question by mentioning exactly what I had been hoping he would say five minutes ago. "But we must not take what has been carved here on the walls of this magnificent temple seriously. Pharaohs loved to embellish tales of their exploits for personal gain, and as such, much of what can be construed as fact is debatable. We do not know what exactly happened during the Battle of Kadesh, but from what research has been done, we can conclude that this battle marked a turning point in Egyptian-Hittite relations. Their defeat at Kadesh was significant because it showed that Egypt was no longer the dominant power in the Middle East, as it was throughout much of the New Kingdom period. It marked the decline of Egyptian supremacy, as the Egyptians were not able to control the lands of Syria nor exert their influence over the region, as they could with Nubia. After Ramses II, no other pharaoh could restore Egypt to its former glory."

"Thank you! Finally!"

As enthusiastic as I was about the historian's awesome conclusion to his little history lesson, my roommate was not amused.

"I can't believe you're watching this stupid History Channel program. Thanks to you, I've got no way of watching the 70th anniversary Miss America Pageant live on TV."

"You want beauty contests? Then why don't you watch this instead?" I asked, and tossed her a copy of the 2008 Junon SuperBoy Contest DVD I had purchased and subbed myself. "It's subbed, so you shouldn't have any trouble understanding what's being said. My friend's pen pal—to be more specific, texting pal—won second place in that contest. I mailed this to him last week and he sent it back by next day air with his autograph in it, along with a coupon for 500 yen off any meal ordered at the restaurant he currently works at. That was awesome." (*Those of you who are watching Kamen Rider OOO may or may not be aware that Shu Watanabe a.k.a. Eiji Hino, actually did win 2nd place during the 2008 21st Junon SuperBoy Contest, which is basically a beauty pageant for guys.)

"Oh my gosh!" If there was one thing this annoying, obnoxious roommate and I had in common, it was tendency to gush over cute guys. "He's so _cute_! Can you give me his phone number?"

"Uh, I'm afraid he doesn't speak much English, and I don't think you have an international plan on your phone." I said. "I should warn you that understands simple sentences, but getting him to respond in proper English will be hard. Unless you can speak Japanese, you two are going to have a hard time communicating. Besides, he's already taken. Got himself a date already."

"With who?"

"I have no idea. He just texted that he fell head over heels for_ somebody_, but other than that, I know nothing about his new relationship. Now just be quiet and watch that DVD while I finish this program. You're making me miss the good part."

"As if there's _anything _good about Ramhead."

"It's Ramses, not Ramhead. And he was the most awesome king ever. I mean, can you believe he reigned for 67 years?"

"Oh yay, more useless trivia."

"It's not useless! Anyway, back to the show—"

"Oh my god, look at his teeth! I can't believe he won second place looking like that!" My roommate had just started watching the Contest Announcement portion of the DVD and was now watching Eiji walk across the stage to accept his certificate and trophy.

"Oh yeah, I must have forgotten to mention that he didn't have his teeth fixed until after he won that contest. He looks a lot better now, trust me."

"I still can't believe Pointy Mouth here actually won second place with that horrid smile of his. I would have disqualified him from the get-go."

"Hey, that's not nice. Insult him again and you won't get any popcorn."

"Like I would care about your stupid popcorn."

"It's extra buttery."

"Oh gosh, is it? Sorry! Can I have some?" My roommate now paused the DVD and gave me the famous 'puppy dog' eyes as I came over holding a bowl and the steaming bag of movie-theater-style popcorn.

"*Sigh* Okay, you can have some, but please don't call Eiji Mr. Pointy Mouth again. He's my friend's friend, and by insulting him you're also offending all three of us."

"Sorry. Anyway, speaking of pretty boys, have you changed your mind about letting me put up that Justin Bieber poster on your side of the room?"

"_Nani?_ NO!"

Eiji Hino came back into a different conversation a few days later, when I was back in the apartment situated close to the college I had graduated from after being invited two days before to come back and taste Ankh's cooking, which was becoming quite a sensation in town. Apparently he had tried his hand at some homemade dumplings for a young boy looking to bring them in to a cultural cuisine appreciation festival at his elementary school after being urged by Kristy to do so, and the dumplings had turned out to be a crowd favorite. Because I had missed this event, Ankh had whipped up a second batch and called me over to try some, since Kristy desperately wanted to know what I thought of them. So I did, and was just about to ask Ankh for advice on how to make them myself when Kristy butted in to say something not related to food.

"Excuse me, but could you give me your thoughts on something?" she asked, and I raised an eyebrow when she took her phone out of her jeans pocket and flipped out the keyboard on her smart-phone. "Should I text Eiji to let him know what I think of his girlfriend?"

"What, have you not given him the dating advice he asked for yet?" I asked, shocked, and Kristy shook her head.

"I did that. But Michelle, I can't bear to see him with that girl. They're so lovey-dovey and mushy-mushy together, it makes me sick! Look at them!" Here she tapped the screen, allowing a photo of Eiji and his female companion to pop up and gave me a look of disgust. She then flashed the photo at Ankh, who just rolled his eyes and muttered something about Eiji being stupid again as he returned his attention to Bast, whose claws he was currently trimming. "They're even eating from the same plate and munching on the same strand of spaghetti! That's so wrong, you know."

"Kristy!" I was horrified when I realized she was saying this because she was jealous of Hino's new relationship with the young foreign woman. "You're not thinking of breaking them up, are you? Because _that_ would be what I consider 'so wrong.' He's happy when he's with that girl, so you have no right whatsoever to make them suddenly hate each other. Leave him be. At least he still thinks of us as his friends. Is that not enough?"

"But this isn't right! I mean, he only had eyes for me until that girl came along."

"That may be true, but who are you to tell him who he should love? Right Ankh?"

"What?" Ankh was so engrossed in his task, he did not reply right away, and when he finally acknowledged me, it was with an irritated snarl. "Don't startle me like that, fool! I almost cut the claw down to the quick!"

"Sorry. But am I right in saying that we shouldn't get involved in the love life of others?"

"Would be better if I could keep _my_ nose out of_ your_ lives." Ankh retorted. "But nooo, I'm stuck with you two until my fellow Greeed leave us alone, or until I get my body back. As for love, who cares? Greeeds have no need for love. All right, done. Off you go, cat." The clippers he was holding were then thrown back into the grooming kit sitting on the table next to him, and Bast meowed happily as she jumped off his lap to attack a catnip mouse lying on the floor.

"Hm. Good point. Forget I asked. Hey Kristy—huh? Where did she go?"

While exchanging words with Ankh, I had failed to notice Kristy leaving the room with her phone. "Boy, I sure hope she isn't going off to do something stupid."

"Knowing her, she'll just do what you just warned her not to do." Ankh said, and laid down on the sofa so he could close his eyes. "Now for a little nap. Have a Popsicle ready for me to eat before I wake up in a hour or so, will you? I think I deserve one after spending an entire afternoon making your dumplings."

"I do wish you would stop viewing ice candy as rewards for accomplishing even the simplest of tasks, but as I was about to say before Kristy interrupted me earlier, these dumplings were delicious, so yeah, you can have your ice pop as soon as you wake up. Sweet dreams."

"Shut up and go away." Ankh grumbled, and I smiled, amused, as he reached out blindly for something to minimize background noises while he slept and finally fell asleep with a giant stuffed unicorn I had won from playing a boardwalk game at Six Flags over his face.

Eiji Hino smiled at the young woman walking beside him as he helped her off the bus that had just dropped the two of them off at Tokyo Tower. Then, as she looked up to see the top of the building, he asked her what she thought of Japan so far.

"The people here are so nice." The lady said. "You guys are really hospitable citizens."

"We aim to please." Eiji replied with a laugh, and grinned as he took a few brochures someone on the sidewalk was handing out and gave a copy of each brochure to his new girlfriend. "I believe they're bilingual, so you can read them."

"Indeed, the English on these pamphlets is quite good." The girl remarked, and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you! Now, shall we?"

"Oh yes. Of course." Eiji then steered her toward the Tower itself, and bowed just before they could go through the glass doors leading into the bottom floor of the building the tower stood over. "After you, Rachel-chan."

"Aw, that's so sweet of you. Eiji-kun!" Rachel now playfully pinched Eiji's cheeks, and he blushed as the girl, who was about two years older than him, showered him with what he thought was a little too much affection, since they had had only known each other a week or so. She finally took her fingers off of him and went into the building, but before he could follow, his phone suddenly rapped the Tatoba Combo henshin song, alerting him to a text that had just been send to his phone. As usual he got a few stares because of the unusual ringtone he had set, but some people recognized him and he had to first accept their congratulations for winning the Junon SuperBoy Contest and agree to the signing of four or five autographs before he could reunite with Rachel, who had a shocked look on her face.

"Oh my gosh," she said as soon as the two of them had gotten past security and the ticket booth a couple of minutes later, "I didn't know you were famous."

"Yes I am famous, but I try not to let myself be noticed as much as I can. It's really quite embarrassing when people notice me." Eiji answered, and had to endure another of Rachel's famous 'love pinches' on his cheek when he told her about winning second place at the 21st Junon SuperBoy Contest. When they got to the observatory deck, he was of course only too happy to ditch her, if only temporarily, to read his text message, which had been sent by Kristy. "'Eiji, you're mine. Not some other wishy-washy girl's. You said I was cute, so you must love me. Oh Eiji, be mine, Valentine!' Wait, what? Oh no…"

"Kristy? Who's Kristy?" Rachel now came up to look over Eiji's shoulder after finding and noticing he was reading something on his phone screen. Before Eiji could explain that this girl had nothing to do with their relationship, Rachel had read the message—unlike Kristy, she was quite fluent in Japanese—and raised her hand up to slap Eiji hard on his already sore cheek. "How _could _you! I thought you loved me! Jerk!"

"This isn't what you think it is…" Eiji tried to calmly explain who Kristy really was, but Rachel was now firmly convinced that her Japanese boyfriend was cheating on her and pointed an accusing finger at him as she exposed his "sin" for everyone in the vicinity to hear. "Rachel, please, Kristy is not—"

"Liar! You said you had no girlfriend before you met me!"

"Ah no, please let me explain…"

But alas, Rachel had now riled up the crowd. Poor Eiji was then forced to apologize to a multitude of elderly men and women (mostly women) in the vicinity who thought kids of his generation were immoral, uncouth youth who cared nothing about social norms and proper behavior.

"ZZZ…wha…oh what is it now?" Ankh grumbled as he pushed himself off the sofa he had been sleeping in about two hours later to answer his iPhone4, which was now ringing loudly in his pocket. The stuffed unicorn that had been on his face now fell off his head and onto his lap, and he tossed it off to the side before putting the phone to his ear. "_Hello?_"

"Ankh!" Eiji sounded frantic on the other end. "You have got to help me. Rachel's left me and I don't know what to do!"

Ankh's eyes narrowed when he heard this. "What did you do?" he asked in an accusatory tone.

"We were sightseeing in Tokyo Tower when all of a sudden Kristy texted me to tell me how jealous she was of my new girlfriend. Next thing I knew, Rachel was accusing me of cheating on her! As if I would ever!"

"And pray tell, why are you telling _me_ your sob story and not Hina or Chiyoko or even Gotou?"

"Ankh, please. You know I would never cheat on anyone. I am a honest guy. What do you think I should do to make up with Rachel? I love her so much, and yet Kristy's gone and ruined everything."

"Maybe you should get in touch with that crazy woman who broke up your silly little relationship and knock some sense into her then. Get her to apologize and fix this mess. Now…are you crying?"

Back in Cous Coussier, Eiji was indeed holding back tears. He wasn't exactly crying at the moment, but he was sniffling, as if about to. Luckily Gotou came by with a box of tissues so he could blow his nose and wipe his eyes. Behind him, Hina and Chiyoko exchanged looks of concern as they watched this usually cheerful young man mourn the loss of his first real love. "Well, you could say that."

Despite knowing how miserable Eiji was at the moment, Ankh just responded by bursting into laughter. This surprised Eiji, who was not expecting his former brother-in-arms make fun of the predicament he had found himself in. "I knew it! I knew they were too good for you. Girls are trouble, Eiji. You should have known that by now. They will meddle in your affairs and ruin things."

"But girls aren't all that bad." Eiji replied. "Michelle and Kristy saved you from certain death, remember?"

"Don't remind me. Anyway, seeing as I'm now awake, I might as well raid the freezer for that ice pop Michelle said I could have when I woke up."

"You were asleep?"

"What, I can't take naps?"

"Sorry Ankh. I'll leave you alone now. It was nice to hear from you, by the way. Come and visit us when you return to Japan, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now can I go get my Popsicle, or am I going to have to sit here on this stupid stuffed unicorn-I have no idea how _that_ got on my couch-and listen to you sniffle all night?"

"Leave me in my misery, why don't you?" Eiji replied miserably.

"Exactly what I was thinking. Good bye." Ankh then shut off the phone and grinned evilly as he began walking up to the hapless refrigerator about to be raided for the fourth time that day.


End file.
